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Thread: Significant Other = Best Friend?

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    #21
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    Wow thank you for everyone's responses, I love hearing other perspectives about this!

    He has other best friends that are male as well and he considers me one of his best friends. He just always refered to this woman as his "1# best friend." The only reason I thought that your SO should be your #1 best friend is because that's how my parents are, and I often look up to them as an example since they've been together for over 20 years. That's how it's portrayed in movies and books lol. This is my first serious relationship so I'm still learning things.

    I have/would never ask him to stop being friends with her! I just wanted to hear other people's perspectives!
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    #22
    Quote Originally Posted by Heisenberg View Post
    She never said she wanted him to stop being best friends with her lol. Idk I think it's natural to want to be your SO's #1 everything when you've been together so long. She's just asking for our opinions, she's given us no indication that she's over there being a psycho over it.
    She said she's having some trouble with it. I don't think it's natural for to want to be your SO #1 everything. I've been with my fiancé for a long time too and I don't want him or expect him to be my #1 everything. He's chosen me to spend his life with and have a family with, I do consider him my best friend, he is the person I tell everything right away to, and that is natural. But at the same time if someone asks me who my best friend is, I tell them the person I've been best friends with since kindergarten. On the other hand, he had a best friend too he's been friends with for a long long time, and I have zero trouble with at all.

    I never said that she was being psycho over it, but it does seem a bit odd to me that a simple title is causing her trouble. That was just my observation and what I got from the post, if that's not the case, that's great. I guess I just don't spend too much time thinking about my DF referring to someone else as his "best friend" because I know I'm his go to person in all aspects and he is going to marry me and that's all that matters.
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    #23
    Quote Originally Posted by Allybeth View Post
    She said she's having some trouble with it. I don't think it's natural for to want to be your SO #1 everything. I've been with my fiancé for a long time too and I don't want him or expect him to be my #1 everything. He's chosen me to spend his life with and have a family with, I do consider him my best friend, he is the person I tell everything right away to, and that is natural. But at the same time if someone asks me who my best friend is, I tell them the person I've been best friends with since kindergarten. On the other hand, he had a best friend too he's been friends with for a long long time, and I have zero trouble with at all.

    I never said that she was being psycho over it, but it does seem a bit odd to me that a simple title is causing her trouble. That was just my observation and what I got from the post, if that's not the case, that's great. I guess I just don't spend too much time thinking about my DF referring to someone else as his "best friend" because I know I'm his go to person in all aspects and he is going to marry me and that's all that matters.
    You think because someone says they want to marry you that's all that matters? Anyone can say that. You need the "best friend" connection.


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    #24
    If someone asks me who my BFF is -- I say my best (girl)friend. She's known me since we were 15. She is my person.
    At the same time, DH is definitely the other person in my life that I can be 100% myself. But I don't get pedicures with him. LOL. I'm blessed to have both in my life.

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    #25
    My sister is my actual best friend. I have a really, really good friend here that I love dearly and would do anything for, but I've only known her for a little over a year and we're not at best friend status yet, if we ever get there. I used to have a best friend, but after I moved away after I got married the friendship kind of fizzled out. I only get to go "home" a few times a year and it happens to be during big holiday's most times, like Christmas, and we're both so busy that I don't expect to see her and she never really put a lot into our friendship even when I lived 10 miles away. I was always the one initiating hang outs or the one that had to drive to her. She was just a mediocre friend, and I feel like we were "best friends" because we lived so close. I do think my husband is one of my best friends though, my sister and my husband are the top best friends, then my really, really good friend, then everyone else is just a friend.



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    #26
    My husband is one of my best friends....but he is not the ultimate best friend...heck none of my best friends are.

    When my husband and I were dating one of the first things I told him was my best friend is a guy and we tried dating in high school and if he didn't like that than lets end it now. I have known this kid since 3rd grade, he could walk into my house and basically do no wrong. I told him straight up that we have made out and we did promise each other that come the age of 30 if neither of us were in a solid relationship and all we would try dating again just but we both found people who fit us well.

    I fully think there is always room for friends to make a special place. My sister next to me (I have 3 sisters) oh for YEARS could not be in the same room almost. We would butt heads so much. It wasn't until a Disney trip with my family that we finally got each other. Now she is one of my best friends. I honestly don't know how often she talks to our other 2 sisters. She and I talk every other day almost even if its Facebook messenger and those stupid faces. Thats how we communicate sometimes cause of her work. She just married this past weekend and while none of us were really apart of the wedding I would have to say I she allowed me to help a lot more even though I probably should have been sitting down with my feet up the whole time (i was 38 weeks pregnant and still waiting for this baby to show)

    My husband is my best friend but there are others out there too who are my best friend too.
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    #27
    I think that assuming that your boyfriend should be your best friend and you his is completely unrealistic. I consider DH my other half but I have an actual friend who is a best friend. Please tell me you didn't tell him you were upset that you aren't his biffle
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