tears tears and more tears - Deployment Preparation

Shannon Marie · 12-10-2007, 02:48 PM

dammit! i'm balling my eyes out and he hasnt' even left yet. He has almost a month and every time i'm by myself I end up crying. I don't want to do it in front of him because I know he'll feel bad and there isn't anything he can do. At the same time I feel so alone in this. Not like "i'm the only one this is happening to" but more because I really don't have any friends who understand and i'm lucky i have my family but there again....they've never been in these shoes.

To make matters worse I just listen to all these romantic songs we've listened to together and they all sound so sad now. It just makes the tears come faster. I try not to but maybe crying is the best thing right now? Or not.

AGH! If i'm like this now....what happens when he does leave?

ProudNavyWife · 12-10-2007, 02:52 PM

It gets better!

Well...you get better at dealing with it anyhow.

Turn off the songs. But on something upbeat. Do do things that make you think more on it...make the time you have right now the best you can.

harrisonsdream · 12-10-2007, 02:53 PM

i think the months and weeks leading up to deployment (once you get that word that they will be leaving) are the hardest.

*Erica* · 12-10-2007, 04:18 PM

I think waiting for the deployment to start is the worst! I cried sooo much before DB deployed and when it finally came I was able to breathe. I know it's hard right now but it will get better. You could just go ahead and start your countdown. That's what I did and it helped.

Julianne · 12-10-2007, 04:21 PM

You won't feel this bad for the whole time. The anticipation leading up to when he actually leaves is one of the worst parts of the whole situation. Holding everything back from him probably isn't the way to go though, you'll probably end up feeling worse. I think you should discuss how you're feeling, and let him comfort you, because I'm sure that's all he wants to do for you.

PattersonGal · 12-10-2007, 04:21 PM

Originally Posted by harrisonsdream

i think the months and weeks leading up to deployment (once you get that word that they will be leaving) are the hardest.

Because once they leave, you can start counting down!

It does get easier to deal with though...

mrs_ski · 12-10-2007, 04:29 PM

I was a wreck right before my hubby left. Everytime i heard a song on the radio or saw anything that reminded me of him, made me cry. When he left for work in the morning i didnt want him to go.... i would sit in bed after he left crying because i was so scared of what was to come. I was so scared, and the last few days were hard. But once he go on that bus and left... it was kind of a relief. I dont know how to explain it. But it was a weight lifted off my shoulders knowing i didnt have to fear saying goodbye for now. Saying goodbye is the hardest.
But after that.... its not counting the days until he leaves.... its counting the days until he is back! Which i like much better!!
Hang in there. I know it is hard, and yet i am still learning... this is my first deployment.
We are all here for you!!

smokeyrose21 · 12-10-2007, 04:42 PM

i know how u feel thats how i feel right now and my b/f leaves pretty soon

DiamondGirl · 12-10-2007, 06:02 PM

I have been through 10 patrols with DH. I wish I had some great words of wisdom here. The best I can say is that is really does get better. It is true that the hardest part is before they leave.

Ladies.....Just wait for HOMECOMING!! There is nothing like it in the world! Sometimes I think it is sad that not every couple gets to have a homecoming at least once. The time leading up to him getting home....there just aren't words for it. It is like the day before Christmas, the last day of school, getting a new house, and winning the lottery all wrapped up in your DH or SO.

Just know that the days will go by, and each day is one less until he gets home to you.

BossLadyB · 12-10-2007, 10:42 PM

It's strange but you will feel better after the

saying goodbye

part is over. You should definately tell him how you feel and let him see those tears though because while he's away he can't be there to hold you but right now he can, and you'll wish you would've let him comfort you. Hang in there

12-10-2007, 02:48 PM	#1 (permalink)
Shannon Marie Love you more Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Tinker AFB Oklahoma City, OK Posts: 4,649 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 3% Longevity: 35%	tears tears and more tears dammit! i'm balling my eyes out and he hasnt' even left yet. He has almost a month and every time i'm by myself I end up crying. I don't want to do it in front of him because I know he'll feel bad and there isn't anything he can do. At the same time I feel so alone in this. Not like "i'm the only one this is happening to" but more because I really don't have any friends who understand and i'm lucky i have my family but there again....they've never been in these shoes. To make matters worse I just listen to all these romantic songs we've listened to together and they all sound so sad now. It just makes the tears come faster. I try not to but maybe crying is the best thing right now? Or not. AGH! If i'm like this now....what happens when he does leave? __________________ DJRx2= my life, my world, my everything

12-10-2007, 02:52 PM	#2 (permalink)
ProudNavyWife Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Grand Rapids, MI Posts: 954 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 37%	It gets better! Well...you get better at dealing with it anyhow. Turn off the songs. But on something upbeat. Do do things that make you think more on it...make the time you have right now the best you can. __________________ DH is home!

12-10-2007, 04:18 PM	#4 (permalink)
Erica I heart phone kisses Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 132 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 36%	I think waiting for the deployment to start is the worst! I cried sooo much before DB deployed and when it finally came I was able to breathe. I know it's hard right now but it will get better. You could just go ahead and start your countdown. That's what I did and it helped. __________________

12-10-2007, 04:21 PM	#5 (permalink)
Julianne Trophy Wife in Training Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Maryland Posts: 3,897 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 39%	You won't feel this bad for the whole time. The anticipation leading up to when he actually leaves is one of the worst parts of the whole situation. Holding everything back from him probably isn't the way to go though, you'll probably end up feeling worse. I think you should discuss how you're feeling, and let him comfort you, because I'm sure that's all he wants to do for you. __________________

12-10-2007, 04:29 PM	#7 (permalink)
mrs_ski Surviving Deployment #2 Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 8,532 Blog Entries: 1 Classifieds: (1) Activity: 46% Longevity: 33%	I was a wreck right before my hubby left. Everytime i heard a song on the radio or saw anything that reminded me of him, made me cry. When he left for work in the morning i didnt want him to go.... i would sit in bed after he left crying because i was so scared of what was to come. I was so scared, and the last few days were hard. But once he go on that bus and left... it was kind of a relief. I dont know how to explain it. But it was a weight lifted off my shoulders knowing i didnt have to fear saying goodbye for now. Saying goodbye is the hardest. But after that.... its not counting the days until he leaves.... its counting the days until he is back! Which i like much better!! Hang in there. I know it is hard, and yet i am still learning... this is my first deployment. We are all here for you!! __________________ Is it june yet?

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12-10-2007, 02:53 PM	#3 (permalink)
harrisonsdream Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 52,170 Blog Entries: 1 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 67%	i think the months and weeks leading up to deployment (once you get that word that they will be leaving) are the hardest.

12-10-2007, 04:42 PM	#8 (permalink)
smokeyrose21 Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Philly Posts: 702 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 33%	i know how u feel thats how i feel right now and my b/f leaves pretty soon __________________ grrrrr Every day is a great day even tho its bad cause we have each other

12-10-2007, 06:02 PM	#9 (permalink)
DiamondGirl Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: WA Posts: 53 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 35%	I have been through 10 patrols with DH. I wish I had some great words of wisdom here. The best I can say is that is really does get better. It is true that the hardest part is before they leave. Ladies.....Just wait for HOMECOMING!! There is nothing like it in the world! Sometimes I think it is sad that not every couple gets to have a homecoming at least once. The time leading up to him getting home....there just aren't words for it. It is like the day before Christmas, the last day of school, getting a new house, and winning the lottery all wrapped up in your DH or SO. Just know that the days will go by, and each day is one less until he gets home to you.

12-10-2007, 10:42 PM	#10 (permalink)
BossLadyB Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: San Diego Posts: 375 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 1% Longevity: 37%	It's strange but you will feel better after the saying goodbye part is over. You should definately tell him how you feel and let him see those tears though because while he's away he can't be there to hold you but right now he can, and you'll wish you would've let him comfort you. Hang in there __________________