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Thread: S/O If your husband or wife was cheating on you...

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    CrankyDiva's Avatar
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    #1

    S/O If your husband or wife was cheating on you...

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    Would you want the other "person" to be the one to tell you about the affair? Would you be grateful that she came forward? Would you perceive her action as more of revenge against your husband more than trying to inform you of a bad situation? Would you be thankful or angry?

    I am asking due to a thread in the general section. I am generall interested in learning how people feel on this issue, but please let me know if I have committed any faux pas by bringing these questions here.
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    #2
    I would hope my SO would man up and tell me himself.

    But if not, I would appreciate knowing, though I don't know how I would react towards the messenger. IF they knew of my existence before the cheating occurred...there could be a confrontation of sorts, if she was clueless, I think would be going out to get some Ben and Jerry's together and plotting our revenge.
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    #3
    I can only go by past experiences and say that I would have been very grateful if any of the men or women that my ex-husband cheated with had told me- it might have opened my eyes earlier. However, that was not a happy relationship. My marriage now is extremely happy. My husband would not cheat. If he did, I don't know if I would want to know, and I definitely don't know if I would want to know from the woman with whom he was having an affair. I would probably see her coming forward as vengeful, rather than out of genuine concern for me. But... I don't know.
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    My opinion is that the person has no obligation to me.
    My observation is that the great majority of people would not only not believe the other person, but accuse them of lying, trying to break up the marriage, being jelous, etc.
    If you want my opinion on your relationship or life issues, just ask Villanelle!
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    #5
    I want whomever knows to tell me and than if it is not my husband I will confront them.
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    #6
    I dont know, I think I would want my husband to tell me.
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    #7
    I could care less how I find out, if it ever happened James would blink and I would be gone, and not coming back.
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by CrankyDiva View Post
    Would you want the other "person" to be the one to tell you about the affair? Would you be grateful that she came forward? Would you perceive her action as more of revenge against your husband more than trying to inform you of a bad situation? Would you be thankful or angry?

    I am asking due to a thread in the general section. I am generall interested in learning how people feel on this issue, but please let me know if I have committed any faux pas by bringing these questions here.


    I'd rather find out on my own and not know who she is or have anything to do with her- if I put a name/face to the entity that person is damned to hell forever.
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    #9
    Personally I would never 100% believe the "other woman" I would require my own evidence.... let me explain why.... this is going to be LOOONNNGGGG so sorry in advance!

    We were great friends with this other officer and he started dating yet another officer. (sorry I should clarify that DH is a cop for his civilian job... so I mean police officer not mlitary officer! ) She was crazy and would attack him and was verbally and physically abusive, etc. When the our friend decided to leave her, DH went over to help him move out. She went nuts and told Kenny that she would F#$% his world up.... said that she would call me and tell me that he had been cheating on me.... said that she was going to take everything he cared about away from him, like he was trying to do to her.... basically she was one screwy biotch. So anyway, I think that there can be some circumstances that would cause girls to lie... so you have to rely on yourself to find out if it's true or not.

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