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Thread: He broke up with me and now he wants to get back together

  1. we were all rooting for you
    KittenMittens's Avatar
    KittenMittens is offline
    we were all rooting for you
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    Dec 2013
    Quote Originally Posted by KateeFIT View Post
    I guess i just feel like if this is the end he is going to have such a hard time during deployment and i just want him to be safe and his best self for deployment. I know must put myself first but i care for him so much. I guess this is just happened for a reason. I guess this is just the time to let go. I wish he would just compromise with me but he says ill be "dangling him on a string and ill be free to do what i want here but he won't have any freedom" He should be lucky that I'm even talking to him and trying to meet in the middle but he doesn't want it, its his way or we are completely over.
    First, his line about not having any freedom? Yeah, total bullshit. Just because he's deployed doesn't mean he's on lockdown 24/7. Sure, life will be different for him but that line isn't fair to use. It is fair to want him to be his best self during deployment, but that's not on you. Trust me, my ex did the same. exact. thing. and ended up losing 30+ lbs, apologizing to me, and growing tf up when he deployed because he realized that he was bringing all the negativity on himself. Dumping me and ending our relationship was the push he needed to grow up. It was difficult (I felt exactly how you do now) but necessary for both of us.

    Second, don't worry about how he's feeling or dealing or if he's having a hard time. This is all his doing. He chose the way he treated you, he chose his words when he said he didn't love you, and he is the one who will be missing out on a great girl and a loving relationship. You're not "dangling him on a string" by letting go of him, you're moving on and when you're ready, you'll find something so much better. with someone who will treat you so much better. It'll make this relationship disappear from your memory.

  2. Senior Member
    bdizzle's Avatar
    bdizzle is offline
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    Sep 2011
    ^ agree. I don't know what his job is or where he's going, but some of the big bases even in Afghanistan have shit to do, and things like Pizza Hut and whatever. They're not on total lockdown. He'll be fine.

  3. Senior Member
    Medic2Doula's Avatar
    Medic2Doula is offline
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    Mar 2017
    San Diego, CA
    Quote Originally Posted by KateeFIT View Post
    He has been jealous over little things and over this winter break he almost broke up with me because for my bday i went to a bar with friends and left out the fact that the bar was a 70's porn themed. He found out and got so upset, made me feel horrible.
    this is a red flag to me.... protect yourself.
  4. d12
    The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
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    The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
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    Apr 2015
    Quote Originally Posted by KateeFIT View Post
    I want there to be a settled middle ground, I want to be there for him during his deployment but i can't commit to giving him my heart because he just broke it. He had a moment of confusion and made this rash decision, and i feel like i am allowed to have a moment of confusion too. I told him how i feel and and he says "i can't go on deployment knowing you might be with other guys and were not a couple, it'll mess up my emotions" But he broke up with me so i am trying to be fair, make a compromise. I need time to process all my emotions and what I'm feeling cause I'm feeling so much.
    I noticed that he did NOT say "I can't go on deployment knowing that I messed things up with the person I love". Instead he just admitted that he is only thinking of himself...not you or your emotions.
    I think he just showed you his true colors.

    Coming from someone who let a guy continue to use and manipulate me for 2 years before current DB...girl, run. He gave you an out and you really should consider taking it.
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