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Thread: Fisrt Deployment.. marriage??

  1. Senior Member
    idratherbehiking's Avatar
    idratherbehiking is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by Taylor_ View Post
    Hey guys! So my boyfriend goes on deployment pretty soon and I don't know what to expect.. He is coming home for two weeks soon and then will be leaving for deployment. I'm a college student attending the college in the town we grew up in and he is stationed all the way across the country from me. So we are long distance and will be for a long time. I guess the biggest thing on my mind is marriage.. He said the money would be a lot better and that he would put it in a separate account and we would use it to buy a house in a few years. We've been together for a year right now. I wouldn't think twice about this if we were guaranteed to stay together, but life happens..
    I don't have any doubts, I really do think we will stay together, but there's always the "what if" because you never know what you will go through.. Just a little advice from any of you who has gotten married like that? And young? (We are 18 and 19) While still being distance for a while after? Or maybe had the chance to and chose not to? Sorry this is so long! Thanks guys
    I was engaged at 18. We spent 1 year long distance due to the military, then got married at 19. We are technically the exception to the rule considering we are approaching our 10 year wedding anniversary. HOWEVER, if I had the chance to do it over again I would have waited. All the things you mentioned were incentives to rush our marriage. But they are not good reasons.

    The first few years are hard. You go from relying on your parents to relying on each other. But, since neither of you have truly experienced adulthood, you're going to have to learn and grow together. That's not easy.

    Just wait, at least until you finish college. My first base was in the middle of nowhere. The closest 4 year school was over 2 hours away. The town existed solely on the military, and getting retail or fast food jobs was a challenge. Add that to the fact that all your family and friends are on the other side of the country. Military life isn't as romantic as the movies make it seem.

    Just wait.

  2. Senior Member
    PaUSMC's Avatar
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    No, just wait. For all of the reasons everyone else has said. You will be giving your relationship a better chance if you focus on school and don't rush to get married before he deploys. A few grand in the bank is not worth all of the potential logistical, family, and emotional issues. If he is the right one for you he will still be right next year or when you finish school.
  3. Fresh Newbie
    Taylor_'s Avatar
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    Thank you everyone.. When it's your life you have decisions you want to make but shouldn't and it's hard to see when it's yourself if that makes sense. I used to think couples that get married young in the military are crazy.. but when you're the one who is in that position, love clouds your judgment. Thanks so much to everyone!
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