Scared

[NavyLove4Ever]

I am so scared about my DB leaving for Iraq...it's not anytime soon, but I'm scared. I read about all you ladies's horror stories about their transition home, and PTSD...and i am scared...I'm worried about my reaction. If he has readjustment issues, that i won't blame him for his problems...He's a seabee. Do they have these issues? I know his deployments are only 6-8 months, but still...I worry.

How can I deal with it?

[tinsygrl]

Originally Posted by NavyLove4Ever I am so scared about my DB leaving for Iraq...it's not anytime soon, but I'm scared. I read about all you ladies's horror stories about their transition home, and PTSD...and i am scared...I'm worried about my reaction. If he has readjustment issues, that i won't blame him for his problems...He's a seabee. Do they have these issues? I know his deployments are only 6-8 months, but still...I worry. How can I deal with it?

Well... honestly there is not really anything that you can do other than keep an open line of communication with him. Not every deployed solider returns with a problem, or ptsd (I'm not saying that anyone person is strong than another) but each person's individual experiences will effect them differently. Just be there for you DB and hang in you may have nothing to worry about but if you need advice just come here... Good Luck trust me it will be worth it!

[kbmarie]

try not to worry about his return home, you have to take it one day at a time and live in the now. i feel like that's the only way i'm going to get through this. db doesn't leave until january and i was all worried about what if this happens or this, and it just got down to the point where i realized (with help of ladies on this site ) that you can't do anything but take it one day at a time.

if you need to talk, feel free to PM me. I can definitely relate to what you're going through!

[68W-LVR]

To help with PTSD I decided to talk with DH about everything and "act" like even the bad stuff is no big deal. I told him that every story he ever tells better be old news to me. I just hope that if we keep talking about all the good/bad/ugly that when he gets home everything will be easier. He has no idea how much I cry when I get off the phone / online after he tells me stuff but I think it is going to help us in the long run save a lot of tears. Over 3 weeks in and going strong. You'll be ok. It is what it is and you just have to have the attitude that you will take each day as it comes and eventually it will be a thing of the past. Nothing you can do about it so make the best of it.

[NavyLove4Ever]

Originally Posted by akreais To help with PTSD I decided to talk with DH about everything and "act" like even the bad stuff is no big deal. I told him that every story he ever tells better be old news to me. I just hope that if we keep talking about all the good/bad/ugly that when he gets home everything will be easier. He has no idea how much I cry when I get off the phone / online after he tells me stuff but I think it is going to help us in the long run save a lot of tears. Over 3 weeks in and going strong. You'll be ok. It is what it is and you just have to have the attitude that you will take each day as it comes and eventually it will be a thing of the past. Nothing you can do about it so make the best of it.

Thanks a lot! I really appreciate it!

by the by...I love Avenue Q...being a theatre major and all...lol

[LauraF]

its hard to prepare emotionally at all from what i can tell. its so hard to know what to do...i know a lot of women on here are wives and i would love to be that more than anything but i'm not a wife with kids, i'm a girlfriend of one year. he'll be gone from our 1.5 year mark to the 2.5 year mark in terms of our relationship. how are we supposed to get to know each other better? i want to marry him and he wants to marry me, its just hard because if it were realistic at all i'd drop out of school and follow him around the world. but those things can't happen.

its just hard when everyone is telling me its too hard, you're too young, you don't know it'll work out...but i just feel in my heart that we love each other enough...

[billysgirl]

the whole deployment thing can be so scary. mine hasn't come home yet, so i dunno how he's gonna be. i'm just hoping to keep communication open. his mom is also a therapist so he's already planning on going to counceling when he gets home just to kinda deal with those issues in the healthiest way, which is kinda wierd for guys...

[TallBlondie82]

communicate communicate communicate

thats all i can say...my db has been gone a little over a month and everything has been so good...i credit that to our communication...

i have no idea about ptsd, but i believe that when he goes over there the more communication you have with him can help with that as well...but who knows

you can do it, and its ok to be scared...just don't drive yourself crazy worrying about things that haven't happened yet...hope for the best and stay POSITIVE!!!

[forensicangel]

I have to say I'm terrified of that too. DB and I talked about what would happen if he comes home changed. We both know there is going to be some difference, there's no way around it. Its whether or not you can move past the change that's the issue. He and I promised each other we would try it, and we know our love is strong. I think its one of those things you just have to wait out, you can't know what has gone on there. I made DB promise me that if something gets to him he either talks to me or to someone who can help.

[Tara S.]

make sure you both know how each other is feeling about it...do lots of talking....and talk about what you both expect out of the relationship while he is gone, like emails, contact, all that stuff...

dont worry about what the other girls are writing...i did that for a while, and was told that the relationships on here have nothing to do with your own...every relationship is different...make sure your reading the posts that make you feel good too....i hope that helps...if not you can always message me...we can talk or something...good luck