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Thread: What to Expect?

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    #1

    What to Expect?

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    What should I expect when my boyfriend comes home later this year after his deployment is over? Will his personality change significantly. I can imagine things will change. He is deploying to Iraq and this is his and our first deployment. Any advice is very much appreciated along with comments. Thank you very much!
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    #2
    It depends on lots of things like his personality, his job, whether or not he sees combat, etc. It's just completely different for each person and it's hard to say. My DH hasn't had any issues from deployments but I know others who have.
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    #3
    Exactly what missinghim said.

    It depends on his job. My husband's first deployment was to Iraq (we were just friends then). This was ten years ago and they got mortared multiple times a day, every day. He came home and couldn't do big crowds and cars backfiring would alarm him. In his case, all it took was time and he got better. He's been on four other deployments since then, two of which were back in Iraq and he hasn't had any of his previous issues when he came home. His 6th deployment is coming far faster than I'd like.

    As far as coping during deployment, my advice is to keep yourself busy doing things you love. Get new hobbies, read some books, etc. Make some goals and crush them. I've noticed that once you get settled into a routine, the faster it goes. When he comes home, just be there for him if he needs you.

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    #4
    Things can change but it's really hard to say. Even their expectations can be different than what actually happens when they get back.

    After DH returned from Afghanistan he was really culture shocked, and it took a long time for him to adjust to being around so many people and even things like being in traffic. He had all these plans about traveling, meeting up with friends etc and those got put on hold while he got more comfortable settling in. Basically being flexible is the best thing you can do.

    One thing I have heard DH and other veterans say though is that some people have a tendency to want to tie everything to deployment or armchair diagnose them and he gets really resentful when people do that. He would say over and over again not everything's related to deployment, sometimes he really is just tired or just having a day when his temper is shorter than usual or whatever and he didn't like it when people would try to tie to his PTSD or deployment.
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    #5
    Thank you all so much for your comments and advice! This has helped me relax, as much as I can.

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