Question for Wives who have small children.

[Kat A Strophic]

Our daughter is due 3 Jan. My husband will be here for that (thank God) He will be deployed when she is 4-5 months old and will come back when she is 10-11months old. I know when I was younger and dad went on deployment,my mom said I was very apprehensive about hugging him and stuff like that when he returned. I don't want that to happen to my husband with our daughter. I know it's jumping the gun here ( me having not even given birth yet) But I figured that this would be the best place to ask for advise on the matter. I'm just scared she wont remember him,and be scared of him or something.

[Adriannelrh]

DH got a Build-A-Bear with a recording... DS may not remembers DH's face, but he knows the voice.

[Germanchick]

Check out the Kids coping with deployments section. You should be able to find some more ideas there as well

[dollface]

Those hug a hero daddy dolls are a fantastic idea AND they have a voicebox you can use to record his voice. Showing yor infant his picture several times per day is good but I think a lot of people forget to let them hear his voice. Babies are very in tune with voices (since their eyesite isn't the greatest when they are infants). Have him record himself reading a few children's books. She may not understand what he is saying but she will hear his voice. Be prepared though...and have your dh prepare for a little hesitation from her because its just natural and will probably happen. If he prepares himself for it, it won't be such a shocker. Its natural and normal and she will come around within a day or two or several weeks. Good luck my dear.

www.hugahero.com

[Idony]

imo, its inevitable for a child that young to be apprehencive about daddy comeing back. Dh's first deployment was when DD was 6 weeks old, he got back when she was 7 months. I made a point to show her his picture daily, plus he was in bahrain so he could call often. I took his picture with my camera phone and set it up to show his picture every time he called. I would put him on speaker every time, so she could see his picture and hear his voice together. I tried everything i could think of.

None of it worked. She is a very calm, go with the flow type kid so she wasnt hystarical around him or anything. She would not be left alone with him at all, i always had to be in the room or she would whine. After they first couple days of her "observing" him from a distance she warmed up and he could hold her and she was giving hugs and kisses.

I think it depends more on your kids temperment and how things go when he gets home that have more of an impact on how things turn out.

[*Kim*]

Before DH left we made a ton of videos of him reading several books singing songs and saying ABC and 123. Those seemed to help a lot.

[Rizzle Mizzle]

I really feel like there is nothing you can do at that age. You can record videos of him, buy the Daddy Dolls and do all of that. But, little kids just don't understand, and they forget. The good news is, is that they adapt very easily, and once he gets back home and is around for a week or so, things get better.

It really is inevitable that they will forget and be standoffish when he returns home. But, it gets better, and it usually doesn't take long.

[CCArmyWife]

I made a picture book all about Daddy. Every time my husband called, he tried to talk to DS through the phone even though he couldn't talk yet When my husband got home, I had purchased a horse stuffed animal, just for him to give to DS. DS LOVES stuffed animals and horseys, so it worked out well. He still wanted me for important things, like bed time, but he wasn't scared of his daddy or anything.

[bigsismt]

Originally Posted by Rizzle Mizzle I really feel like there is nothing you can do at that age. You can record videos of him, buy the Daddy Dolls and do all of that. But, little kids just don't understand, and they forget. The good news is, is that they adapt very easily, and once he gets back home and is around for a week or so, things get better. It really is inevitable that they will forget and be standoffish when he returns home. But, it gets better, and it usually doesn't take long.

This is what my 1 yr old son when through. He just plain forgot but I still had tons of pictures of dad around the house and we talked about him and told stories about him etc. When dad did get back it took my son a little time to warm up to dad. But when my son saw how loving dad was to me and wanted to spend time with him he realized ok, yeah, i remember this guy and he loves me and this dad guy is super cool.
I think in circumstances where dad is gone for long periods and comes back it can be harder on dad then kid. Kids bounce back so quickly from things.

[FuzzyToaster]

i have heard of people making like 8x10 photos and laminating them and giving them to the child to play with.