I hate break downs - pls help me get back up! - Deployment Preparation

promise078 · 12-08-2008, 11:08 AM

I just got home (Toronto) last night from NC after spending 2 weeks with DB. We have been on a long distance relationship for 4 years now (met each other in HS). Mutually decided to wait on marriage because I just finished my BScN and I am now working here and he is stationed in NC and is deploying next week.

Right now I feel like a total mess. Ive been having break downs on and off. I was used to having him around me and when I woke up this morning realizing I am alone in bed...I just started crying like a baby. The emotions of separating (physically) is still fresh and I know I can still see him online and talk to him on the phone...but I am getting nervous for when he actually leaves next week, that would mean I would have to start at square one after building up myself this week. We talked about coping strategies already but I could not put them into action at the moment. I am crying as I write this...I tried to talk to my aunt, who I live with, awhile ago...she told me to stay positive and pray then left to take a shower. I went back to my room and started this...I feel like I need more...I just dont know what to do at this time! - any advice?

kef210 · 12-08-2008, 11:14 AM

sometimes you need the breakdown. sometimes, the only way to fix it is to just cry and wallow in it. not everything can be fixed when it comes to these things.

just cry girl, get it off your chest. while you can, tell your DB how much you care about him.

youll figure out your own way of dealing with things.

sorry i cant offer a solution

~~BJo~~ · 12-08-2008, 11:15 AM

It's ok to feel that way. You are allowed to have a break down. You just have to pick yourself up in your own due time.

Germanchick · 12-08-2008, 11:17 AM

It is okay and normal to feel this way from time to time. Especially right after spending time together.

Give yourself some time to be sad and upset and then pick yourself back up. You can do this!

HIS~ANGEL · 12-08-2008, 11:20 AM

Just let it out

you will be strong enough to get through it..

cheerup and enjoy the time you have together

CharliesAngel · 12-08-2008, 11:22 AM

agree with all the other girls, just let it out. Keep yourself busy! go out and find new hobbies, Of course thats all easier said then done! it will be ok i promise!

KatieLynn · 12-08-2008, 11:43 AM

Yep! You just need to have a good, hard, long cry... and then tell yourself that you are NOT going to let this get you down, and that you will see him soon, pick yourself up, and keep on goin' like the strong woman you are!

promise078 · 12-08-2008, 12:14 PM

Thanks for all the support ladies. I know I will be fine...a stretch 2 day and 2 night of 12 hr work starting tomorrow will kick me back up on my heels. I had a break from work for 2 weeks so having to go back and work fulltime again will keep me busy. I bought a lot of books to read, plan to start that cross-stitch my mom got me, plan to meet new people (from this site and here because I just moved), lose the wt I gained from the past two weeks...and hopefully by the time I look at my calendar...it is time for RnR.

It is just the "right now" "at this moment" - Im feeling helpless and alone...Im crying it all out today and I know there will be days where I will break down again...but with you guys...I know I can get back up!

emily_kate_8 · 12-08-2008, 12:25 PM

the only thing i have found to work is to do things to occupy my mind.

jessesq1 · 12-08-2008, 01:37 PM

I think the worst part of breakdowns is that I never know when they will come, but I do know they will come eventually. I can be totally fine and happy and then feel like I am having a total panic attack. Like everyone says, keep busy. I've found if I focus on work, I barely look up, and the day is over! And on the weekends, I try to focus on friends and family and having fun. At least it seems like the breakdowns are quicker and less frequent now.

12-08-2008, 11:08 AM	#1 (permalink)
promise078 Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Toronto, Ontario / Iraq Posts: 189 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 21%	I hate break downs - pls help me get back up! I just got home (Toronto) last night from NC after spending 2 weeks with DB. We have been on a long distance relationship for 4 years now (met each other in HS). Mutually decided to wait on marriage because I just finished my BScN and I am now working here and he is stationed in NC and is deploying next week. Right now I feel like a total mess. Ive been having break downs on and off. I was used to having him around me and when I woke up this morning realizing I am alone in bed...I just started crying like a baby. The emotions of separating (physically) is still fresh and I know I can still see him online and talk to him on the phone...but I am getting nervous for when he actually leaves next week, that would mean I would have to start at square one after building up myself this week. We talked about coping strategies already but I could not put them into action at the moment. I am crying as I write this...I tried to talk to my aunt, who I live with, awhile ago...she told me to stay positive and pray then left to take a shower. I went back to my room and started this...I feel like I need more...I just dont know what to do at this time! - any advice?

12-08-2008, 11:14 AM	#2 (permalink)
kef210 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: camp lejeune Posts: 2,041 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 24%	sometimes you need the breakdown. sometimes, the only way to fix it is to just cry and wallow in it. not everything can be fixed when it comes to these things. just cry girl, get it off your chest. while you can, tell your DB how much you care about him. youll figure out your own way of dealing with things. sorry i cant offer a solution __________________ no one will know me now because my siggy is gone "The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step, and a lot of ***ing."-Unknown hes home**

12-08-2008, 11:17 AM	#4 (permalink)
Germanchick Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 36,788 Blog Entries: 4 Classifieds: (3) Activity: 2% Longevity: 94%	It is okay and normal to feel this way from time to time. Especially right after spending time together. Give yourself some time to be sad and upset and then pick yourself back up. You can do this! __________________ An unconditional right to say what one pleases about public affairs is what I consider to be the minimum guarantee of the First Amendment.

12-08-2008, 11:20 AM	#5 (permalink)
HIS~ANGEL ILOVEDONNIE Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Fort Knox Basic Training/Fort Leonard Wood AIT/Currently Fort Carson Colorado Posts: 183 Blog Entries: 3 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 22%	Just let it out you will be strong enough to get through it.. cheerup and enjoy the time you have together __________________ [CENTER]

12-08-2008, 12:25 PM	#9 (permalink)
emily_kate_8 Fortitude: the strentgh to persist; the courage to endure Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Me: Maryland, United States Him: Japan Posts: 229 Blog Entries: 1 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 20%	the only thing i have found to work is to do things to occupy my mind. __________________ "All I can say is I Love You with everything I have and then some." -DB

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12-08-2008, 11:15 AM	#3 (permalink)
~~BJo~~ Banned Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Your mom Posts: 25,358 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 43%	It's ok to feel that way. You are allowed to have a break down. You just have to pick yourself up in your own due time.

12-08-2008, 11:22 AM	#6 (permalink)
CharliesAngel Stupid shiney volvo owner Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Ft. Benning Ga Posts: 1,209 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 21%	agree with all the other girls, just let it out. Keep yourself busy! go out and find new hobbies, Of course thats all easier said then done! it will be ok i promise!

12-08-2008, 11:43 AM	#7 (permalink)
KatieLynn Loving Life! Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Kansas Posts: 1,027 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 23%	Yep! You just need to have a good, hard, long cry... and then tell yourself that you are NOT going to let this get you down, and that you will see him soon, pick yourself up, and keep on goin' like the strong woman you are!

12-08-2008, 12:14 PM	#8 (permalink)
promise078 Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Toronto, Ontario / Iraq Posts: 189 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 21%	Thanks for all the support ladies. I know I will be fine...a stretch 2 day and 2 night of 12 hr work starting tomorrow will kick me back up on my heels. I had a break from work for 2 weeks so having to go back and work fulltime again will keep me busy. I bought a lot of books to read, plan to start that cross-stitch my mom got me, plan to meet new people (from this site and here because I just moved), lose the wt I gained from the past two weeks...and hopefully by the time I look at my calendar...it is time for RnR. It is just the "right now" "at this moment" - Im feeling helpless and alone...Im crying it all out today and I know there will be days where I will break down again...but with you guys...I know I can get back up!

12-08-2008, 01:37 PM	#10 (permalink)
jessesq1 Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Socal Posts: 4,175 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 5% Longevity: 22%	I think the worst part of breakdowns is that I never know when they will come, but I do know they will come eventually. I can be totally fine and happy and then feel like I am having a total panic attack. Like everyone says, keep busy. I've found if I focus on work, I barely look up, and the day is over! And on the weekends, I try to focus on friends and family and having fun. At least it seems like the breakdowns are quicker and less frequent now.