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Thread: Freshman dating a Senior

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    #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tojai View Post
    I do think there is a double standard where people find it more acceptable for the man in the relationship to be the older one, especially if there's a bigger age gap. But it seems across the board not just with teens.

    Personally I don't think it's a big deal though.
    Agree.



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    #12
    It wouldn't fly in my home. Experiences and priorities should be different for a senior and freshman. I'm an equal opportunity hard ass so to me it isn't a double standard, but I could see how in general it could easily be.

    I do have a problem with teenagers being labeled sex offenders for their consensual relationships. While I am not a fan of a 14 or 15 year-old having a sexual relationship with an 18-year-old, in most (not all) cases it is a family matter.
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    #13
    Quote Originally Posted by twistertwin View Post
    I dated a senior too, as a freshman.

    My son is a freshman. If he wanted to date a senior, that's fine as long as we know her. I will not have a double standard like that for our kids.
    This. And if it's a consensual relationship especially in Hs like that imo it would be bullshit if anyone got in trouble over it. She's not preying they go to school together.
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    #14
    Quote Originally Posted by Tojai View Post
    I do think there is a double standard where people find it more acceptable for the man in the relationship to be the older one, especially if there's a bigger age gap. But it seems across the board not just with teens.

    Personally I don't think it's a big deal though.
    This.

    When I was in HS, some people teased me because I was dating a boy one grade below me. One. But it was totally cool to be a senior guy dating a freshman. Yes, there is most definitely a double standard. For a freshman girl to date a senior guy it be NBD. But, for a freshman boy to date a senior girl, that makes the senior girl look bad. And that mentality does carry over into the adult world. There's a stigma attached to older women who date much younger men, While society doesn't think it's as bad for an older man to date a younger woman.

    Quote Originally Posted by Eye View Post
    Does it bother you that she would be charged if they got reported or got caught for this?
    I'm not too familiar with the law; but if his parents are aware of the relationship, then could she be charged with statutory rape? What if she was 18 and he was 17? Would that change anything since he's still a minor?




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    #15
    Quote Originally Posted by idratherbehiking View Post
    This.

    When I was in HS, some people teased me because I was dating a boy one grade below me. One. But it was totally cool to be a senior guy dating a freshman. Yes, there is most definitely a double standard. For a freshman girl to date a senior guy it be NBD. But, for a freshman boy to date a senior girl, that makes the senior girl look bad. And that mentality does carry over into the adult world. There's a stigma attached to older women who date much younger men, While society doesn't think it's as bad for an older man to date a younger woman.



    I'm not too familiar with the law; but if his parents are aware of the relationship, then could she be charged with statutory rape? What if she was 18 and he was 17? Would that change anything since he's still a minor?
    I know in Virginia, the parents can actually press charges on behalf of their child. So can the commonwealth if they deemed necessary.

    I don't think I would care if that was my kid as long as he was safe and smart about it. when I was a freshman I dated a junior. My parents just said be safe.

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    #16
    Quote Originally Posted by the_lepus View Post
    I know in Virginia, the parents can actually press charges on behalf of their child. So can the commonwealth if they deemed necessary.

    I don't think I would care if that was my kid as long as he was safe and smart about it. when I was a freshman I dated a junior. My parents just said be safe.
    Sorry, I worded that wrong. I know parents can file on his behalf, but I wasn't sure if the state could still charge her even if his parents have NO problem with the relationship.




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    #17
    Quote Originally Posted by Eye View Post
    Does it bother you that she would be charged if they got reported or got caught for this?
    Unless they're having sex and someone can prove it, she really wouldn't be reported for anything. Also some states have the "within 3 year rule" which means that if their age is within 3 years (and 15-18 could technically be within 3 years depending on when their birthdays are) then its not statutory. Thats the rule we have in Texas.

    For example, my husband is 29 and I'm 32. AKA I'm 3 yrs older than him. But his birthday is in August and mine is in November, so there are a couple months where I'm only 2 yrs older than him. Thus, if we had dated in HS and I was 18 and he was 15, it wouldn't have been statutory rape because we're within the window.

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    #18
    Meh.. Im used to age gaps and mine is actually worse (5 years haha) the thing that bugs me is that she could be in grade 12 and be 17 but because she is a early bday that makes her 18 and now if they do any sexual activities she could be charged.
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    #19
    I dated seniors as a freshman

    I think it's up to the parents to approve of the relationship, and beyond that it isn't really anybody's business. If they're not having sex, it's whatever to me.
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    #20
    Wouldn't bother me.
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