Newbie trying to Get Prepared - Deployment Preparation

FratchTX · 02-20-2008, 12:56 PM

Hey everyone! I have been on this site for about a month and love the support and advice that you guys give to each other. I can already tell this site is going to become a very vital part of my day to day life as I get used to this whole military life thing.

My DB is an SFC in a tanker unit here and has just told me that he is being sent to NRC training for 30 days in 2 weeks and then deployed back to Iraq in June for 15 months.

I knew it was coming - just secretly hoped it never would (I am sure you guys understand). He has already gone through 2 deployments (a long one in Iraq and a shorter one in Afghanistan) but we were not together at that point - I have never dated a military man before and certainly have never been through this before - so naturally I am pretty terrified and a little freaked out.

Can anyone give me some insight and suggestions as to:
(a) what I need to be doing for him in the months ahead as we prepare for deployment,
(b) what DB may need of me while he is deployed (aside from the obvious daily letters and care packages)
(c) and what to do for myself to help me get through this prep period and those 15 months until my love returns home to me without falling apart and going crazy?

I realize that everyone is different and needs are different - but I am just trying to help prepare myself for the tough unknown (to me) road ahead.

- Beth

Fidzy · 02-20-2008, 01:00 PM

Hi there. I'm not sure how to answer all your questions because I'm kind of in the same boat. DH is leaving in April. I can answer #3 ... and that's basically do all the things you've ever wanted to do... i.e. learn an instrument, travel, hang out more with your friends, take up a hobby, etc. If you keep yourself occupied, time will go by a LOT faster.

TallBlondie82 · 02-20-2008, 01:04 PM

hi and welcome!!!

this is my first deployment as well and my first experience dating anyone in the military...heres the answers to your questions...

1. before the deployment it is just very important to set aside some time to talk about how you want to handle thing while he is gone...I think it is best to develop an open door policy sounds crazy but just completely honest and up front with each other...assure him that you will be there for him all the time and will do anything in your power to make sure things run smoothly for him.
2. all your db might need of you while hes gone aside from the letters and care packages is support, love and understanding...I think if you can give him those 3 things then thats all he is really going to need.
3. as for you...spend a lot of time on here...work out, better yourself...throw yourself into things...do not let this deployment define who you are...become a stronger person...you can do it!

we are all here to help

AGibson · 02-20-2008, 01:22 PM

I agree with the post above about just have a completely open line of communication before he leaves. The last weekend he was here (his pass weekend), we got away, just the two of us and just concentrated on having a great weekend...kind of ended on a really good note, instead of staying at home and worrying about what was to come. The last memories we have before he left were wonderful!!

My best advice for you is try to find someone who has either 1: Been through a deployment or 2: Is currently going through one. They will be a lifesavor for you. This site is absolutely wonderful for commuicating with others who are going through the same thing.

carmel11725 · 02-20-2008, 01:23 PM

(a) what I need to be doing for him in the months ahead as we prepare for deployment,
(b) what DB may need of me while he is deployed (aside from the obvious daily letters and care packages)
(c) and what to do for myself to help me get through this prep period and those 15 months until my love returns home to me without falling apart and going crazy?

i think TallBlondie gave some great advice.
-he may start to get a little "cranky" or appear to becoming "unattached". i think thats pretty normal. dont make a big deal out of small tifs. he's preparing himself mentally for this deployment. just stand by him, support him and love him.
-support, support, support.
-keep yourself busy. take time to better yourself...work out, join a team or club, think positive. there ARE going to be times when you feel like this deployment will never come to end and things just seem hopeless, you'll miss him like crazy and be down in the dumps...its ok. it's necessary. but dont wallow for too long. think of him, cry if u have to, push forward and move to positive thinking.

~~BJo~~ · 02-20-2008, 02:27 PM

I agree with what the other girls are telling you. Deployments are so hard but you can get through them. Be as supportive as possible but don't let him take advantage of your understanding. This is a struggle for both parties. A great website for care packages is www.operationmilitarypride.org. Also, I know it sounds lame but the dollar store is amazing. It's cheap and have tons of crap to stuff in a box! Time is on your side don't forget that!

parents · 02-20-2008, 03:30 PM

He will def become cranky... it is not you trust me...db n i are having the same predeployment issues rite now. My sister is in the NAVY and says that they are all going into deployment mode which naturally includes being a big *******... lol. Just let him know u are still going to be here when he gets back, they get afraid that you will lose interest, And I agree with the others support him, his decision, and sometimes the fact that he'll want to be alone... it is easier for him to leave when ur mad at each other...

mrsgrneyes · 02-20-2008, 10:07 PM

Well mine has not been to Iraq yet but I have had my brother in law twice over there. And they love pictures and silly crap that we don't think twice about appreciating. Just send random stuff that we certainly put a smile on his face. And also before he goes just try to spend all the time you can with him. Plan silly romantic dates for two or different stuff like that. Things that you can hold on to once he's not there anymore. Make a ton of good memories. And try not to fight ha ha even though it is hard. For the going crazy take it day by day. Just keep busy ya know.

02-20-2008, 12:56 PM	#1 (permalink)
FratchTX Account Closed Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 2,494 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 34%	Newbie trying to Get Prepared Hey everyone! I have been on this site for about a month and love the support and advice that you guys give to each other. I can already tell this site is going to become a very vital part of my day to day life as I get used to this whole military life thing. My DB is an SFC in a tanker unit here and has just told me that he is being sent to NRC training for 30 days in 2 weeks and then deployed back to Iraq in June for 15 months. I knew it was coming - just secretly hoped it never would (I am sure you guys understand). He has already gone through 2 deployments (a long one in Iraq and a shorter one in Afghanistan) but we were not together at that point - I have never dated a military man before and certainly have never been through this before - so naturally I am pretty terrified and a little freaked out. Can anyone give me some insight and suggestions as to: (a) what I need to be doing for him in the months ahead as we prepare for deployment, (b) what DB may need of me while he is deployed (aside from the obvious daily letters and care packages) (c) and what to do for myself to help me get through this prep period and those 15 months until my love returns home to me without falling apart and going crazy? I realize that everyone is different and needs are different - but I am just trying to help prepare myself for the tough unknown (to me) road ahead. - Beth

02-20-2008, 01:04 PM	#3 (permalink)
TallBlondie82 Im crazy, the good kind Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 21,674 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 40%	hi and welcome!!! this is my first deployment as well and my first experience dating anyone in the military...heres the answers to your questions... 1. before the deployment it is just very important to set aside some time to talk about how you want to handle thing while he is gone...I think it is best to develop an open door policy sounds crazy but just completely honest and up front with each other...assure him that you will be there for him all the time and will do anything in your power to make sure things run smoothly for him. 2. all your db might need of you while hes gone aside from the letters and care packages is support, love and understanding...I think if you can give him those 3 things then thats all he is really going to need. 3. as for you...spend a lot of time on here...work out, better yourself...throw yourself into things...do not let this deployment define who you are...become a stronger person...you can do it! we are all here to help __________________

02-20-2008, 01:22 PM	#4 (permalink)
AGibson MilitarySOS Jewel Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Home: Atlanta Currently: Mobile, AL (Blah) Posts: 314 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 36%	I agree with the post above about just have a completely open line of communication before he leaves. The last weekend he was here (his pass weekend), we got away, just the two of us and just concentrated on having a great weekend...kind of ended on a really good note, instead of staying at home and worrying about what was to come. The last memories we have before he left were wonderful!! My best advice for you is try to find someone who has either 1: Been through a deployment or 2: Is currently going through one. They will be a lifesavor for you. This site is absolutely wonderful for commuicating with others who are going through the same thing. __________________ ~Paige~

About Us

MilitarySOS Shortcuts

MilitarySOS Help

About MilitarySOS

02-20-2008, 01:00 PM	#2 (permalink)
Fidzy Account Closed Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 11,982 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 36%	Hi there. I'm not sure how to answer all your questions because I'm kind of in the same boat. DH is leaving in April. I can answer #3 ... and that's basically do all the things you've ever wanted to do... i.e. learn an instrument, travel, hang out more with your friends, take up a hobby, etc. If you keep yourself occupied, time will go by a LOT faster.

02-20-2008, 01:23 PM	#5 (permalink)
carmel11725 Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 7,237 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 42%	(a) what I need to be doing for him in the months ahead as we prepare for deployment, (b) what DB may need of me while he is deployed (aside from the obvious daily letters and care packages) (c) and what to do for myself to help me get through this prep period and those 15 months until my love returns home to me without falling apart and going crazy? i think TallBlondie gave some great advice. -he may start to get a little "cranky" or appear to becoming "unattached". i think thats pretty normal. dont make a big deal out of small tifs. he's preparing himself mentally for this deployment. just stand by him, support him and love him. -support, support, support. -keep yourself busy. take time to better yourself...work out, join a team or club, think positive. there ARE going to be times when you feel like this deployment will never come to end and things just seem hopeless, you'll miss him like crazy and be down in the dumps...its ok. it's necessary. but dont wallow for too long. think of him, cry if u have to, push forward and move to positive thinking.

02-20-2008, 02:27 PM	#6 (permalink)
~~BJo~~ Banned Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Your mom Posts: 25,358 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 42%	I agree with what the other girls are telling you. Deployments are so hard but you can get through them. Be as supportive as possible but don't let him take advantage of your understanding. This is a struggle for both parties. A great website for care packages is www.operationmilitarypride.org. Also, I know it sounds lame but the dollar store is amazing. It's cheap and have tons of crap to stuff in a box! Time is on your side don't forget that!

02-20-2008, 03:30 PM	#7 (permalink)
parents Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Whidbey Island- NAS Posts: 1,610 Blog Entries: 1 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 33%	He will def become cranky... it is not you trust me...db n i are having the same predeployment issues rite now. My sister is in the NAVY and says that they are all going into deployment mode which naturally includes being a big *******... lol. Just let him know u are still going to be here when he gets back, they get afraid that you will lose interest, And I agree with the others support him, his decision, and sometimes the fact that he'll want to be alone... it is easier for him to leave when ur mad at each other...

02-20-2008, 10:07 PM	#8 (permalink)
mrsgrneyes Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Las Cruces,NM Posts: 53 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 33%	Well mine has not been to Iraq yet but I have had my brother in law twice over there. And they love pictures and silly crap that we don't think twice about appreciating. Just send random stuff that we certainly put a smile on his face. And also before he goes just try to spend all the time you can with him. Plan silly romantic dates for two or different stuff like that. Things that you can hold on to once he's not there anymore. Make a ton of good memories. And try not to fight ha ha even though it is hard. For the going crazy take it day by day. Just keep busy ya know.