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Thread: Would you feel slighted?

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    #1

    Shock Would you feel slighted?

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    I am a bit worried about dinner tonight with my friend and her DB. I know that my friend knows about my many allergies, and she's presumably spoken to her DB about them. However, part of me feels worried that someone will order something with shellfish (one of my worst). I've discussed it with DB and he agrees that we will leave if that happens, as I'm off my antihistamines for the week due to testing.

    When do you decide to leave an engagement prematurely? How do you make your exit?
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    #2
    Quote Originally Posted by Lychee View Post
    I am a bit worried about dinner tonight with my friend and her DB. I know that my friend knows about my many allergies, and she's presumably spoken to her DB about them. However, part of me feels worried that someone will order something with shellfish (one of my worst). I've discussed it with DB and he agrees that we will leave if that happens, as I'm off my antihistamines for the week due to testing.

    When do you decide to leave an engagement prematurely? How do you make your exit?
    I would remind them politely, before ordering, about the seriousness of your allergies. If they don't want to comply, leave before ordering.



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    #3
    If it affects your health your friend should understand your leaving. Explain the situation to said friend if you must leave.
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    #4
    If your health/well being is at risk, by all means leave!

    But, I wouldn't make a big deal of your exit. (and then tomorrow call your friend and ask her if she had a nice time)


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    #5
    i don't see why that would be a problem at all. i mean they're aware of your allergies, it wouldn't be rude of you to leave. why would they want you to sit there and suffer?

    i agree with reminding them politely of your allergies before ordering.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crystal View Post
    I would remind them politely, before ordering, about the seriousness of your allergies. If they don't want to comply, leave before ordering.
    I hadn't thought of that, but after the whole eating shrimp tempura in front of me...well, let's just say this should help.

    Quote Originally Posted by amberj View Post
    If it affects your health your friend should understand your leaving. Explain the situation to said friend if you must leave.
    She should, I think she will. I don't know about her DB though...

    Quote Originally Posted by ~Jessica~ View Post
    If your health/well being is at risk, by all means leave!

    But, I wouldn't make a big deal of your exit. (and then tomorrow call your friend and ask her if she had a nice time)
    I wouldn't want to cause a scene, but reactions sometimes can be. I hadn't considered following-up with her either.

    Quote Originally Posted by january View Post
    i don't see why that would be a problem at all. i mean they're aware of your allergies, it wouldn't be rude of you to leave. why would they want you to sit there and suffer?

    i agree with reminding them politely of your allergies before ordering.
    I sat through a dinner once with this friend who had ordered shellfish. It wasn't very fun, and since I have to avoid the medication that sometimes helps...well, I have to be more direct.

    I will definitely mention this to this friend.
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    #7
    May I ask why you feel that you should leave if they order shellfish? I am VERY allergic as well but I have had plenty of pleasant dinners with other people eating it. If we go somewhere that serves it and I with anyone other than immediate family I just remind everyone I don't feel like visiting the ER that evening (makes it less like I am saying they can't do it- just kind of light hearted but makes them aware) & if they order it to please just be cautious and then make sure the waiter is VERY aware that my food needs to be handled separately. Maybe it is just because I love the beach which invariably leads to seafood interaction but I have never felt the need to miss out on a pleasant evening just because of my allergy.
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by princessgwynn View Post
    May I ask why you feel that you should leave if they order shellfish? I am VERY allergic as well but I have had plenty of pleasant dinners with other people eating it. If we go somewhere that serves it and I with anyone other than immediate family I just remind everyone I don't feel like visiting the ER that evening (makes it less like I am saying they can't do it- just kind of light hearted but makes them aware) & if they order it to please just be cautious and then make sure the waiter is VERY aware that my food needs to be handled separately. Maybe it is just because I love the beach which invariably leads to seafood interaction but I have never felt the need to miss out on a pleasant evening just because of my allergy.
    What's happened is that it's gotten to the point of reacting to being around shellfish, not even eating it. That's what got me hospitalized the first time. My coworker had heated something with shrimp in it and it was swelling my throat. I had previously just avoided eating it but after that it was game over. That's why I am usually really cautious about eating in restaurants period. I can feel it in my lips.

    What’s the Scoop on Airborne Seafood Reactions? | Allergic Living

    Kind of explains it. This has led to "experiments" by people and exposures to scallops and other shellfish because I can't "react" to the smell alone. It got really old and really expensive really fast.
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    #9
    I don't really have any advice that hasn't already been said, so many to you.
    Good luck!
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    #10
    I feel like this is one of those situations where YOU are your best advocate. Don't assume that your friend has spoken to her DB about it, I would say something (politely of course) before anything is ordered so they understand the situation. And that way if you have to leave it won't turn into this big thing where you're trying to explain while making a polite exit, they will know what has happened.
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