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Thread: Doesn't want to talk

  1. Regular Member
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    #1

    Doesn't want to talk

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    Last edited by Shannonlea93; 06-21-2014 at 02:06 AM.
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    #2
    I would just say give it time. It's a huge adjustment so he needs time to get the feel of things over there, cope with separation from you & home, and focus on his job.

    "Thank you so much. No matter what, nothing is possible without you behind the scenes bustin heads and takin names. Thank you again. Everything you have done for me means a lot and nothing has gone unnoticed. I love you so much and thank you for saying 'I do.'"
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    #3
    I don't think it's abnormal to think that, no, but it's not something everyone thinks. It just depends on the couple. DH and I did not talk as often as we could ... to us (and for others, I know we aren't the only ones) if we overcommunicate it leads to bickering and long silences. It was better to have fewer, higher quality conversations than to just have a large quantity of them. In that sense I think distance can be very helpful.

    Of course with us it as a mutual decision. If it's hurting you I do think it's something he needs to reconsider and to come to an agreement with you about how much communication will happen.
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    #4
    It's just this time last year while he was in tech school we broke up and he distanced himself then so it kinda freaks me out. I know it's different now that we are married but it still bothers me.
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    #5
    It sounds like he is just having a hard time adjusting, and it is really hard. Being apart from someone you love. I can understand from past experiences why you'd be worried, let some time go by and just reassure him you love him or maybe send him a funny message or talk about something you both like and not the "missing you part" even though you do...
    Hang in there
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    #6
    He seems ok when he does talk. Its just the one day he went to chow and when he came back he flipped out on me... He said he wanted to talk before he left and when he came back he didn't, a few days later he said he was having a bad day.
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Shannonlea93 View Post
    It's just this time last year while he was in tech school we broke up and he distanced himself then so it kinda freaks me out. I know it's different now that we are married but it still bothers me.
    I can understand why it would freak you out then. But remember the environment is different out there and thinking of home and the ones they miss can be depressing to some. Don't take it as a bad thing if communication is limited
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    #8
    I'm trying not to. It's just hard because before he left we would talk everyday all day, even if it was random stuff. Now he says we talk about the same stuff and it makes him miss me more. He also said it makes him look forward to his days off and it feels like the deployment is going faster because he has something to look forward to. I just don't get why he said he was distancing himself from me.
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Rissa*Rawr View Post
    I would just say give it time. It's a huge adjustment so he needs time to get the feel of things over there, cope with separation from you & home, and focus on his job.
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    #10
    Will it get better? I just hate not being able to talk and it doesn't help I read so many horror stories about people's marriages falling apart during deployment.
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