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Thread: How do you handle social media with your SO?

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    #1

    How do you handle social media with your SO?

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    I just saw some girl online bragging that she and her bf had been together for almost two years, but they just added each other on facebook recently and had never interacted with each other on social media. Like she's so much better than everybody else because they don't need to show their relationship off To me, that's utterly absurd.

    Assuming you weren't already friends before, how long did it take you to become fb friends with your SO? How long to become ~fb official~ if ever? Do you tag each other in stuff? Do you know each others passwords? Are you one of those weird couples who shares one account? Do you think social media creates problems?
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    My husband had a facebook for a year before finally convincing me to make the leap. I have since deleted it. We tag each other when we "check in" or in things we think they might like. But there is no sharing of passwords. No sharing of accounts either. And social media can be a great thing or a great pain for any type of relationship. I dont go around social media talking about how much I love my husband. We dont post kushy and mushy stuff to each other. We dont even text those type of things. We talk in person. I dont find absurd to not post about your relationship on social media.
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    That just screams odd to me!! DH and I were Facebook/Myspace friends before we even started dating When we started dating it was FB official immediately. We know each others passwords but we don't check up on each other.. I mean our facebook/emails are constantly logged in on our laptops and phones so the password thing is useless. I will admit though, I brag on DH alot on FB I'm one of THOSE people. The only time I think social media could cause issues is if the person in insecure, or they are doing sketchy shit.

    From what I noticed back in my dating years (that makes me shudder thinking about) the only guys who didnt want to make it "facebook official" or didnt have me on their pages ended up being shady as fuckkkk
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    Dh and I are Facebook friends, but I don't have him listed as my husband. He's sent a request, and I've ignored it. I'm weird about Facebook. I like to keep it very small, and I don't use my full name, so people can't find me. I don't want them to easily find me via DH, either. My status does say married though, I think. We do occasionally tag each other (him more than me), but not very often. We definitely don't post lovey dove stuff, except possibly on our anniversary, and even then it's not super gushing.

    I probably know his password. I know all of his standard passwords, so I could likely guess within half a dozen tries. And he leave it logged in on his computer.

    I don't think FB causes problems. I think drama-llamas will often have problems that center around social media, but that's because they are drama whores, not because Facebook is the Devil. If it wasn't Facebook, but would be something else (and in fact, it's probably both).
    Science always wins over bullshit. ~Dick Rutkowski
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    DH and I were fb friends first but we met online so that was kind of a given. I tag him in stuff all the time, he tags me, we're listed as in a relationship, we know each others passwords....

    idk, i don't get it. social media isn't that big of a deal to me. I have my profile set to private, so what if someone finds me online? Oh no, they've found out information they could get in a million other places, like my name and my birthday. My address is public record because I own my house. I don't get the fear around being public online. sure there are something that shouldn't be shared, but for the most part I think it's silly to be overly cautious or overly private.


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    We started dating a while ago so it was during myspace times when we started messaging each other. I liked to creep his pictures and see what kind of songs he had on his profile By the time he was my boyfriend I had a fb but he didn't. He friended me when he created an account and it said we were in a relationship right away.

    We've never shared passwords or an account. I'd say we tagged each other sometimes but very rarely posted to each other, like having a conversation on a wall or in a status. Very rarely. We would just text or send a message. Social media hasn't "caused any problems" unless you count our parents embarrassing us lol No, seriously. We respect each other, we trust each other. That's that.

    It's mostly served as a way for us to communicate via message. Nowadays fb is just me suppressing the urge to post about my dog. I made an IG that my family and friends don't know about so I have a secret outlet for my crazy and so DH can see all the pics I take of puppyman.
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by lavender_jane View Post
    We started dating a while ago so it was during myspace times when we started messaging each other. I liked to creep his pictures and see what kind of songs he had on his profile By the time he was my boyfriend I had a fb but he didn't. He friended me when he created an account and it said we were in a relationship right away.

    We've never shared passwords or an account. I'd say we tagged each other sometimes but very rarely posted to each other, like having a conversation on a wall or in a status. Very rarely. We would just text or send a message. Social media hasn't "caused any problems" unless you count our parents embarrassing us lol No, seriously. We respect each other, we trust each other. That's that.

    It's mostly served as a way for us to communicate via message. Nowadays fb is just me suppressing the urge to post about my dog. I made an IG that my family and friends don't know about so I have a secret outlet for my crazy and so DH can see all the pics I take of puppyman.
    Ahh yes the days of Myspace. I miss those days for sure LOL.
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    I am "overly private" simply because to me, FB is a conversation among friends. So I want it to be truly friends, not the kid who sat next to me in 4th grade. We all do some level of code shifting, speaking different ways our about different things based on the audience. I want to feel entirely free to "speak" on FB as though I'm talking with a dear, trusted friend.

    It's more about that than safety, though I also prefer to err on the side of caution with safety as well. Sure, someone could find out info on me many ways, but that doesn't mean I want to make it easy. I've seen it go very bad on message boards (people bringing board drama into peoples' real lives) and learned that lesson. But to each her own. Everyone's comfort level is going to be different. Unless someone is blatantly dangerous with giving out info, I'm not going to judge them or those actions. It's just a different perspective and a different approach.
    Science always wins over bullshit. ~Dick Rutkowski
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    #9
    See I don't really care that much about social media. I've been by far the mushiest I've ever been with my current boyfriend, as far as checking in together and posting on his wall etc. We met online and added each other before our first date because I wanted to creep and he was cool with it. Became fb official after like two months..ish? For no reason really, that's not important to me.

    I don't get why people blame facebook for relationship troubles. I've known people who literally delete their accounts when they start seeing somebody. Why not just you know, not be inappropriate? I've honestly never felt like I had to check up on my SOs accounts.

    Quote Originally Posted by jellybeanerr View Post
    That just screams odd to me!! DH and I were Facebook/Myspace friends before we even started dating When we started dating it was FB official immediately. We know each others passwords but we don't check up on each other.. I mean our facebook/emails are constantly logged in on our laptops and phones so the password thing is useless. I will admit though, I brag on DH alot on FB I'm one of THOSE people. The only time I think social media could cause issues is if the person in insecure, or they are doing sketchy shit.

    From what I noticed back in my dating years (that makes me shudder thinking about) the only guys who didnt want to make it "facebook official" or didnt have me on their pages ended up being shady as fuckkkk
    It seems really shady to me too! It was never fb official with the last guy I dated, but it wasn't really ever that kind of relationship either so it didn't bother me. But if he didn't even want to add me I would've noped out immediately, that is super weird.
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by bdizzle View Post
    DH and I were fb friends first but we met online so that was kind of a given. I tag him in stuff all the time, he tags me, we're listed as in a relationship, we know each others passwords....

    idk, i don't get it. social media isn't that big of a deal to me. I have my profile set to private, so what if someone finds me online? Oh no, they've found out information they could get in a million other places, like my name and my birthday. My address is public record because I own my house. I don't get the fear around being public online. sure there are something that should be shared, but for the most part I think it's silly to be overly cautious or overly private.
    Regarding privacy, I could probably also be described as being overly private online but it's really just because I find myself embarrassing hahaha. I don't want anybody I'm not comfortable with looking through my shit and sending screencaps to their friends.
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