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Thread: How to deal with your 1st deployment....... Advice needed Please haelp me.

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    #1

    Help How to deal with your 1st deployment....... Advice needed Please haelp me.

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    Ok, hi I'm 20 and new at this military S.O thing and on top of that I am currently dealing with my first deployment and i am having a rough go at it... dose anyone have any advise on how to keep your mind from wondering to the worst places and how to just deal with the absence and the loneliness, Because i am out of ideas..... PLEASE HELP all suggestions and advice would be much appreciated thank you all so much
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    #2
    think positive. that's really all you can do. because the reality of the situation is is that no matter what you do, say or think...he's there and things are out of your control. so why waste the energy it takes to worry and fear. use that energy to find proactive ways to pass the time, try new things, learn new things, meet new people. ENJOY the time he's gone.
    find a positive mantra and post it on sticky nnotes all throughout your house and car. whenever you think of something negative, replace it verbally, out loud, with something positive.

  3. The army may have my man, but I have his heart.
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    #3
    I just went through my first deployment, and never really been around anyone who was in the military. My best advice is to stay busy with friends, family, and just things to keep your mind from wondering. Also, I would say to not freak out. There are going to be days, maybe weeks, maybe months that you won't be able to hear from your loved one, but know it will end. Stay positive and know that you can get through this. PM me if you need anything!
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    #4
    Carmel11725 and bbabi Thank you so much for you kind words of advice and suggestions I think a positive message came to me in the scripture guide today!

    God, give us grace to accept with serenity
    the things that cannot be changed,
    Courage to change the things
    which should be changed,
    and the Wisdom to distinguish
    the one from the other.

    Living one day at a time,
    Enjoying one moment at a time,
    Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
    Taking, as Jesus did,
    This sinful world as it is,
    Not as I would have it,
    Trusting that You will make all things right,
    If I surrender to Your will,
    So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
    And supremely happy with You forever in the next.
    Amen

    So i guess that will be my new mantra because I knelt down and asked God what to do for the first time in a long time and then i sat in on my grandmothers scripture guide class and that's what stuck out and it was like an a-bomb hitting me smack in the fore head. I feel much better now.... i have the confidence with in me now.... I know i will make it threw this because that in witch dose not kill us,makes us stronger! <3
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    #5
    I try to stick to a routine. It seems to make time go faster, and then I don't spend as much time throwing pity parties for myself. One thing I do is write my fiance a letter every day. Find something that you can do every day that you can look forward to-- journal, practice something, read, etc.

    You can do it. :-) PM me if you need anything.
    Follow on Twitter @JoMyGosh
  6. Breathe and chill
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    #6
    Cry when you need to. Cry when you feel overwhelmed; there is nothing weak about it and for me at least, it was cathartic after a sobfest and I felt like I could keep going.

    KEEP BUSY. Try to stay on the go as much as you can. That is one of the things that helped me sleep better...I had to wear myself out during the day to fall asleep in my own bed.

    Set up milestones throughout the deployment. Maybe once a month (more frequently the closer we got to the end), I would give myself something to look forward to (like a concert or dinner with a friend I hadn't seen in awhile). Helped mark the days off faster if what I needed was closer.

    Remember the little things that he used to do before he left. Look for the small things he says/does to remind yourself he loves you and he's coming home and will love you just like before he left.

    Put on your big girl panties and deal with it like a boss.

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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Luz*de*su*Vida View Post
    Cry when you need to. Cry when you feel overwhelmed; there is nothing weak about it and for me at least, it was cathartic after a sobfest and I felt like I could keep going.

    KEEP BUSY. Try to stay on the go as much as you can. That is one of the things that helped me sleep better...I had to wear myself out during the day to fall asleep in my own bed.

    Set up milestones throughout the deployment. Maybe once a month (more frequently the closer we got to the end), I would give myself something to look forward to (like a concert or dinner with a friend I hadn't seen in awhile). Helped mark the days off faster if what I needed was closer.

    Remember the little things that he used to do before he left. Look for the small things he says/does to remind yourself he loves you and he's coming home and will love you just like before he left.


    This is great advice. I too will shortly be in the deployment boat and my oh my does time need to fly!
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    #8
    I write to my DH every single night, even if it's just a short poem I found or a greeting card. I typically feel better at night (clearer mind, less anxiety), so that gives me something to look forward to each day. I'm here if you ever need to talk! I'm new to this as well, so I'm just trying to feel my way through.

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