Here we go

[Sarahcuda]

Originally Posted by JCH0724 Today was the last day that I brought up my side of this situation to DB. He didn't have any response to me communicating that I needed him too, other than, "I know, I'm sorry, and I don't want to be unfair to you." I know that is not his usual self because any other time (without a stressor as big as deployment in front of us) he would have told me that he loves me and is there for me. I guess that this is my time to be there for him and I will be. I don't think he can be there for me (at least not right now) because he seems to have enough on his hands trying to cope on his own. He doesn't seem to want to talk about anything 'emotionally charged' and understandably so, but is also still talking to me on a lighter note. I know this is a difficult time for him so I will also give him his space. I am not walking away from him; I promised that to him before he started withdrawing. He also told me how much he cared about me and that I have a special place in his heart (before he started withdrawing). I just miss my DB being his usual loving and caring self but I understand this is what he needs to do. I'm not sure if I have any SO's in my area. How would I go about finding that out? At this time, I have only two close friends that I talk to in person about what I'm going through.

It sounds like you're really figuring it out. It takes a while for it to feel easier, when your routine goes back to "normal" after they're in the sandbox, but it will. I never missed DB any less, but it just got easier to deal with, especially when things started getting busier here and were a distraction.

I think it depends on your DB's branch. For the army, I think there are some accept girlfriends and fiancees, and in the Air Force, it helps to get in touch with the squadron commander's wife,etc. I'm not sure about the other branches, though. If you're near his base/post/etc., you might be able to meet up with the SOs of his buddies, or something like that.

[JCH0724]

Thank you all for your advice and hugs I wrote a long message back to all of you but my browser refused to submit it or reload the page...so I typed out as much as I could remember from my original post.

MS234755, no hard feelings, I understand that you were only trying to give sound advice.

I do hope that DB comes around when he settles into the sandbox. I know that he loves me and his feelings haven't changed but I did not know how to cope with his emotional detachment and being there for him at the same time. He hardly talks to me (we only text now) but is definitely still around; I'm sure this is difficult for him as well. I have just given him a lot of space and reassurance. He told me not to worry, that he'll call before he leaves.

I was so distraught as to how to handle this new chapter of our lives, so I spoke to a counselor at school. Turns out, she has background experience working with military members and their loved ones. I am very grateful for what she had to say as well as what you ladies had to say.

I do feel very emotional because it is a change. However, I am working on being more positive.

I'm not familiar with any resource I can make use of. DB is currently based thousands of miles away from me so I am only an acquaintance of one of his marine friends while I have only heard of the rest. I have spoken to my friends here at home about it and they have been very supportive. However, I do not know anyone that I can speak to in person who have or are going through a deployment with their loved one.

Oh and