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Thread: Sex education in schools?

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    #21
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    I'll have to dig up the study but I remember reading something that was comparing comprehensive sex ed vs abstinence only or no sex ed in schools at all. IIRC the gist of it was that kids who had comprehensive sex ed starting having sex like a year or so earlier on average than the other kids did. But they were also having sex more safely and had lower rates of STIs/pregnancy.

    I guess if all someone really cares about is delaying kids having sex as long as possible, no matter the cost, that might make them want to keep sex ed out of schools?
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    #22
    Quote Originally Posted by Tojai View Post
    I'll have to dig up the study but I remember reading something that was comparing comprehensive sex ed vs abstinence only or no sex ed in schools at all. IIRC the gist of it was that kids who had comprehensive sex ed starting having sex like a year or so earlier on average than the other kids did. But they were also having sex more safely and had lower rates of STIs/pregnancy.

    I guess if all someone really cares about is delaying kids having sex as long as possible, no matter the cost, that might make them want to keep sex ed out of schools?
    Hmm. That is interesting to me. I wonder if the sex education is actually the causation of the kids having sex earlier. "Oh if we're safe we can have sex and it will be fine" type of mentality, or if there's some other reason.
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    #23
    I think it kind of depends on how much sex education we are talking. I think it is important for younger students to learn about their bodies (and the opposite sex's bodies) and that all bodies are perfect, no matter the size, shape, color, so that they understand how the body works and that it's a "private" thing (private as in, no one should be touching them inappropriately and they probably shouldn't be showing each other their hardware on the playground even though I think that's a very kid things to do.) They should be taught to be confident of themselves and their bodies instead of the way we were taught when I was younger (that you don't talk about your body, and it's not something that you share with anyone besides your family. I was lucky in the fact that my Mom was amazing when it came to the difficult stuff, other than, "man I should probably lay off the cookies a little bit", I haven't EVER looked in the mirror and been upset about what I've seen. I've always had confidence *probably over-confidence is more of an issue for me than not enough* and never thought badly of myself, my body image has always been positive, but that certainly wasn't the case for some of the people I went to school with. It was "bad" to be pudgy, when clearly it was far too young to be worrying about that. I think that healthy eating and exercise should be taught too, but not "weight loss" so much as healthy lifestyle, but that's a different conversation) So many little kids refer to their sex organs by silly names, which is fine, IF they know what they are really called, but in this day and age, where child molesters and other child predators are so much more prevalent, I think it's important for a child to understand what's okay and what isn't okay, and how to ask for help if something does happen... and like in the case of my God daughter, if God forbid something happened to her, and she walked up to her teacher and said, "A scary man on the playground touched my Gee (her word for her vagina)" would the teacher necessarily understand the gravity of the situation? Probably, but maybe not. I think this stuff should be taught young, early in elementary school, when they are old enough to understand about their own bodies.

    I think it's probably a still a good idea to teach a more comprehensive sex ed. in middle school, whether or not you retain it when your older, shouldn't really be an issue, because I think and even more informative sex education should be taught in high school. Kids are having sex earlier and earlier, is it because we are teaching sex ed earlier? Could be, but either way, kids have access to SO MUCH more information now with the internet being available on EVERYTHING everywhere, that they're going to find out, and they should find out the correct information, not something that they find written on the internet (or through porn) I think it should be stressed that the emotions associated with sexual experiences are very adult, and they should wait until they are older, but they should also know how to protect themselves if they do decide to do it anyway.

    In high school, I guess I think it should still be taught as something that they should wait until they find "the one" but safety should be the number one objective, and I think it shouldn't be pushed so much that "sex is bad". My little cousin, she's a woman, 22 years old, just got married, and was a virgin until her wedding night (both her and her husband are very religious, and have been together since elementary school, and decided that they wanted to wait together) she had a very difficult time switching from being a single woman to a married woman where overnight, like the snap of a finger, it's all of a sudden okay to have sex when for the last 20 years she's been taught it's "bad". I don't think that any religion or education *tries* to teach sex as a bad thing, but it ends up coming off that way because it's so hush hush, we shouldn't talk about these things, and should only do it when we are married. Kids should be able to talk about these things openly, and it shouldn't be taught as something to fear (because of religious views, rules, that kind of thing)

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    #24
    Quote Originally Posted by JennyJennJenn View Post
    I think it kind of depends on how much sex education we are talking. I think it is important for younger students to learn about their bodies (and the opposite sex's bodies) and that all bodies are perfect, no matter the size, shape, color, so that they understand how the body works and that it's a "private" thing (private as in, no one should be touching them inappropriately and they probably shouldn't be showing each other their hardware on the playground even though I think that's a very kid things to do.) They should be taught to be confident of themselves and their bodies instead of the way we were taught when I was younger (that you don't talk about your body, and it's not something that you share with anyone besides your family. I was lucky in the fact that my Mom was amazing when it came to the difficult stuff, other than, "man I should probably lay off the cookies a little bit", I haven't EVER looked in the mirror and been upset about what I've seen. I've always had confidence *probably over-confidence is more of an issue for me than not enough* and never thought badly of myself, my body image has always been positive, but that certainly wasn't the case for some of the people I went to school with. It was "bad" to be pudgy, when clearly it was far too young to be worrying about that. I think that healthy eating and exercise should be taught too, but not "weight loss" so much as healthy lifestyle, but that's a different conversation) So many little kids refer to their sex organs by silly names, which is fine, IF they know what they are really called, but in this day and age, where child molesters and other child predators are so much more prevalent, I think it's important for a child to understand what's okay and what isn't okay, and how to ask for help if something does happen... and like in the case of my God daughter, if God forbid something happened to her, and she walked up to her teacher and said, "A scary man on the playground touched my Gee (her word for her vagina)" would the teacher necessarily understand the gravity of the situation? Probably, but maybe not. I think this stuff should be taught young, early in elementary school, when they are old enough to understand about their own bodies.

    I think it's probably a still a good idea to teach a more comprehensive sex ed. in middle school, whether or not you retain it when your older, shouldn't really be an issue, because I think and even more informative sex education should be taught in high school. Kids are having sex earlier and earlier, is it because we are teaching sex ed earlier? Could be, but either way, kids have access to SO MUCH more information now with the internet being available on EVERYTHING everywhere, that they're going to find out, and they should find out the correct information, not something that they find written on the internet (or through porn) I think it should be stressed that the emotions associated with sexual experiences are very adult, and they should wait until they are older, but they should also know how to protect themselves if they do decide to do it anyway.

    In high school, I guess I think it should still be taught as something that they should wait until they find "the one" but safety should be the number one objective, and I think it shouldn't be pushed so much that "sex is bad". My little cousin, she's a woman, 22 years old, just got married, and was a virgin until her wedding night (both her and her husband are very religious, and have been together since elementary school, and decided that they wanted to wait together) she had a very difficult time switching from being a single woman to a married woman where overnight, like the snap of a finger, it's all of a sudden okay to have sex when for the last 20 years she's been taught it's "bad". I don't think that any religion or education *tries* to teach sex as a bad thing, but it ends up coming off that way because it's so hush hush, we shouldn't talk about these things, and should only do it when we are married. Kids should be able to talk about these things openly, and it shouldn't be taught as something to fear (because of religious views, rules, that kind of thing)
    I 100% agree with the bolded. I think, however, this is a tough line to teach. Teaching sex as something that needs to be discussed and talked about openly and not "it's bad" with trying to push students to wait would be something that would be really tough to do. Although this is what I truly agree with. The ultimate question is how would you combine and teach the two?
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    #25
    Quote Originally Posted by CountryStrong View Post
    I 100% agree with the bolded. I think, however, this is a tough line to teach. Teaching sex as something that needs to be discussed and talked about openly and not "it's bad" with trying to push students to wait would be something that would be really tough to do. Although this is what I truly agree with. The ultimate question is how would you combine and teach the two?
    But why do we need to push anything on students? Why can't we just give them facts. Give them all the knowledge they need, including that it's their and only their choice and that they have a right to say 'no' to anything. Why does it have to have an agenda?

    We never were pushed in any direction. We talked about it, got information. And yet, we didn't all go out and have sex the next day...
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    #26
    Quote Originally Posted by Serenity View Post
    But why do we need to push anything on students? Why can't we just give them facts. Give them all the knowledge they need, including that it's their and only their choice and that they have a right to say 'no' to anything. Why does it have to have an agenda?

    We never were pushed in any direction. We talked about it, got information. And yet, we didn't all go out and have sex the next day...
    Would I love for teenagers to wait until they were mature enough to handle sex? Of course. However, do I know that some won't. Yes. I guess my wording is incorrect. I do not think students need to be pushed. I agree that they need to be given all material, but what I do want is a way to make it an open discussion without making it seen as "bad." I just do not know how you have an open conversation with teenagers about sex without making it seem that they are mature enough to handle the potential consequences or emotions that go along with sex.
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    #27
    You guys are awesome Keep the replies coming, some of this I hadn't thought about. I do like the advice to break down the religious reasons. I didn't even think about the "it promotes sex earlier" angle. Mr. Garrison omg DEAD.
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    #28
    Quote Originally Posted by Serenity View Post
    But why do we need to push anything on students? Why can't we just give them facts. Give them all the knowledge they need, including that it's their and only their choice and that they have a right to say 'no' to anything. Why does it have to have an agenda?

    We never were pushed in any direction. We talked about it, got information. And yet, we didn't all go out and have sex the next day...


    Not everyone believes in a "the one" Some people go through their 20's, 30's, and sometimes life sleeping with whomever. With middle schoolers, I feel like the information we give them should be a little more basic, because there are going to be less middle schoolers involved in that kind of relationship - and we don't want to overwhelm the middle schoolers who aren't ready.

    But, once you're in high school, we need to be ready to talk about it openly, and honestly. Talk about the different kinds of emotions that can be involved, sure. But, sometimes those emotions aren't involved. Don't lie. Give facts. Tell kids how to stay safe. Tell kids they need to be honest about their feelings and what they want BEFORE they delve into sex, because that's how they end up hurt. But, allow them to make the choice - allow them to decide what's right for them, their body, and what kind of life they'd like to lead.
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  9. Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
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    #29
    Quote Originally Posted by ChandyPandy View Post
    Hmm. That is interesting to me. I wonder if the sex education is actually the causation of the kids having sex earlier. "Oh if we're safe we can have sex and it will be fine" type of mentality, or if there's some other reason.
    I'm not sure either and I looked around for the study and can't find it. I find the stuff supporting that students who receive comprehensive sex ed have safer sex than students who receive abstinence only but everything I look at says there's not really significant difference in how much they delay having sex.

    BLT I also remember some people getting up in arms a year or so ago because they had kids learning about blowjobs and anal sex in their sex ed classes. So I guess there could be that objection too, like they're ok with their kids learning about sex from a procreation standpoint but not so much from a recreational one.
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    #30
    Quote Originally Posted by CountryStrong View Post
    Would I love for teenagers to wait until they were mature enough to handle sex? Of course. However, do I know that some won't. Yes. I guess my wording is incorrect. I do not think students need to be pushed. I agree that they need to be given all material, but what I do want is a way to make it an open discussion without making it seen as "bad." I just do not know how you have an open conversation with teenagers about sex without making it seem that they are mature enough to handle the potential consequences or emotions that go along with sex.
    Except you can't teach teenagers to wait till they're ready. Mostly because for many things, you don't know if you're ready till you've done it, and I don't just mean sex. And I also think talking about it, and we did talk about all the nasty symptoms of STDs, might give them information to satisfy their curiosity. I don't think talking to teens about sex has to give them the impression they are ready for it. It's just giving them information for when they get to the point where they need it. It also might make it less interesting.

    Isn't it also a fact that abstinence only education leads to more teens pregnancies? So obviously, not talking about it doesn't make them think they're not ready either.

    You make it an open discussion by not lying, by not giving false information or by pushing an agenda. Give them facts. After that, it's up to them. Just one more step to becoming an adult.

    Quote Originally Posted by ChandyPandy View Post


    Not everyone believes in a "the one" Some people go through their 20's, 30's, and sometimes life sleeping with whomever. With middle schoolers, I feel like the information we give them should be a little more basic, because there are going to be less middle schoolers involved in that kind of relationship - and we don't want to overwhelm the middle schoolers who aren't ready.

    But, once you're in high school, we need to be ready to talk about it openly, and honestly. Talk about the different kinds of emotions that can be involved, sure. But, sometimes those emotions aren't involved. Don't lie. Give facts. Tell kids how to stay safe. Tell kids they need to be honest about their feelings and what they want BEFORE they delve into sex, because that's how they end up hurt. But, allow them to make the choice - allow them to decide what's right for them, their body, and what kind of life they'd like to lead.
    I agree! I also agree that information should come age appropriate. Which is why sex education should come up in many school years. Not just once just to have done it.
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