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Thread: When "Keeping Busy" Doesn't Cut It

  1. Senior Member
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    #1

    When "Keeping Busy" Doesn't Cut It

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    I know I know, the best thing is to keep busy. But over the past few days it has been getting a little rough to not just miss him. I am probably sure it is a phase but not quite sure how to pull out of it. He has been busy with work and we haven't had a chance to talk much. When we do he is too tired to talk past the small stuff (work, weather, etc.). Sending care packages helps but right now I just want to see him and be in the same space with him. Something that isn't possible a world away. We have a long way to go with this deployment and it is still fairly early and this rough patch is throwing off my resolve.
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    #2
    Many SOs are going through the same thing as you. It'll get better. Have you tried picking up new hobbies? A painting class, zumba, something fun like that?
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    #3
    some days for me whether i do cleaning, watch a film, dance anything he is always on my mind and nothing can change that, sometimes i just need a cry or if i'm lucky will get to chat to him, it probably is a rough patch that your going through and i hope you feel better soon but sometimes deployments just suck if you have a friend you can meet up with or chat to sometimes that takes my mind off it
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    #4
    Honestly, sometimes you have those days where nothing helps. It's OK, it happens. You're not suppose to be OK 100% of the time, allow yourself a day or two to mope around, but be sure to start fresh the next day. As the PP stated, maybe try picking up a new hobby or maybe set up a weekly date (lunch, movie etc) with a girlfriend as something to look forward to each week!

    hang in there!!
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    #5
    Thanks everyone for the hugs! It REALLY does help to hear from and know that it will get better.
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    #6
    I had a few days like that earlier this week. sometimes you just have to tough it out. Or, if you have a really good friend, go ahead and ask if they can be a sounding board for a night. No advice, just someone to talk at. It helps!
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    #7
    It's normal, and you will pull through it. At first, I didn't want those emotions to happen to me, at all. I tried to avoid just missing him by doing anything and everything I could to keep busy. Eventually, I realized that it's normal, it happens, at it will pass. It's okay to go through all of the emotions, because deployments bring ALL of the emotions out. It's okay! My husband is deployed right now as well, and I go through the same waves of emotions, I just try and think positive things, once I start feeling negative. I make sure I don't let me myself get too down about him being gone, and missing him is definitely okay. No matter how I feel during the days, I am ALWAYS missing him & he is always on my mind.


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    #8
    Sometimes you just get sad and miss them, it's normal. Just know that every day, it's another day closer!


    life's a party, rock your body
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by mrsjennyy View Post
    Sometimes you just get sad and miss them, it's normal. Just know that every day, it's another day closer!
    here, here!! Im in the same boat, I piled so much onto my plate and now when I get even a second the tears start to fall all over again. Everyone says it will get better and I am hoping that soon it will. Do realize that life will have to go on, cause if we sit around waiting for them, Im sure it will make the long deployments unbearable.
  10. Breathe and chill
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by FlyboysGirl View Post
    Honestly, sometimes you have those days where nothing helps. It's OK, it happens. You're not suppose to be OK 100% of the time, allow yourself a day or two to mope around, but be sure to start fresh the next day. As the PP stated, maybe try picking up a new hobby or maybe set up a weekly date (lunch, movie etc) with a girlfriend as something to look forward to each week!

    hang in there!!
    Great advice. Sometimes a deep gut wrenching cry your eyes out sobfest is just what the doctor ordered to help you feel better. Cry when you need to and then carry on
    Put on your big girl panties and deal with it like a boss.

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