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Thread: him not wanting to come home after a 15 month deployment

  1. hislilsnowbunny
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    Sad him not wanting to come home after a 15 month deployment

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    my bf found out that the gets 2 weeks of r&r somewhere durring his 15 month deployment like 2/3 the way threw well he called me yesterday and asked if i would be mad if he wanted to go see another country or something instead of coming back to the states and as a good gf i said no its fine with me its ur trip u should do what you want with it but all his friends are going back to see there gf theres also more to it dealing with a female marine which my family and friends thinki should end it if they go to the other country together but i wanna know is my bf the only one that does this? that wants to go to another country instead of seeing their gf???? aspecially since were getting engaged when he comes back
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    #2
    How serious are the two of you? I'd be quite angry if my DH had tried that when he was my DB.. As far as him going to another country with another female while he's in a relationship with you.. that wouldn't fly with me.

    Good luck!

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    #3
    ohhhh man.. that must have been really hard to hear. I would have to give my man a little piece of my mind.

    Maybe you should tell him how you really feel..

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    #4
    I would probably pissed that he wouldn't want to spend ANY of the time with me, maybe you can meet half way? and suggest maybe coming home and also going to a foregin country?
  5. hislilsnowbunny
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    Quote Originally Posted by goldenageskye View Post
    I would probably pissed that he wouldn't want to spend ANY of the time with me, maybe you can meet half way? and suggest maybe coming home and also going to a foregin country?
    well i was waiting for him to ask me to go cause he told me before he left to get a passport so i was hoping for him to ask but no :-/
  6. Happy little tree
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    #6
    Tell him how you honestly feel. A lot of times, guys don't even realize that they are upsetting us. They don't think the same way we do, so when you don't tell them the whole truth, they are completely unaware. Tell him how you really feel. Tell him you really want to see him, or see if you can go with him.

    Him going with another female instead of his girlfriend is NOT ok

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    #7
    Um, yeah. That would piss me off. Why would he want to go see another country when he's been away from you for so long? Why not wait to go see another country WITH you AFTER the deployment. And going with another girl? HELL no. That is not cool.
    ~Jessie~

  8. hislilsnowbunny
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    Quote Originally Posted by goldenageskye View Post
    I would probably pissed that he wouldn't want to spend ANY of the time with me, maybe you can meet half way? and suggest maybe coming home and also going to a foregin country?
    Quote Originally Posted by MelissaMc424 View Post
    How serious are the two of you? I'd be quite angry if my DH had tried that when he was my DB.. As far as him going to another country with another female while he's in a relationship with you.. that wouldn't fly with me.

    Good luck!
    were very serious we plan on getting married when i get out of college and starting a family we even have our house and everything planned out :-/ i dont knwo what to say to him i wrote him and told him that i didnt care if he went to another country but if he went with her even if it was a group with any girls i would be pissed

    my best friend thinks hes gonna come home and supprise me hes done it before but like a week early before christmas when i thought we werent gonna be able to spend christmas together and he came to my work i beat him up big time for it but ya :-/ hes so hard to tell cause he doesnt know how to have a gf because his exs never cared and always cheated on him as soon as he would leave and im just grrrrrrrrrrrrrr lol
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    #9
    It's all very well saying it's okay with you, but if you don't actually mean it's okay with you, you're giving him mixed signals. I would tell him straight up that you are upset and a bit disappointed that he doesn't want to come back and see you, particularly if he's choosing to spend his R&R with another female person. Respecting his decision and being okay with it are two very different things.

    I would also ask him why he wants to do that rather than come home. At the end of the day, R&R is for him, not you, so whatever helps him relax is what he should do, but still you'd think he'd want you to come as well.

    I say talk to him and let him know how you actually feel. If you're in a military relationship you have to learn to be blunt sometimes. If you say it's okay and he goes off and does it, then you flip out, it's only your own fault because you gave him the okay. KWIM? This is a theme that will follow you throughout his career in the military, so you need to learn how to say what you feel calmly and without getting offensive or defensive. That way you're both on the same page all the time.
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    #10
    ooooh i would be pissed!

    but you need to tell him how you feel about it. i know i sure as hell would tell my df how i felt about it if he pulled some shit like that!
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