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Thread: Your education vs. your child's development. Is this scenario fair?

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    #1

    Your education vs. your child's development. Is this scenario fair?

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    Here's the scenario:

    You are a single mom receiving monthly child support payments from your child's father. The court has appointed these payments to be large enough that they are to include a portion of the costs for food, clothing, hygienic needs, basic medical care, and educational costs for the child.

    You are unemployed and are not actively seeking employment. Your child is a toddler who is not in any sort of daycare, pre-K or educational/social skills programs. You, however, are a part-time student working on getting your Bachelor's degree. You claim that you cannot afford to put your child in an educational program or social program that will better prepare them to be successful in kindergarten.

    Is this fair? Should your education come before that of your child? Should you be a single, un-employed mom with no extra income to assist should your child require extra care?

    And my biggest question... what about this hypothetical mom having primary custody of the child? Are their goals/priorities aligned with the responsibilities of this sort of legal "right"?

    ETA that in this "hypothetical" situation .... the child is NOT socialized. The child stays at home and is socialized with adult family members and *some* children maybe, MAYBE, once per week...? *maybe*.
  2. Am
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    #2
    I say yes because the education of the mom will better benefit the child in the long run. There are always free socializing scenarios for toddlers (churches or even just friend's children).
  3. Amy
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    Well, I have mixed feelings on this. By earning an education, the single mom will be better able to support her child in the future. But, it's so, so, SO important that children receive a good preschool education.
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    Edited the OP a little after Carolina's response. She brought up a good point that I left out of the scenario.
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    i have mixed feelings as well, but i think she should be using the money from the father to do something for the child. and taking out student loans to finish her degree, because that too is important for the child.

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    Quote Originally Posted by CarolinaHokie View Post
    I say yes because the education of the mom will better benefit the child in the long run. There are always free socializing scenarios for toddlers (churches or even just friend's children).
    However, in this situation it sounds like the mom should also work on socializing the child more.
  7. Amy
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    It doesn't seem right that the child support that should go to the child's education is going to the mom's instead.
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    #8
    Do I get an opinion on my own "debates" topic?

    Clearly, this bothers me. This situation that is. In my own very personal opinion, I cannot see how a mom could not do both. How can she say that she uses all of the child support money she is given monthly for the child when A)she's unemployed and hasn't had a job in over 1 year and B) the child participates in no extra-curricular activities. I see this scenario as highly selfish on the mom's part and I do believe her priorities need to be realigned.

    However... just because I feel so strongly does not mean my opinion is the majority. Which is why this is in debates. So thank you in advance for your opinions and input!
  9. Am
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    Quote Originally Posted by s. rosa View Post
    However, in this situation it sounds like the mom should also work on socializing the child more.
    If the child was socialized in another manner I'd think it'd be okay. Given that this hypothetical mother doesn't seem to even try to socialize the child, her education seems like an improper use of funds.
  10. Am
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    Quote Originally Posted by my.hero's.mrs View Post
    Do I get an opinion on my own "debates" topic?

    Clearly, this bothers me. This situation that is. In my own very personal opinion, I cannot see how a mom could not do both. How can she say that she uses all of the child support money she is given monthly for the child when A)she's unemployed and hasn't had a job in over 1 year and B) the child participates in no extra-curricular activities. I see this scenario as highly selfish on the mom's part and I do believe her priorities need to be realigned.
    How is this mother living...without employment I mean? Is the child support her only income?
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