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| Deployment Support Groups An unofficial place for members to find others who are dealing with a deployment with the same command or to the same place. |
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08-17-2009, 07:27 PM
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#1 (permalink) |
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Member
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So Confused
I'm so confused and I don't want to talk to my friends and family about this because they just don't understand. My DB left for deployment about 5 weeks ago, the night he left we had a huge fight because he told me not to wait for him because it wasn't fair of him to do so. That night I sent him a long email telling him that I am waiting for him because I love him and it's not that easy to move on when you love someone like I love him. I didn't hear from him for about a week and then he started sending me little things on Facebook so I emailed him again and told him I was happy that he opened the line of communication but that I couldn't be friends with him. He emailed me again a few days later and said it had been awhile since he heard from me so I told him that if I had it my way I would email him everyday but that I was giving him the time he said he needed and he said that was ok to email him as much as I wanted.
Anyway, I emailed him the other day and told him that I missed him. Before he left he used to text me that he missed me all the time even if it had only been a day since we had seen each other. When he emailed me back he didn't tell me he missed me. He hasn't told me that since he left. I'm starting to take it personal but I want to give him the time he says he needs to figure things out and I know if I push too hard he will run away and that's the last thing I want to do. Any advice? |
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08-17-2009, 07:29 PM
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#2 (permalink) |
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Surviving Deployment #2
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Keep it light - and keep talking. See what happens when he gets home.
__________________
"There is always a way. When things look like there is no way, there is a way to do the impossible, to survive the impossible. There is always a way. If I can offer one piece of advice; today, if you become frightened, instead, become inspired." -Grey's Anatomy
  I  my wifeys Solstice and Mrs. Ninkumpoop! |
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08-17-2009, 07:31 PM
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#3 (permalink) |
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All you need is love and a smile!
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I cannot imagine this is would be easy on anyone. I would try and keep yourself busy. I'm not sure how long his deployment is but sitting and waiting on him will drive you crazy. Instead-go out with friends, work out or volunteer. Do things that you enjoy to do. This will help you ease your mind.
I hope everything works out for the best. Stay strong
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08-17-2009, 09:06 PM
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#4 (permalink) |
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Member
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I am trying to keep it light, it's hard at times though. I will be gone at least another 5 months won't know for another couple exactly how long. I don't even know where he is since his work is confidential. I'm trying to keep myself busy, it's hard to do all the time though. Thanks guys! My friends and family are tired of hearing it and they really don't understand.
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08-18-2009, 01:16 PM
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#5 (permalink) |
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Junior Member
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same problem
Hi...my husband is gone for anywhere between 6 months to 10 months and we had been blissfully happy and hadnt even had a fight in 4 months...then out of the blue we had a huge argument 6 weeks before he left and he said I was jealous and he couldnt take it anymore and wanted a separation...I wasnt saying anything that had anything to do with jealousy...he text me two weeks before he left tellilng me how much he loved me and missed my face...and he hadnt text me or saw me in 4 weeks..then on his birthday he came to see me..cuz I'm pregnant with our first and staying with his mom...so I hugged him goodbye and when I went to pull away he pulled me back to him and held me soo tight but wouldlnt say he loved me...he has been gone for almost three weeks now and I havent heard from him...but tons of other spouses on his ship have heard from their husbands...it sucks and I dont understand it either...it makes you wonder if there is someone else..even tho I dont think so...I just dont get it...he told me he was soooo stressed at work that I only added to his stress...so I am right there with you and am completely in the dark...and I havent sent him any emails or anything...the ball is in his court...but I tell you what...I'm not a doormat and will NOT wait forever...and he knows that...so I hope he comes back before its too late and I divorce him....and the only reason I'm staying semi calm is cuz I'm pregnant and need to be for the baby.
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08-20-2009, 10:13 AM
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#6 (permalink) |
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**it's only my screen name**
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I can relate! Mine was fine when he left, but then I got an email saying he was stressed and over whelmed and needed space.
And I responded to him and then gave him the space. And after 3 weeks I just heard from him this week. You can do this if you understand what he's dealing with and you believe the relationship is worth the fight. It is very hard and they deal with a ton of emotions and from what I hear they push those away that they love, it's just easier for them. I am going to PM you some info. HUGs Lori |
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08-22-2009, 07:58 PM
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#7 (permalink) | |
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Junior Member
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so..is everything ok with you guys now? Hopefully so...to give the rest of us some hope!!
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08-22-2009, 11:35 PM
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#8 (permalink) | |
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**it's only my screen name**
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I am keeping everything upbeat and I ask no questions. I just wanted him to feel like he can come to me and open up...which is what it seems like he is doing. I just focus on having faith...and I know he is worth it. PM me if you need to talk. Lori |
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08-23-2009, 05:13 PM
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#10 (permalink) | |
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**it's only my screen name**
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I don't recommend for any one to wait forever. I think you always have to take care of yourself too. Hope your situation gets better. |
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