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Thread: Deployed boyfriend is being so mean. Im broken hearted. I need advice from you ladies

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    Deployed boyfriend is being so mean. Im broken hearted. I need advice from you ladies

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    Well I stumbled across this site during a google search and you guys seem so sweet and supportive so I feel comfertable discussing my problem to you all. I just turned 18yrs old and my(now ex) bf just turned 22. We have been dating on and off since september. Before my ex got deployed he was being so sweet & loving. He told me how he wanted to marry me & have babies & he would constanly tell me to pick out a ring. I was so excited, he was my first(took my virginity) and I loved him very much. About 3 days before he left he started to kind of ignore me & i was sad and confused. When he left, he completly ignored me. I sent him sweet messages, told him i loved him, but nothing.

    We can only communicate through Facebook because his phone wont work. I would send him like 6 message, he would look at them(FB tells you when they've been seen) but wouldn't reply. Then procedd to post statues like everything was ok. I was so hurt. I sent him a long message saying I loved him, i wanted to get married, he was the one, all of that stuff. I told him that we could make the long distance work with love,trust and communication and that i supported %100 & would stay loyal & wait for him.

    After about 10 messages of heart filled words he responds with "hello?" He doesnt adress anything I said in the message. so I ask him if he will continue our relationship. He simply says this

    "look idk whats going to happen over here and if i end up with another girl cuz i get drunk then i would be cheating on you and then you would be hurt even more. just give being friends a chance and you'll see it's not that much different, trust me, it'll be better this way."

    I was so hurt after all I told him about how i would never cheat, he would rather have a one night stand then to have self control and keep me. I sent more messages after that but he ignored them all. I feel like such a fool this is the last thing i said to him


    "Nevermind, don't answer me. I'm not doing this anymore I'm done begging it's just dumb. I'm done. Im way too good for this."

    What should I do? I need advice? should i say something back or move on? I want him to realize that he truley is making a huge mistake, im a good girl.
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    Quote Originally Posted by CocoBro View Post
    Well I stumbled across this site during a google search and you guys seem so sweet and supportive so I feel comfertable discussing my problem to you all. I just turned 18yrs old and my(now ex) bf just turned 22. We have been dating on and off since september. Before my ex got deployed he was being so sweet & loving. He told me how he wanted to marry me & have babies & he would constanly tell me to pick out a ring. I was so excited, he was my first(took my virginity) and I loved him very much. About 3 days before he left he started to kind of ignore me & i was sad and confused. When he left, he completly ignored me. I sent him sweet messages, told him i loved him, but nothing.

    We can only communicate through Facebook because his phone wont work. I would send him like 6 message, he would look at them(FB tells you when they've been seen) but wouldn't reply. Then procedd to post statues like everything was ok. I was so hurt. I sent him a long message saying I loved him, i wanted to get married, he was the one, all of that stuff. I told him that we could make the long distance work with love,trust and communication and that i supported %100 & would stay loyal & wait for him.

    After about 10 messages of heart filled words he responds with "hello?" He doesnt adress anything I said in the message. so I ask him if he will continue our relationship. He simply says this

    "look idk whats going to happen over here and if i end up with another girl cuz i get drunk then i would be cheating on you and then you would be hurt even more. just give being friends a chance and you'll see it's not that much different, trust me, it'll be better this way."

    I was so hurt after all I told him about how i would never cheat, he would rather have a one night stand then to have self control and keep me. I sent more messages after that but he ignored them all. I feel like such a fool this is the last thing i said to him


    "Nevermind, don't answer me. I'm not doing this anymore I'm done begging it's just dumb. I'm done. Im way too good for this."

    What should I do? I need advice? should i say something back or move on? I want him to realize that he truley is making a huge mistake, im a good girl.
    What a load of bullcrap. He wants to be able to mess around and have a girlfriend waiting on him. Move on girl, move on.


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    I'm sorry, OP.

    Honestly, I think the best thing to do is to back off and focus on yourself and your own future. Live your life. Its going to be tough, you're heartbroken, but sometimes they pull away. It just happens out of nowhere. That coupled with the fact that maybe since being over there he's been tempted to cheat, he might not want to hurt you. I know he already has, he's kind of being insensitive in how he said things, but at least he realizes he could be tempted.

    Just give him space. Don't message him. He'll either come back or he won't. If he doesn't, you deserve better.

    Again,

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    Quote Originally Posted by briannanoel View Post
    What a load of bullcrap. He wants to be able to mess around and have a girlfriend waiting on him. Move on girl, move on.
    yeah briannanoel thats what I thought too, when he went off to bootcamp he did the same thing. He was really mean and ignored me.Told me then when he got back then MAYBE we can date again. But then came back a few months later begging to get back together and that he changed, ha. I guess not. He said that when he comes back this time then we can "continue our relationship"
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    Quote Originally Posted by CocoBro View Post
    yeah briannanoel thats what I thought too, when he went off to bootcamp he did the same thing. He was really mean and ignored me.Told me then when he got back then MAYBE we can date again. But then came back a few months later begging to get back together and that he changed, ha. I guess not. He said that when he comes back this time then we can "continue our relationship"
    This isn't the first time its happened? Yeah, leave and never look back. You are too good for that horse crap. Find someone who'll treat you right.

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    #6
    Move on

    be cool.
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    Quote Originally Posted by KateElizabeth View Post
    This isn't the first time its happened? Yeah, leave and never look back. You are too good for that horse crap. Find someone who'll treat you right.
    Thanks KateElizabeth, Im just sad you know? I was in love and im a sensitve person. I feel like if I was prettier/skinner/better/ect. he would want me
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    Quote Originally Posted by CocoBro View Post
    Thanks KateElizabeth, Im just sad you know? I was in love and im a sensitve person. I feel like if I was prettier/skinner/better/ect. he would want me
    Hell no. Don't even think that way! First of all, you're gorgeous. You're avi pic shows that. He's just an idiot, a loser that doesn't deserve you. Go ahead and be sad for a little while, but don't ever doubt yourself.

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    Quote Originally Posted by KateElizabeth View Post
    Hell no. Don't even think that way! First of all, you're gorgeous. You're avi pic shows that. He's just an idiot, a loser that doesn't deserve you. Go ahead and be sad for a little while, but don't ever doubt yourself.
    Thank you that makes me feel so much better
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    Leave and don't ever look back. He wants to bang other girls while hes away and have you waiting for him at home so he has a guaranteed fuck at home.

    I'm sorry, he's a real douchebag. And it has nothing to do with you, you're beautiful, he's just scum.
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