advice, opinions, suggestions...something! - Deployment Preparation

mccarthy · 09-23-2009, 05:27 PM

Hey guys,

I wasn't really sure where to post this. I thought either in "vents" or "deployments" soooo....I apologize if it's wrong.

I need advice, opinions, suggestions...something! My bf deploys in Dec. (It's the first one for us) and here lately he has been so moody and on my case. I feel like I can't do anything right or do anything to make him happy. I've asked him about it and he tells me everything is fine but it's a little hard to believe when he's jumping down my throat. I don't nag him about it bc he is private about his feelings and he'll clam up if I push the issue.

I really don't know what to do or how to approach the situation anymore but him jumping on my case is getting old. HELP!!!

rad sugar · 09-23-2009, 05:33 PM

hmm... december is still a few months away. honestly, enjoy the time y'all have together and just take everything as it comes. deployments seem a lot scarier before they happen then when you're actually going through it.

just make sure you get on the same page about expectations, communication styles, things he may want you to send him - and things he doesn't want you to send.

you'll be able to feel your way through what will and won't work for you as a couple... and read through some of the deployment threads to get a feel for common things to expect.

Lauren1 · 09-23-2009, 05:54 PM

I completely understand your situation! Its hard for them especially when they're about to deploy. They might be busy or worried or whatever and most of the time don't show it. I suggest to set a long term goal for yourself and surround yourself with people. Someone told me today that support doesn't necessarily have to come from the army. They're right since my fiancee's family readiness group isn't doing ANYTHING for me and its hard b/c I live 8 hours away and cannot get to their FRG meetings. Do things for you and split up the time. Buy a calendar and instead of marking down "365 days to go" mark down "13 days down" since it sounds more positive :o)

mccarthy · 09-24-2009, 11:38 AM

Communication!!!? Yikes!

...No seriously...Thanks ladies! I really appreciate the advice.

sconk · 09-25-2009, 10:50 AM

Yea DF gets the same way too! They are really busy trying to get stuff done before deployment and stuff. Also if this is your DB's first he don't know what to expect which is weighing on his mind. His attitude is nothing personal to you he just is trying to deal with everything going on for him and you right now. Keep showing your love and suppirt and everything will be ok.

09-23-2009, 05:27 PM	#1 (permalink)
mccarthy Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Ft. Stewart, GA Posts: 52 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 2% Longevity: 23%	advice, opinions, suggestions...something! Hey guys, I wasn't really sure where to post this. I thought either in "vents" or "deployments" soooo....I apologize if it's wrong. I need advice, opinions, suggestions...something! My bf deploys in Dec. (It's the first one for us) and here lately he has been so moody and on my case. I feel like I can't do anything right or do anything to make him happy. I've asked him about it and he tells me everything is fine but it's a little hard to believe when he's jumping down my throat. I don't nag him about it bc he is private about his feelings and he'll clam up if I push the issue. I really don't know what to do or how to approach the situation anymore but him jumping on my case is getting old. HELP!!!

09-23-2009, 05:33 PM	#2 (permalink)
rad sugar deployment one is so done! Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: me: bfe, florida. him: k-bay, hawaii. Posts: 7,061 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 54% Longevity: 14%	hmm... december is still a few months away. honestly, enjoy the time y'all have together and just take everything as it comes. deployments seem a lot scarier before they happen then when you're actually going through it. just make sure you get on the same page about expectations, communication styles, things he may want you to send him - and things he doesn't want you to send. you'll be able to feel your way through what will and won't work for you as a couple... and read through some of the deployment threads to get a feel for common things to expect. __________________

09-23-2009, 05:54 PM	#3 (permalink)
Lauren1 Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Fredericksburg, Virginia Posts: 82 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 14%	I completely understand your situation! Its hard for them especially when they're about to deploy. They might be busy or worried or whatever and most of the time don't show it. I suggest to set a long term goal for yourself and surround yourself with people. Someone told me today that support doesn't necessarily have to come from the army. They're right since my fiancee's family readiness group isn't doing ANYTHING for me and its hard b/c I live 8 hours away and cannot get to their FRG meetings. Do things for you and split up the time. Buy a calendar and instead of marking down "365 days to go" mark down "13 days down" since it sounds more positive :o) __________________ Lauren

09-25-2009, 10:50 AM	#5 (permalink)
sconk engaged to my hero Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Cherry Point Posts: 942 Blog Entries: 1 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 79% Longevity: 16%	Yea DF gets the same way too! They are really busy trying to get stuff done before deployment and stuff. Also if this is your DB's first he don't know what to expect which is weighing on his mind. His attitude is nothing personal to you he just is trying to deal with everything going on for him and you right now. Keep showing your love and suppirt and everything will be ok. __________________

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09-24-2009, 11:38 AM	#4 (permalink)
mccarthy Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Ft. Stewart, GA Posts: 52 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 2% Longevity: 23%	Communication!!!? Yikes! ...No seriously...Thanks ladies! I really appreciate the advice.