Other people instilling their values in your children

[Aunt Sponge]

If someone was invited into your home for one reason or another (relative staying for a weekend, coming into your home to baby sit your kids, etc) and they had values different than your own and they tried to instill their values on your children how would you deal with it?

I'll give some examples:

1) A babysitter is a vegitarian and she refuses to feed the children meat eventhough you have no problems with them eating meat. How do you handle things when you find out that she's been insisting on a strict vegetarian diet without your consent or knowledge.

2) Your brother in law is not a Christian, and you are, and during a stay at your home he tries to instill in secular Christmas values on your children when you're not around (Santa, etc).

3) Your mother is more "loose" with how to take care of your kids than you are. You're strict with some rules - one being that you don't let them use knives to cut their meat. When you're not there your mother lets your children use knives and one is cut. How do you deal with this situation?

[Jennifer Lynn]

I won't mind people SHARING their beliefs with my children. If my baby sitter is a vegetarian, and doesn't want to cook with meat, and tells my kids, "This is why I don't eat or use it," its fine. But if she tells my kids they're bad for eating meat, I'd be upset.

If my brother was a Christian, and came over for dinner and told my kids, "I believe Jesus blah blah blah," I won't care. But my kids will not be practicing Christian traditions until they decide they want to for themselves.

The last one: If I say my kids aren't allowed to use knives, they aren't allowed to use knives. Period.

[Truegrits81]

1. She's fired.
2. Tell him not to do the **** again.
3. I don't argue with my mama lol. I'd probably say something along the lines of "This is why they don't get knives."

[rosebud*]

Originally Posted by Jennifer Lynn I won't mind people SHARING their beliefs with my children. If my baby sitter is a vegetarian, and doesn't want to cook with meat, and tells my kids, "This is why I don't eat or use it," its fine. But if she tells my kids they're bad for eating meat, I'd be upset. If my brother was a Christian, and came over for dinner and told my kids, "I believe Jesus blah blah blah," I won't care. But my kids will not be practicing Christian traditions until they decide they want to for themselves. The last one: If I say my kids aren't allowed to use knives, they aren't allowed to use knives. Period.

this.
and if people weren't following my wishes then goodbye

[Miss.Maggie]

Originally Posted by Aunt Sponge If someone was invited into your home for one reason or another (relative staying for a weekend, coming into your home to baby sit your kids, etc) and they had values different than your own and they tried to instill their values on your children how would you deal with it? I'll give some examples: 1) A babysitter is a vegitarian and she refuses to feed the children meat eventhough you have no problems with them eating meat. How do you handle things when you find out that she's been insisting on a strict vegetarian diet without your consent or knowledge. 2) Your brother in law is not a Christian, and you are, and during a stay at your home he tries to instill in secular Christmas values on your children when you're not around (Santa, etc). 3) Your mother is more "loose" with how to take care of your kids than you are. You're strict with some rules - one being that you don't let them use knives to cut their meat. When you're not there your mother lets your children use knives and one is cut. How do you deal with this situation?

1. If she does not want to cook meat, fine but they better be eating something healthy. However I would be upset if she went all PETA on
them and used graphic pics or language to tell them about why she
does not eat meat.

2. I want to expose my kids to all sorts of cultures and religions so this
would not upset me so much, however it depends on how they do it.
Telling them X is THE right thing and what you believe is wrong would not fly

3. All hell would break loose.

[Jayo]

I'll watch this thread. I'm actually up againist this in a different way. We live in the bible belt. We are not churchgoers. Around here that is treated as if you were a felon. My dd's v-ball coach insists they attend her church on Sundays. My dd feels as if she doesn't go she's be shunned from the rest of the team.

I'll be reading the responses to this, that's for sure.

[Jenn026]

Originally Posted by Aunt Sponge If someone was invited into your home for one reason or another (relative staying for a weekend, coming into your home to baby sit your kids, etc) and they had values different than your own and they tried to instill their values on your children how would you deal with it? I'll give some examples: 1) A babysitter is a vegitarian and she refuses to feed the children meat eventhough you have no problems with them eating meat. How do you handle things when you find out that she's been insisting on a strict vegetarian diet without your consent or knowledge. 2) Your brother in law is not a Christian, and you are, and during a stay at your home he tries to instill in secular Christmas values on your children when you're not around (Santa, etc). 3) Your mother is more "loose" with how to take care of your kids than you are. You're strict with some rules - one being that you don't let them use knives to cut their meat. When you're not there your mother lets your children use knives and one is cut. How do you deal with this situation?

As far as children in the future that I may have:

1) Honestly if i hired a babysitter and she refused to cook meat and didn't tell me in advance and I found out later, i'd probably fire her. I wouldn't like finding out later when she could have just told me in the first place and let me decide if that would be a problem. If she told me in the first place, as long as she made sure there meals were properly balances, i wouldn't care.

2) As long as things were expressed in a "this is what i believe manner" I wouldn't care. If they were expressed in a "this is fact" manner I would correct him and inform my children that lots of people believe different things, etc.

3) I would be livid. I would let my mother know that I have rules for a reason, as she can plainly see by one of them being cut. My rules need to be followed when they are in another persons care, end of story.

[Miss.Maggie]

Originally Posted by Jayo I'll watch this thread. I'm actually up againist this in a different way. We live in the bible belt. We are not churchgoers. Around here that is treated as if you were a felon. My dd's v-ball coach insists they attend her church on Sundays. My dd feels as if she doesn't go she's be shunned from the rest of the team. I'll be reading the responses to this, that's for sure.

That would piss me off.

[Wicked]

Well, just because someone is not a vegetarian, that doesn't mean they don't eat vegetables, so if my babysitter was a vegetarian and wanted to just feed my kids vegetarian meals, I would be okay with that. I don't see what the big deal is with that. Kids eating veggies is good right?

I would never invite someone who has religious beliefs that I don't want my children exposed to into my house, and I would never let someone tell my kids what they SHOULD believe, they can only share what they believe to explain, not to convert.

No knives means no knives. That is a safety issue, not an issue for beliefs.

[CubLub63]

1. The babysitter is fired.

2. He can tell them whatever he wants. When it comes to beliefs, everyone has a right to say what they want and choose which way to go.

3. I'd confront her right away. Grandma needs to know the rules just as much as anyone.