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Thread: S/O Happy Memorial Day

  1. aka Milfon2Wheelz
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    #1

    S/O Happy Memorial Day

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    Taking this from another thread

    Quote Originally Posted by idratherbehiking View Post
    Please dont wish people a "happy" memorial day. It's a day meant to remember service members who have lost their lives. I dont mean that to be harsh but I did want to say something so that you're aware.

    There are a lot of misconceptions about what a recruiter does. And I've noticed some people forget that on top of the actual job of recruiting and all the complicated aspects that go with that, recruiters are responsible for dozens of other kids. Any contact families have with the recruiter after the kid has left to boot is because the recruiter is doing them a courtesy. So please be mindful that he is very busy and if he forgets to relay info to you, then you're just going to need to learn how to be patient and understanding.

    Dh is a recruiter and every once in a while he will have needy GFs calling him about trivial things. It gets old really fast...




    yup. If a recruit is struggling to make it through boot camp, the recruiter has to call him and write him to keep him motivated--No recruiter wants an MCRD discharge. If a recruit drops out of boot then it is the recruiter's fault. If a Marine has med issues or gets discharges during his first enlistment then the first thing they do is investigate the recruiter.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sunbeam View Post
    It is not wrong to say, "Happy Memorial Day." Not everyone finds it offensive.

    For example:

    Navy Pilot: It’s Perfectly OK to Say ‘Happy Memorial Day’ | Observer

    Can it be debated? Sure. Is it worth correcting? I think it's much more like the "Happy Holidays" vs. "Merry Christmas" debate. And I didn't want to derail this thread, but it DID come across as an absolute (universal rule: we all believe this) - "Please don't wish people a happy memorial day."

    and the text of the article so mobile users don't have to open a new tab.

    I am the son, grandson and brother of combat veterans. As a former Navy pilot myself, Memorial Day has special significance. But lately it has become difficult to wish others a “Happy Memorial Day” without drawing fire. Last year, PBS incited an online riot when it posted a Happy Memorial Day banner on its Facebook page. Among the litany of criticisms from readers were comments like “HUGE faux pas,” “Delete this stupid image” and “Totally insensitive.” I have experienced this on a personal level. My usual Happy Memorial Day greeting has increasingly been met with disapproving headshakes. Last year, one especially sullen cashier told me to “Get a clue.”

    I understand. This is a day set aside to honor those who died serving in uniform. Memorial Day is among our oldest holidays, originally conceived in the aftermath of the Civil War. But for many Americans, it has become little more than a three-day weekend, filled with backyard barbecues and door-buster sales. For those who see this day of remembrance being trivialized, it is easy to take offense at the suggestion that there is anything happy about it.
    I do not know a single veteran who expects the country to mark Memorial Day with 24 hours of uninterrupted sadness.


    I do not recall my father or grandfather giving much thought to how they would greet neighbors at our own backyard picnics—it was always “Happy Memorial Day.” Perhaps that is because prior generations needed no reminders about what the holiday signified. My grandfather’s war, WWII, was a national effort, in which everybody sacrificed something. My father’s war, Vietnam, was deeply divisive, but at least everyone knew it was happening. The draft ensured a lot more families had skin in the game.

    Today it is different. Less than 1 percent of Americans have served in Iraq or Afghanistan. The vast majority of civilians do not know anyone who died there. The farther into our national memory these wars recede, the more important it is to maintain reminders of the price paid. That, I suspect, is the underlying reason behind excising the “Happy” out of Memorial Day. But however well intentioned, this attitude does nothing to preserve the memory of those who died defending our way of life. In fact, it does the opposite.

    I do not know a single veteran who expects the country to mark this holiday with 24 hours of uninterrupted sadness. A few years ago, I spent Memorial Day at a military cemetery visiting my grandfather’s grave. Though I was there to grieve, I could not help but recall stories that made me laugh—like when his plane’s emergency raft deployed in flight, and his machine gunner nearly shot off the tail trying to deflate it. Smiling at that memory, I realized I was not alone. All around me was the sound of quiet laughter, as families gathered before simple white headstones to remember loved ones lost. These days, when I reminisce with my buddies about friends who did not come home from war, the stories we most often tell are ones that bring us joy.

    That is how they would want it. When I think about those who have died serving in the military, I remember why they joined in the first place. They did it to defend a way of life, one that includes the pursuit of happiness as a founding ideal.

    To be sure, we could use a bit more reverence on this day. A moment of silence before we dig into our brats. Fewer shopping sprees. But unrelenting grief? None of my buddies would want that. Mattress discounts and pie-eating contests and the freedom to be happy are all part of what they fought and died for.

    This Memorial Day, I will head to the ocean as the sun is coming up. I will spend some time alone, and think about those who never made it back. Then I will return to my wife and kids and be grateful for my life. I will fire up the grill and invite friends over. And I will wish each of them a Happy Memorial Day, knowing full well that this day and the joy it brings are gifts I can never repay. Except, perhaps, by living a life full of happiness as my fallen friends would have wanted.

    Ken Harbaugh is a former Navy pilot. He served as an electronic warfare mission commander and taught naval history at The Citadel. Following his military service, Mr. Harbaugh co-founded The Mission Continues, a nonprofit that empowers veterans to serve in their communities.
    I really like the article and I think it made valid points. Before technology was so commonplace, there was work and then there was family time and weekends were when the lawn got mowed and man-chores got done and holidays were when you caught up with family and neighbors. Memorial Day afforded the opportunity for neighbors and communities to gather and catering and fast food wasn't available so potlucks and barbeques were the most efficient ways to feed everyone. It just made sense to do it that way and the tradition has stayed even though it isn't what is central about the holiday.
  2. Need a shoulder? My PM box is always open!
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    #2
    In the interest of equal opportunity, here's another point of view:

    I’m a veteran, and I hate ‘Happy Memorial Day.’ Here’s why. - The Washington Post

    (It's TL;DR and too much to quote, but here is a snippet:

    I’m frustrated by people all over the country who view the day as anything but a day to remember our WAR DEAD. I hate hearing “Happy Memorial Day.”

    It’s not Veterans Day. It’s not military appreciation day. Don’t thank me for my service. Please don’t thank me for my service. It’s take the time to pay homage to the men and women who died while wearing the cloth of this nation you’re so freely enjoying today, day.
    My viewpoint? It's not an either/or. It's not an absolute. And if someone says, "Happy Memorial Day" to me or "Thank you for your service" to my husband, it's churlish to take offense.

    If I were aware that someone had a particularly strong preference, I would try to honor it. But that's about all.

  3. aka Milfon2Wheelz
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Sunbeam View Post
    In the interest of equal opportunity, here's another point of view:

    I’m a veteran, and I hate ‘Happy Memorial Day.’ Here’s why. - The Washington Post

    (It's TL;DR and too much to quote, but here is a snippet:



    My viewpoint? It's not an either/or. It's not an absolute. And if someone says, "Happy Memorial Day" to me or "Thank you for your service" to my husband, it's churlish to take offense.

    If I were aware that someone had a particularly strong preference, I would try to honor it. But that's about all.

    Agreed. It's like getting offended over someone saying Happy Holidays vs Merry Christmas, the intention of well being is there even if the recipient and deliverer have different opinions about the subject. It isn't worth getting upset over. The ones that get the most upset though seem to be the ones on the "it's a day of grieving and solemnity" team. Also that second article, it seems really exaggerated to me. Reading it the author is considerably bitter and I feel is inflating the details to better support her stance.
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    #4
    I don't think someone who says "Happy Memorial Day" is saying "Happy day all these people died for the country". I think they're just genuinely saying "Have a happy holiday."

  5. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #5
    I think agree with the common theme here. I'm not going to be bothered by people getting it incorrect, but I'm probably not going to say "Happy Memorial Day" either. It's a day of remembrance, but in a world where the military world is very very separate from the civilian world (more so than it ever has been) there's a lot of people who don't "get it" who don't have that connection, who don't understand what it is to loose people close to you to war... Frankly, I'm just glad it's being acknowledged.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rainbow Brite View Post
    There needs to be a blowing rainbows, sunshine, butterflies, and happiness up an asshole smiley.
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    #6
    There's something I read once, about soldiers who gave their lives to defend this country.

    "We should not be sad that such men died. We should be glad that such men lived."

    General George S. Patton, Jr.
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    #7
    It was a happy day for me. In part, it was a happy day because people were willing to die to ensure that happiness. DS is named after his g-gpa who died in Vietnam, and I'm happy to have that legacy in our family. I'll say Happy Memorial Day for life.
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    #8
    I don't wish people a Happy Memorial day and I don't use it as a day to thank living service members for their service.

    I am not, however, a sanctimonious asshole, so I don't care to get self-righteous about what others do with the day. And that's what all the Facebook memes about the differences in holidays seems like to me--a chance to feel superior.

    And honestly, there are funeral wakes that include laughter and drinking and joviality. People remember and observe loss differently. So even someone having a drunken bakcyard BBQ and who dares to feel--*gasp!*--happy on Memorial Day might be doing so in a mindful way.
    Last edited by villanelle; 05-26-2015 at 08:49 AM.
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  9. Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
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    #9
    I try to be really neutral because it seems like it's so easy to offend people. Like at work I just tell people, enjoy your Memorial Day or enjoy the holiday. Nobody's said anything to me about it but I guess if they're planning on spending the day in misery maybe they would.
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    #10
    I used to say happy Memorial Day before I knew the meaning of the holiday. It wasn't until one Memorial Day when one of my FB friends posted an article or blog written by a MilSO who had lost her husband in combat. I don't remember the title of the article and I tried to find it but I couldn't, but it was along the lines of: why you don't wish someone a Happy Memorial Day.

    What she wrote really resonated with me so I quit saying it. However, as I mentioned in the thread that was quoted, I have no problem with people going out and enjoying themselves on Memorial Day. I don't belive everone should spend the day inside quitely sulking (unless that's what they want to do, then by all means...).

    Sunbeam, I honestly never knew there was big debate about wether or not it's appropriate to say "happy" (now i feel like I've been living under a rock ). And, now that I've read it, that article you linked makes a lot of sense.




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