First time in debates (cheating) - Debates

Ma*Becca · 10-30-2009, 04:41 PM

Do you think its possible that a spouse can put the idea of cheating in the other spouses head?

Example: A wife accuses her husband of fooling around with a co-worker but nothing has happened between them, do you think if she keeps bringing up the subject she is planting the idea in his head and he could possibly look at his co-worker in an inappropriate manor/have an affair?

I'm Boom · 10-30-2009, 04:43 PM

It's possible.

Ellie · 10-30-2009, 04:44 PM

I think so in a way.
it can definately make a guy wonder "what would it be like to have an affair with that person?" so they're thinking about it.
Also they guy could be like "we'll she's accusing me of cheating so I might as well"

I guess it depends on the guy.

littlebird · 10-30-2009, 04:45 PM

No. His actions are his actions. If her distrust is a problem, then he needs to say something and they as a couple need to work on it. But he is ultimately responsible for his own actions.

jessica.erin · 10-30-2009, 04:45 PM

Originally Posted by Ellie

I think so in a way.
it can definately make a guy wonder "what would it be like to have an affair with that person?" so they're thinking about it.
Also they guy could be like "we'll she's accusing me of cheating so I might as well"
I guess it depends on the guy.

bb1982 · 10-30-2009, 04:46 PM

if he's a complete d-bag then yes.

Seriously though, I understand what you're getting at. If you call someone stupid long enough, they are going to start believing it, that kind of mentality, right?

But even though the wife/gf/fiance has been pushing the subject too much (probaby due to her own insecurities) it would not push a good man to actually doing it. Only a complete asshat would.

Ma*Becca · 10-30-2009, 04:48 PM

Originally Posted by littlebird

No. His actions are his actions. If her distrust is a problem, then he needs to say something and they as a couple need to work on it. But he is ultimately responsible for his own actions.

I agree they are his actions but my question was, do you think its possible to implant the idea in his head? Because she accuses him of it.

Ma*Becca · 10-30-2009, 04:50 PM

[QUOTE=bb1982;6205851]if he's a complete d-bag then yes.

Seriously though, I understand what you're getting at. If you call someone stupid long enough, they are going to start believing it, that kind of mentality, right?

But even though the wife/gf/fiance has been pushing the subject too much (probaby due to her own insecurities) it would not push a good man to actually doing it. Only a complete asshat would.[/QUOTE]

little.lili · 10-30-2009, 04:52 PM

I generally feel that cheating is a 2 way street. Something in the relationship isn't "right" when cheating occurs. And it is the responsibility of both parts to solve big issues before they escalate to cheating. JMHO.

villanelle · 10-30-2009, 04:58 PM

I don't think it works quite like I think you are describing in your thread. "Hmmm, Wife thinks I am cheating with Secretary. Now that she mentions it, Secretary really is pretty hot, and maybe wife sees some kind of attraction that I hadn't really paid attention to before. Hey, Secretary, wanna give me a BJ in the storage closet?"

But I do think that if you feel untrusted in your relationship (which frequent cheating accusations is sure to cause), there is bound to be an emotional disconnect, which can help grease the wheels of cheating. Further, I think that when there is no trust, the motivation to not stray because you don't want to break trust just isn't there.

FTR, I am nto excusing in any way the cheating of a spouse jsut because their partner is jealous and accuses them of infidelity. But given human nature, I do think those accusations can make it more likely to happen. Cheating accusations can bring out latent douchbaggery.

10-30-2009, 04:41 PM	#1 (permalink)
Ma*Becca Yours, Mine and Ours Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: San Diego Posts: 6,690 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 25% Longevity: 30%	First time in debates (cheating) Do you think its possible that a spouse can put the idea of cheating in the other spouses head? Example: A wife accuses her husband of fooling around with a co-worker but nothing has happened between them, do you think if she keeps bringing up the subject she is planting the idea in his head and he could possibly look at his co-worker in an inappropriate manor/have an affair? __________________ Loving my big blended family

10-30-2009, 04:44 PM	#3 (permalink)
Ellie boink Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Pensacola, FL Posts: 3,595 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 94% Longevity: 12%	I think so in a way. it can definately make a guy wonder "what would it be like to have an affair with that person?" so they're thinking about it. Also they guy could be like "we'll she's accusing me of cheating so I might as well" I guess it depends on the guy. __________________ Wifey to savvy<3dizzy and PFCCJCgirl If life was easy where would all the adventures be? Facebook

10-30-2009, 04:45 PM	#4 (permalink)
littlebird this bird can't sing when you've tied her wings Join Date: May 2009 Location: Me: Wyoming Posts: 2,600 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 60% Longevity: 9%	No. His actions are his actions. If her distrust is a problem, then he needs to say something and they as a couple need to work on it. But he is ultimately responsible for his own actions. __________________ C-3PO: "Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately 3,720 to 1!" Han Solo: "Never tell me the odds." Not fooled by the media.

10-30-2009, 04:46 PM	#6 (permalink)
bb1982 just call me Brando Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: soon to be Kbay, Hawaii!! Posts: 1,706 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 35% Longevity: 12%	if he's a complete d-bag then yes. Seriously though, I understand what you're getting at. If you call someone stupid long enough, they are going to start believing it, that kind of mentality, right? But even though the wife/gf/fiance has been pushing the subject too much (probaby due to her own insecurities) it would not push a good man to actually doing it. Only a complete asshat would. __________________

10-30-2009, 04:50 PM	#8 (permalink)
Ma*Becca Yours, Mine and Ours Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: San Diego Posts: 6,690 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 25% Longevity: 30%	[QUOTE=bb1982;6205851]if he's a complete d-bag then yes. Seriously though, I understand what you're getting at. If you call someone stupid long enough, they are going to start believing it, that kind of mentality, right? But even though the wife/gf/fiance has been pushing the subject too much (probaby due to her own insecurities) it would not push a good man to actually doing it. Only a complete asshat would.[/QUOTE] __________________ Loving my big blended family

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10-30-2009, 04:43 PM	#2 (permalink)
I'm Boom Account Closed Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 3,303 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 27% Longevity: 18%	It's possible.

10-30-2009, 04:52 PM	#9 (permalink)
little.lili .boricua. Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Oklahoma City Posts: 2,483 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 84% Longevity: 32%	I generally feel that cheating is a 2 way street. Something in the relationship isn't "right" when cheating occurs. And it is the responsibility of both parts to solve big issues before they escalate to cheating. JMHO. __________________ Dreaming of a 2011 BABY

10-30-2009, 04:58 PM	#10 (permalink)
villanelle Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 420 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 54% Longevity: 4%	I don't think it works quite like I think you are describing in your thread. "Hmmm, Wife thinks I am cheating with Secretary. Now that she mentions it, Secretary really is pretty hot, and maybe wife sees some kind of attraction that I hadn't really paid attention to before. Hey, Secretary, wanna give me a BJ in the storage closet?" But I do think that if you feel untrusted in your relationship (which frequent cheating accusations is sure to cause), there is bound to be an emotional disconnect, which can help grease the wheels of cheating. Further, I think that when there is no trust, the motivation to not stray because you don't want to break trust just isn't there. FTR, I am nto excusing in any way the cheating of a spouse jsut because their partner is jealous and accuses them of infidelity. But given human nature, I do think those accusations can make it more likely to happen. Cheating accusations can bring out latent douchbaggery.