Problems starting to adjust...help?

[Lauren1]

'm having some problems adjusting to DF preparing to be gone, and its really starting to kinda wear on me, especially when hes gone over the drill weekends because thats pretty much how I see the deployment and the time that hes gone from December to March as being. I don't talk to him too much when hes gone on drill and we're so busy when hes home that we don't spend a lot of "quality time" together as we used to. I know hes got a ton on his mind and I can see it starting to affect him when hes at home. I mean, don't get me wrong we have dinner together and everything but he always seems kind of distant..like hes got other things on his mind, and for good reason.

I tried talking with him about how I'm feeling but he doesn't see a problem. He says he realizes that hes busy and that he will have a lot on his plate but that he doesn't see a problem with us. I guess while I think that he should be focusing more on me, he doesn't see us as having a problem, and we don't for the most part, so he figures that I'll be fine. In all reality I will be fine when he goes over, I'm just not sure how I'm going to be fine. I know that sounds kinda dramatic or whatever but I'm really not sure...I've always needed a lot of attention from DF and he knows that, has known that from the beginning but I guess I'm just not sure what I should do with the time I've got with him. I'm trying to explain to him that I think that we could work more on our relationship and making it better before he goes overseas, but he is stuck in the place of "how do I give equal amounts to the army, job and you at the same time"

I guess I'm just not sure what to do...I just feel really lonely and I'm not sure how to handle that. I've never really been away from him before and while I've got family here, I don't really have a lot of friends that I can depend on for support. Its just really stressful and kind of depressing and I'm not sure if the feelings I'm having are normal feelings or just me being over stressful to him. I'm really not trying to be and I'm trying to support him but how can I be happy when he is so caught up in the Army?

I'm just really overwhelmed and confused...half the time I think that I just shouldn't bring it up because I don't even know what I feel half the time. I'm not sure if this is making any sense or not but I just need some kind of advice if you don't mind...

[mraynee88]

Those feelings ARE normal. The hardest part is pre-deployment. Just try and keep busy, spend as much time as you can (without focusing it on how much you're going to miss each other) and you'll be okay.

[Lauren1]

Should I try and talk to him about how I'm feeling? Its like every time I do it seems like I overwhelm him and I'm just not sure its worth it but I don't want to keep my feelings inside, either...

:o/

[beachk]

i just pm'ed you

[Lauren1]

thank you!! That was a fantastic help... :o)