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  1. Regular Member
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    #1

    confused

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    Hey! so my boyfriend and I are going through this deployment and he only has a few months left (yay). For the first few months, it was absolutely wonderful. We were always emailing back and forth because he couldn't get skype. Now, however, things have changed. He used to be interested in what was going on, there was never an email he didn't return. Now, I'm lucky if he returns one every two weeks. It's not that he isn't available -- his skype status quite clearly kills that idea. This is the first deployment I've had to go through, is this normal for him to suddenly get so distant?
    Last edited by snprgf; 05-21-2013 at 10:02 AM.
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    #2
    Communication changes for a variety of reasons, many of which can be out of his control. The easiest thing to do is just ask him if there is a reason for the sudden change.



    p.s. welcome to the boards.. you should introduce yourself!
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    #3
    That sounds pretty normal. After a certain point its hard for them to hear about back home because they become so distant to it. The communication will vary throughout the deployment as well as their interest in home. It typically doesn't have anything to do with you, just usually has to do with the job and deployment and what that all entails. They typically try and shut out home sometimes because they're focused on work and have a brotherhood mentality. Just hold out, and by the time he comes home, things should be okay.
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by FlyboysGirl View Post
    Communication changes for a variety of reasons, many of which can be out of his control. The easiest thing to do is just ask him if there is a reason for the sudden change.



    p.s. welcome to the boards.. you should introduce yourself!
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by snprgf View Post
    Hey! so my boyfriend and I are going through this deployment and he only has a few months left (yay). For the first few months, it was absolutely wonderful. We were always emailing back and forth because he couldn't get skype. Now, however, things have changed. He used to be interested in what was going on, there was never an email he didn't return. Now, I'm lucky if he returns one every two weeks. It's not that he isn't available -- his skype status quite clearly kills that idea. This is the first deployment I've had to go through, is this normal for him to suddenly get so distant?
    I agree with the rest of the girls. Communication always changes pre/during/post deployment. I would ask him though. It's frustrating! There are times I have to remind my DH to tell me he loves me. FRUSTRATING!!! Just ask him, you'll feel better. Usually the end of the deployment drags. It drives us crazy! He probably is just feeling the boredom now. He's tired of it and just wants to get home.
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Caity Rose View Post
    That sounds pretty normal. After a certain point its hard for them to hear about back home because they become so distant to it. The communication will vary throughout the deployment as well as their interest in home. It typically doesn't have anything to do with you, just usually has to do with the job and deployment and what that all entails. They typically try and shut out home sometimes because they're focused on work and have a brotherhood mentality. Just hold out, and by the time he comes home, things should be okay.
    This is something I've been trying to keep in my mind lol. So far communication is great, but it is different from when he's back home. I'm just doing my best to fulfill his needs... I know the days are fast approaching where I won't be able to talk with him so often so gearing myself up for that.
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    #7
    I know y'all are way more experienced than I am in this, so I guess you are the right people to talk to. Honestly, the communication problems aren't because he isn't able to get any. He's logged into skype almost every day, yet he doesn't talk to me anymore. There's only two months left of his nine month deployment. The first six months were fine, but this last part has been absolute hell for us. Is this normal?
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by snprgf View Post
    I know y'all are way more experienced than I am in this, so I guess you are the right people to talk to. Honestly, the communication problems aren't because he isn't able to get any. He's logged into skype almost every day, yet he doesn't talk to me anymore. There's only two months left of his nine month deployment. The first six months were fine, but this last part has been absolute hell for us. Is this normal?
    Everyone is different. He may have recently experienced something that's rattling his brain more than usual and he's having issues coping. I would just assure him you're there for him if he wants to talk. Be supportive, it's all you can really do at this point. For DH and I it helped to talk about the future and what he had to look forward to while he was gone and when we had issues communicating, for other couples though this may just drag their s/o down more bringing back to reality what they're missing and they feel like it's their responsability to be their for their woman but they can't. Luckily there's only a couple months left, you can try to ask him what's buggin him or that you feel like he's being distant but he might just shy away more. It's something that needs to be addressed of course, I personally talked to DH when he got home and asked him what was up and how I felt. It was difficult for us to discuss it via email or on the phone, it was an in-person convo that we needed. Anyhow, best of luck to you girlie
    This girl is gearing up for ANG!

    islandxgirl:My bestie, my love, my wifey since 06/22/11

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