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Thread: Need a best friend for this tough time

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    #1

    Need a best friend for this tough time

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    So, very shortly, my world will crash...my DB is going to be leaving for his first deployment and we have only been together a month now, we are both very nervous about how we are gonna go through the next 9 months and i would love to have someone who is going through the same thing or something similar and be there for someone as well because just being a military girlfriend its not easy and i dont think we are given enough credit because we go through so much as well but in the eyes of the military we arent anything, which i get and all but just ranting ya know lol
    Last edited by Crystal; 04-03-2016 at 10:19 PM. Reason: OPSEC
  2. Do or do not... There is no try.~ Yoda, Jedi Master
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    #2
    Please be mindful of posting troop movement dates.
    I'm not Lynn, but we ARE MSOS Best Friends and MSOS Twins.
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    #3
    Be careful about the way you frame this for yourself. If you see this as your "world crashing", it is going to be painful. Instead, look a this as just another segment of your life. You were fine without him in your life a month ago, and you will be fine without his active presence in your life while he's deployed. Set goals for yourself, and really make good use of the time, rather than looking at it as simply something to endure.
    Science always wins over bullshit. ~Dick Rutkowski
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    #4
    I volunteer as tribute. But really, I could use a bestie.
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Hisgirl94 View Post
    So, very shortly, my world will crash...my DB is going to be leaving for his first deployment and we have only been together a month now, we are both very nervous about how we are gonna go through the next 9 months and i would love to have someone who is going through the same thing or something similar and be there for someone as well because just being a military girlfriend its not easy and i dont think we are given enough credit because we go through so much as well but in the eyes of the military we arent anything, which i get and all but just ranting ya know lol
    Hey OP! My partner and I are going through his first deployment together right now and I would be happy to chat with you about things if you're having a bad day or feel like you've complained too much about the situation or whenever, really! We aren't married, either, but fortunately he was able to get me included in the FRG on Facebook, so I can see photos and updates that are posted and contact the FRG leader if I need to. You should ask your boyfriend about it and see if he can get you in on that resource.

    Don't see him leaving as your world coming to an end though, see it as a hard thing that you guys WILL get through, as an opportunity for self-improvement (think of all the things you can get done in all that newly-available free time) and a chance to grow your relationship through some tough circumstances. You guys can learn a lot about how you handle stress together through this and you can also get to know each other better and in different ways as you write letters and emails back and forth.
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    #6
    As one who has gone through this multiple times I can tell you attitude makes this bearable or horrible. Don't allow yourself to slip into the "My world is crashing" attitude. As weird as it may seem this is the time to grow your relationship to the next level. There are some very practical things you can do. First and foremost recognize the fact that this is temporary. It will pass! That seems obvious but if you allow yourself to think about how long it is you will drive yourself crazy. Always look forward .... never think about how long he has been gone, rather think about how close you are getting to his return.

    Have a system .... by that I mean a life system. Fill your hours with meaningful activities. When I say meaningful I don't mean clean the house or apartment everyday to keep busy. Start a new hobby you always wanted to try, take a class you always wanted to take. Start a new workout regiment you maybe never took the time for. Use this time to better yourself and you will turn this period of time into a positive, self building experience. And the real positive is that when he does arrive home if you keep the lines of communication open and flowing you will be rewarded with a much more solid relationship.

    Use your support system. Rely on close friends and family for support. If they don't understand or are not familiar with the military lifestyle encourage them to read and educate themselves. Utilize forums such as this to converse.

    Stay positive for him. Whatever you do don't ever let him know you are struggling. Remember this is not easy on him either. I have always taken it as "my job" to let him know I'm proud of him, I support him and I'm holding down the home front just fine. I never burden my DH with the minor problems of life. That being said I feel communication is the foundation of relationships so make sure any significant event or change in life you discuss. But he doesn't have to know if your car battery died.

    Just like anything in life, challenges make you stronger. You can do this! If you ever need to chat just let me know.
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    #7
    Don't let his deployment stop you from enjoying your life. When my husband deployed the first time I went to two college graduations...I was able to attend cause they were close by to where we were stationed. Wedding cause it was close by, Trip to the beach for the annual family beach trip-lived close enough that I could go. Made new friends, kept old friends.

    I have tried to never let my husbands detachments, his schools or deployments from stopping my fun. Do I wish he would be able to attend things yes very much so but it comes with the territory.
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    #8
    Im here to talk
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    #9
    My Fiance has been gone for two months now and I think what has helped me the most is staying incredibly busy and also having something to look forward to every month. You can do this! I am here to listen and or talk if you ever need anyone.
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    #10
    I've been at it since the end of January and we were even long distance before that (we just can't communicate the same amount which is what is making it harder) but I'm here if you need to talk! Just like everyone else was saying stay busy! The days where I have a full plate and am running around it definitely isn't as hard or difficult but those days where I'm just relaxing and killing time are the worst... so stay busy doing something you love that will distract your mind
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