There's a problem with me going out..

[JD]

My boyfriend is a soldier, Infantry, so everyone knows how they are..

In any case, I don't know if it's a trust issue or that's just how he rolls.
He's in NTC in cali right now for training because he should be deploying in December..
Main point of my problem, he doesn't like for me to go out without him, or go places.. not like in a bad way, but he thinks there's a potential that other guys would be after me.. Now I dont focus on them, their not who im committed to. But when he calls me from NTC, sometimes, he sometimes asks me are they any guys at school that talk to me or anything of the sort, Im a college student full time, so he's pretty worried about that. He doesn't like for me to have guy friends but girl friends im okay, Now it used to be real bad months ago.. but ive been teaching him some lessons. But how can I assure him when he deploys that im going to school and that he needs to focus on his job and me and that he doesn't need to worry about whatever else. I love him and he loves me, and I'm deeply in love with him.. I never want to lose him.

[fallinstar]

I think he is just concerned that he is not with you, DB is in Iraq and he does the same basically , but he told me that he wants me to live my life while he's gone. That I will do but I find it hard to do things with out him sometime... He is just being a boy, just reasure him of your love , and thats what other boys do when someone is attractive.
I hope that helped some, not sure if that did or not!

[cleigh08]

Originally Posted by JD My boyfriend is a soldier, Infantry, so everyone knows how they are.. In any case, I don't know if it's a trust issue or that's just how he rolls. He's in NTC in cali right now for training because he should be deploying in December.. Main point of my problem, he doesn't like for me to go out without him, or go places.. not like in a bad way, but he thinks there's a potential that other guys would be after me.. Now I dont focus on them, their not who im committed to. But when he calls me from NTC, sometimes, he sometimes asks me are they any guys at school that talk to me or anything of the sort, Im a college student full time, so he's pretty worried about that. He doesn't like for me to have guy friends but girl friends im okay, Now it used to be real bad months ago.. but ive been teaching him some lessons. But how can I assure him when he deploys that im going to school and that he needs to focus on his job and me and that he doesn't need to worry about whatever else. I love him and he loves me, and I'm deeply in love with him.. I never want to lose him.

This sounds like a trust issue to me. If my DB told me I couldn't have guy friends I'd be like . I don't allow anyone to tell me who I can or can not be friends with or who I can/ can't talk to. Also- what did you mean by "you have been teaching him some lessons?" I'm glad that you are trying to work things out before the deployment because they are difficult enough without severe trust issues.

[JD]

Originally Posted by cleigh08 This sounds like a trust issue to me. If my DB told me I couldn't have guy friends I'd be like . I don't allow anyone to tell me who I can or can not be friends with or who I can/ can't talk to. Also- what did you mean by "you have been teaching him some lessons?" I'm glad that you are trying to work things out before the deployment because they are difficult enough without severe trust issues.

Well, I mean there were times that we would argue, like bad, but i told him that there's nobody here for me beside him, and he accepts it, but I think he's just insecure, im afraid of telling him that, because i don't wanna make an ocean out of a lake.

[BJo]

Him being infantry is irrelevant so I don't quite follow your stance of, "you know how they are." My husband is infantry and doesn't control my life like that.

As long as you're not behaving in a questionable manner he should realize that you are going to live a life even if he is deployed or training.

[JD]

Originally Posted by BJo Him being infantry is irrelevant so I don't quite follow your stance of, "you know how they are." My husband is infantry and doesn't control my life like that. As long as you're not behaving in a questionable manner he should realize that you are going to live a life even if he is deployed or training.

I mean, I do, he just doubts me, I never doubted him, He sometimes check my cellphone, it's outrageous, and If I dont give it to him, he automatically suspects something, so i just give it to him so he doesn't go in a corner and pout about it.

[cleigh08]

Originally Posted by BJo Him being infantry is irrelevant so I don't quite follow your stance of, "you know how they are." My husband is infantry and doesn't control my life like that. As long as you're not behaving in a questionable manner he should realize that you are going to live a life even if he is deployed or training.

I would sit down and calmly discuss your concerns/ his insecurities- especially regarding this "phone checking" behavior. That is extremely controlling. This sounds like an issue that can not resolve itself without discussion.

[nicoleclare]

Originally Posted by BJo Him being infantry is irrelevant so I don't quite follow your stance of, "you know how they are." My husband is infantry and doesn't control my life like that. As long as you're not behaving in a questionable manner he should realize that you are going to live a life even if he is deployed or training.

i was just about to say the same thing as the bolded. my best friend is infantry and he doesnt do this to his girlfriend. so its not because of his job. its an internal issue that you and him need to work out

[BJo]

Sounds like he has some huge control issues. Nip it in the bud before he deploys because it will be 10x worse than.

What does he expect you to do? Never leave your house? It's an outrageous demand and I highly doubt he would be ok with it if roles were reversed.

[Mrs.Nimkumpoop]

Originally Posted by JD I mean, I do, he just doubts me, I never doubted him, He sometimes check my cellphone, it's outrageous, and If I dont give it to him, he automatically suspects something, so i just give it to him so he doesn't go in a corner and pout about it.

Um, sorry, but hell no. I'm married and my husband doesn't invade my privacy like that. In all honestly, I could really care less if he looked in my phone, but if he just took it and started looking through it at random cause he thought something was up, and then threw a hissy fit cause I wouldn't let him look at it... uh no. If you don't have trust in your relationship, you don't have anything IMO

Anyway, I'm sorry that he's being like that. Have you tried talking to him about his trust issues, and why he might have them with you?