Marriage before Deployment

[IndyGirl]

I was just curious to know if you know someone, or if you yourself have gotten married right before a deployment? I know a lot of people are against the idea of just getting married because of that, but I feel it's a great way of reassuring your guy that you'll always be there for them and you truly love them.....any thoughts?

[Mrz. Robinson]

I agree wih you I got married after but I have known of people to do it b4 so it will let them know that no matter what they were always the one thwy wanted to spend the rest of their life with

[lil_sarah88]

tbh im not agaisnt it, and i think its cute, but you also know if its right for you. Like if you had plans about getting married or you knew/know hes the guy for you then its completely ok to do it. Many people marry just before deployment for many reasons. Plus you wanna and maybe need to be with your guy. Plus waking up next to him every day would be heaven for me

[candypants]

We got married after and IMO I don't think you should get married just to reassure your man that you'll be there when he returns. He should be confident enough in your relationship to know that you don't HAVE to get married just to show him you'll always be around. Marriage is a huge step and takes a lot of work. It's easy to get caught up in the fairytale without realizing how difficult it can sometimes be, especially if you'll be spending the first year of your marriage apart. I'm not saying this is true for all couples, but just something to think about.

[lil_sarah88]

Originally Posted by candypants We got married after and IMO I don't think you should get married just to reassure your man that you'll be there when he returns. He should be confident enough in your relationship to know that you don't HAVE to get married just to show him you'll always be around. Marriage is a huge step and takes a lot of work. It's easy to get caught up in the fairytale without realizing how difficult it can sometimes be, especially if you'll be spending the first year of your marriage apart. I'm not saying this is true for all couples, but just something to think about.

i agree with this t, really im just sitting on the fence, but i do agree he should know that your commited married or not, but like i said before every1 has there own reasons for getting married just before deployment eg. one my friends found out his gf was preg but he was going to be deployed 2months after baby was born so decieded to get married - they were planning to get married in a few years but they wernt engaged just because this is what was best for them. I think you need to look at the individual cases and not just assume situations

[pinknpretty4564]

Hey OP, just so you know... you are not supposed to start the same thread in different parts of the site. it gets really confusing for people to answer!

but this is what i posted in the other thread:
you should not get married simply to reassure him. wives can cheat just as easily as fiancees and girlfriends.
you should only get married if it is the right step in your relationship. if you love eachother and you want to get married then go for it. but do it for the right reasons, not merely because he's deploying and you dont want him to worry about the relationship while he is gone.


Dh and I got married a month before he deployed. We had already been engaged for 7 months and we were planning a wedding for december of this year. Alot of things happend, switching units and just a whole big mess and he ended up getting orders to deploy in August. Rather than waiting, we got married. But that was right for us. And we had already decided to get married deployment or no deployment.
Do what is right for you and your relationship. But take all things into consideration, not just the upcoming deployment.

[Streif-wife]

we got married a month before deployment training... we wanted/planned a larger wedding later that summer but obviously he wasnt going to be able to attend. We had ended up having a vegas wedding

[candypants]

Originally Posted by lil_sarah88 i agree with this t, really im just sitting on the fence, but i do agree he should know that your commited married or not, but like i said before every1 has there own reasons for getting married just before deployment eg. one my friends found out his gf was preg but he was going to be deployed 2months after baby was born so decieded to get married - they were planning to get married in a few years but they wernt engaged just because this is what was best for them. I think you need to look at the individual cases and not just assume situations

I wasn't assuming anything. The way the OP worded it, it made it seem like they were wanting to get married to reassure her man that she'd still be there when he got home. It's my opinion that that shouldn't take a marriage to show him. KWIM? If you want to get married before a deployment, that's your choice. I don't necessarily always think that's a bad thing, but for the reasons she stated, it didn't seem like a valid reason to me.

[beachk]

Originally Posted by candypants We got married after and IMO I don't think you should get married just to reassure your man that you'll be there when he returns. He should be confident enough in your relationship to know that you don't HAVE to get married just to show him you'll always be around. Marriage is a huge step and takes a lot of work. It's easy to get caught up in the fairytale without realizing how difficult it can sometimes be, especially if you'll be spending the first year of your marriage apart. I'm not saying this is true for all couples, but just something to think about.

i agree with all of this. especially that he should be confident enough to know you'll be there for him regardless of whether or not you get married first.

money should never be part of the decision. i'm not saying you even thought about that, but some people do marry for the $$ while they're deployed.

and, like candypants hinted, do you want to spend your first 6months-year of your marriage apart?

[lil_sarah88]

Originally Posted by candypants I wasn't assuming anything. The way the OP worded it, it made it seem like they were wanting to get married to reassure her man that she'd still be there when he got home. It's my opinion that that shouldn't take a marriage to show him. KWIM? If you want to get married before a deployment, that's your choice. I don't necessarily always think that's a bad thing, but for the reasons she stated, it didn't seem like a valid reason to me.

sory i completely respect your opinion, and re reading it back what i said wasnt an opiniion to what was being mentioned! i agree that you shouldnt marry a guy for reassurement. i think just being with them and supporting them is enough, yes times are hard but being a military girlfriend you knew that when you came into it, SOrry i dont think ive explained myself to well!!