That little word 'ours'

[sdshorty]

I've been with dh for almost 6 years, and we've been married about 2.5years, and we still have a hard time calling certain things 'ours'. It goes for both of us, like most things we see as 'ours', like our apartment, our electronics, our dvd's, our stuff in 'our' house. However, I like having MY money, I like having MY car, I like having MY stuff. I know DH definitely does also. When we get or paychecks, it doesn't go into 'our' account, we each have our own checking account and savings account. We each have our own credit card. We each have our own money to spend as we please. We of course make sure bills are paid first and have access to each other's accounts and all that good stuff, but we like having our own stuff. I feel there is too much pressure for everything to be 'ours'. Are we the only ones? I could say, well maybe things will change, but I don't think so. Do you feel that everything in a relationship/marriage needs to have the 'ours' label?

[MichelleB]

No, I don't feel like everything needs to be 'ours'. I was an only child so, here comes the spoiled side of me. When it comes to money I see it as ours. When one of us gets money for Christmas or a birthday we're both very "mine, mine, mine". We both have our own cars, our own computers, and our own seperate little things. I think of the house as 'ours", as well as most of the stuff in it because we built this family and home together. We share a bank account now just because we got tired of keeping up with two seperate ones. But I don't see anything wrong with each of us having our own things. Yes, we're married and partners, but we're still individuals.

[Debra]

We've been together for 9 1/2 years (married a little over 8). I think it's fair to say that everything is "ours" now!

[*Dawn*]

I actually like having an "ours" if I wanted everything for just me I would of stayed single. Sure we each have a couple of things that are just our own, like our Ipods and we each have our own cars but the are still "ours" in reality. As for my own money I don't need it, if either one of us needs something we usually just go get it or even if Aaron needs something. I don't think I need a seperate account just to have my own money. Both of our funds get placed into the same account and we use it for our household.

[harrisonsdream]

dh and i plan on having a joint account for our "bill" money. we intend on having a joint savings as well to make sure that his "extra" money, i.e. separation, sea pay, sub pay, what have you, goes there for our new house fund, rainy day money. we will have separate accounts also but each have access to them. there is no problem having stuff with a MY label but i believe that marriage isn't just 50/50 its 100/100. i believe that they should have access to everything just in case of an emergency but they should be able to respect your privacy as an individual even though you are married and allow you to have your personal money, car, etc etc

[CoffeeGirl]

we choose to use that term & look at things that way-we want it to be "OURS"

[Sophie*]

Everything except chocolate is 'ours'

[wolfspawprint]

We've been married a little over a year now and everything is ours.

[NavyChiefs_Wife]

we have our own seperate little things but when it comes to the money it's "ours", the apartment is "ours" and so are the cars. everything is "ours" except for like little things like certain movies or my little knick knacks. just little small stuff like that.

[Caimbrie]

Everything is "ours" accept for the vehicles. He had his car before we met and the Expedition was bought for me. Even though I do refer to the expedition as ours a lot since it's the family vehicle.