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Thread: Asking the father's permission to get married

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    #1

    Asking the father's permission to get married

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    What do you think about a man asking his future father in law for permission to wed his daughter? Do you see it as a respectful gesture, or more of an outdated tradition? What about "giving away" the girl at the wedding?

    My opinion is that it is outdated, and makes the woman seem a bit like property. When I told my dad we were getting married he said, "Well, I hope he does the right thing and asks me for permission" and I went off on my dad about how I'm not a cow to be traded off, how neither of us needed permission to wed, etc. My dad quickly changed his mind and said he didn't realize how it sounded from my side. And for the ceremony, the officiant said, "Who presents this woman to this man?" and my dad replied, "Her mother and I" instead of "Who gives this woman to this man". Maybe I'm just too modern or something, but it was a really big deal to me that I not look like some bystander in a transaction between DH and my dad.
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    #2
    I think it's respectful and adorable and old-fashioned, but by no means necessary. It's not 1912
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    #3
    My DF asked for my parents' blessing instead of 'permission.' And when my mom and dad BOTH walk me down the aisle, it will be like they are entrusting me to DF, not just 'giving me away.' I like the idea of the tradition, but not the 'property' association of it. I agree....I'm not something to be traded or bought.
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    #4
    I think its really sweet and respectful.However in my family its not a big deal.Although Dh did ask my father but thats just my hubby.
    ~MommaJ~

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    #5
    It's a nice gesture, but if my dad said no, it would have no bearing. I didn't have anyone walk me down the aisle because I don't like feeling like an object being given from one man to another.
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    #6
    And it is respectful. I like that part of it.
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    #7
    I personally think it is a traditional thing to do and I am all for it. I do not see it as me being property of someone but rather the daughter of a man who deserves that respect. I believe that a husband is the man that will talke care of you just as for me my father took care of me. Everyone has their own beliefs and I am sharing mine.
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    #8
    Yeah it bugs me to especially the asking the permission thing. Once you are old enough to get married you no longer need Daddy's permission for anything.

    The giving away part that has never bothered me as much but I do like the presents thing better.
  9. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Loretta View Post
    I think it's respectful and adorable and old-fashioned, but by no means necessary. It's not 1912
    ITA! i just think its a lovely tradition and im so pleased Ryan asked my daddy.
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    #10
    I think its very respectful but it just depends on the family. My DH asked my dad's permission, they talked for 2 hours when he asked, they still won't tell me or my mom what they talked about, lol. As for giving the bride away, my parents gave me away
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