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Thread: punishment opinions

  1. Darkly Dreaming Dexter
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    #1

    punishment opinions

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    Every time someone questions another parent's punishment choices and says 'i'd NEVER do that, that's horrible" or whatever i can't help but wonder just WHAT do you do?

    If you don't spank then what?
    If you don't take away food, then what?

    What are you, overall, against and why?

    spanking, grounding, time-out, making them read a book, writing lines.

    I look at some people being against soem thing that I do and I wonder just what on earth is LEFT and just how "angelic" are you kids if you've never exhausted all your options nad hd to do somethign out of the ordinary? (this last part's just a joke - I don't want people to take it personally. )
    Last edited by Aunt Sponge; 03-16-2009 at 09:19 AM.
  2. I got all this, and personality too.
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    #2
    I don't have kids, but DH and I have talked about this already. We're both fine with spanking, grounding, taking away toys and food (if they are throwing food, or refusing to eat, etc. Not "you don't get dinner because you made a bad grade" or anything). Until it gets to the point of abuse, we're fine with physical and "taking away" punishments.

    But we're kinda old fashioned, I guess.
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  3. Senior Member
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    #3
    eh I don't put too much stock in other people's opinions on my parenting decisions. I just don't.
    What I'm doing works for me and it won't work for other's. If they think things I do are awful well that's on them. Good for them. Doesn't mean I'll stop..
  4. Old Newbie
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    #4
    I am totally for a good o fashion spanking. I am 31 and I still can remember reasons why I got spanked. Obviously it worked because I remember. DB is totally against it and so we often run into a problem because when I am ready to spank he is ready to jump in and say "you don't need to spank them just take things away from them"
  5. Senior Member
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    #5
    This is a tough one, because I feel like Berkley. What works with your family may not work with others. I think as long as the child isn't in danger and is being well taken care of then it shouldn't matter what the parent does for discipline.
  6. Death Before Decaf!!
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    #6
    I'm not against spanking, but I don't do it anymore because it just makes me feel like crap and it doesn't work with my four year old. Time outs work now, where they didn't used to. Standing in the corner PISSES HER OFF. I don't agree with the hunger-as-punishment argument, but primarily because I am wary of using food as a barganing chip. So to answer the question, I'm against hunger-as-punishment, and I'm against locking your kids in the closet. Aside from that, you have to do what works for your child...
    "Wine is proof that God loves us and wants to see us happy."
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  7. Lawrence Family
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    #7
    im a new mom , i was spanked occasionally when i deserved it , and im okay . I dont want to spank my son, i just think how can i tell him not to hit and then spank him... It sounds silly when you think about it , but i think it all depends on what works for each person. As long as you are not mentally , physically, emotionally hurting your child.
    Well behaved women rarely make history
  8. Formerly known as coloradokitkat
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    #8
    http://www.loveandlogic.com/

    Dh and I actually just went to a parenting seminar this last weekend and we learned a lot about how differently people raise their children. We had a little 'class' on this Love and Logic style of parenting and it was actually really interesting. It's all about giving your children choices and kind of 'tricking' them in to getting them to do what you want them to do. It was taught by a 7th grade teacher and it was very educational.

    It was cool to see and hear what other parents do and have done with their children as opposed to what we do and have done with DD. I know we aren't bad parents and neither were any of the parents who were there, we just had different techniques. There were a few times where someone would say how they deal with their child in a specific situation (i.e. deployment, grocery store, etc.) and DH and I would look at each other and say "that's a really good idea! we'll have to remember that". But honestly if not's an issue of child abuse or complete neglect, who am I to judge another mother's technique? I can say I wouldn't do it with my child, maybe, but if it works for her than it works for her. If it's not broken, don't try to fix it (ESPECIALLY if it's not your technique and child)
  9. Senior Member
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    #9
    I'm not saying my son is perfect or anything, but I have never had to resort to anything like needing to take away food.
    For him, usually a warning is enough to make him act better, and occasionally I have taken away his computer game/DS or whatever.

    He has always been very easy-going, so I have never had to reach that point where I felt like nothing worked.
    Usually just talking to him works really well.
    We don't spank because I personally do not believe in it (I am from Sweden where spanking is not done and is actually against the law) and because I don't think it would be effective anyway.

    I try not to judge other people's parenting because I am not living their lives and know what they and their kids are going through.
  10. Death Before Decaf!!
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    #10
    Both my SIL and her husband, and my BIL and his wife (not the same people ) have gone through love and logic, and said it was great. We had a class offered at our church but the timing didn't work for us. Maybe next time - I'm really interested in it
    "Wine is proof that God loves us and wants to see us happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin~
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