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Thread: day care?

  1. Mom to Rebekah
    Miss.Maggie's Avatar
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    #1

    day care?

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    I have heard both sides of the debate at times,

    Yes, it is good for a child to be in day care.

    no, not good for the child.

    (I was watching a DVRed episode of wife swap and thought of this)

    one wife was in tears when she found out that the other wifes daughter goes to daycare, and the day care'n mama was overwhelmed by having the kids around all the time.

    I know it boils down to a personal decision, but in YOUR opinion
    which is best for a child....in general, do you think it is better for mom
    to stay home (if they can afford it)
    or to have a child in day care?

    (I do not have kids, and this may be kinda informative for me)
    Mom to Rebekah
    Tree hugging, peace loving, hippie.
    I love you when you bow in your mosque, kneel in your temple, pray in your church.
    For you and I are sons of one religion, and it is the spirit.
    Khalil Gibran
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    #2
    Quote Originally Posted by iowa_lady View Post
    I have heard both sides of the debate at times,

    Yes, it is good for a child to be in day care.

    no, not good for the child.

    (I was watching a DVRed episode of wife swap and thought of this)

    one wife was in tears when she found out that the other wifes daughter goes to daycare, and the day care'n mama was overwhelmed by having the kids around all the time.

    I know it boils down to a personal decision, but in YOUR opinion
    which is best for a child....in general, do you think it is better for mom
    to stay home (if they can afford it)
    or to have a child in day care?

    (I do not have kids, and this may be kinda informative for me)
    Both.

    A PARENT should be with the child as long as financially possible to build a level of trust with the child. EVERYTHING to a newborn is new, and a level of consistency is paramount in building a mentally safe environment. After about a year, the child should be mentally secure enough to go to day care, on a set schedule, and for longer and longer times. In a perfect world, anyway.
  3. Give me my coffee and no one gets hurt
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    #3
    Honestly, every family is different so I don't think there's a clear cut "winner". My parents divorced when I was REALLY young. My mom worked so I was in daycare starting at age 2. The only "bad" things for me were that I broke my leg when I was 4 there (as I stated in another thread, partially my fault, partially poor supervision) and that by the time I finished college, I had been in some sort of school atmosphere for TWENTY years. I was burnt out.

    DH and I decided that I would stay home with the kids. It's what works best for us. Plus, even with a BA, pretty much all the income I made would go to daycare.

    For other families, both parents want or need to work so they use daycare. It's what's best for them. I give a lot of credit to working moms. I think I'd lose my mind after working all day and then coming home and doing everything that needed to be done for the house and kids.

    Soooo, to make a really long story short, for us, me staying at home is better, but I don't knock other families that think daycare is better.
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    #4
    I started going to day care when I was 4 months old. I turned out fine ..... maybe.
  5. Mom to Rebekah
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Hatetank View Post
    Both.

    A PARENT should be with the child as long as financially possible to build a level of trust with the child. EVERYTHING to a newborn is new, and a level of consistency is paramount in building a mentally safe environment. After about a year, the child should be mentally secure enough to go to day care, on a set schedule, and for longer and longer times. In a perfect world, anyway.
    thanks,

    since df and I have been talking about children, all these
    little mental freak outs have been happening.
    Mom to Rebekah
    Tree hugging, peace loving, hippie.
    I love you when you bow in your mosque, kneel in your temple, pray in your church.
    For you and I are sons of one religion, and it is the spirit.
    Khalil Gibran
  6. Happy wife...happy life!
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by iowa_lady View Post
    I have heard both sides of the debate at times,

    Yes, it is good for a child to be in day care.

    no, not good for the child.

    (I was watching a DVRed episode of wife swap and thought of this)

    one wife was in tears when she found out that the other wifes daughter goes to daycare, and the day care'n mama was overwhelmed by having the kids around all the time.

    I know it boils down to a personal decision, but in YOUR opinion
    which is best for a child....in general, do you think it is better for mom
    to stay home (if they can afford it)
    or to have a child in day care?

    (I do not have kids, and this may be kinda informative for me)
    FOR US, it is better to be a SAHM...

    Now we will be putting Ethan in Pre-K, but I do not consider that to be daycare...

    I prefer Mother's Day Outs or Pre-K, where children are taught according to a curriculum, and not just "babysat."

  7. Amy
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    #7
    Whichever works best for the family. I would not want to be a SAHM because I'm type A personality and I am not happy staying at home- I always have to be on the move, always need to be busy.

    I think what is most important if you are going to send your child to school is making sure that it is offering a strong educational background for them...make sure they are exposed to what they need. Low turnover rates of staff is important, education in child development is very important. I will never send my daughter to a school that is not NAEYC accredited- there can be a HUGE difference in the quality of care and education, and relationships with teachers.

    If you want to stay home with your children, great! Here, I think the most important thing is making sure, again, that your child is exposed to what they need to be. Don't just sit down on the couch and watch television with them, make sure they are around other children, etc. If you are a SAHM your job is not only to see to it that your children are safe and taken care of, but also to make sure that they are going to be prepared for school.

    Parents should be advocates for their children. No matter what they decide is best for them, they need to take the steps necessary to make sure their children are given everything they needed (physically, mentally, emotionally, socially). I could care less whether a parent sends their child to school or stays at home with them, as long as they are doing what is best for their child in any decision that they make.
  8. Just your everyday, laidback Aussie Girl
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    #8
    we have 3 kids, 1 is at school and I stay home with the other 2. For us if I worked, it would just be to cover the child care and therefor not really any help financially for me to work. I do my sewing stuff and trying to find something to do as a WAHM. I do go crazy sometimes and I like to do things and have sometime away from the kids, but at the moment it's just wouldn't work. When we only had 1, he did go to child care and we could afford it and still have a bit of money left over.


  9. Hooked on the sauce
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    #9
    I never was gungho about daycares. I had my mom and dad working opposite shifts, DH had his mom as a stay at home. For us however, once we have the baby, he/she is going to have to go into daycare at around 8 weeks old. Hubby is getting deployed and I have to work and pay our bills. I'm not thrilled about it, but in our family, this is what we have to do to make things work. I'm going to spend a long time trying to find a place that I think suits the baby and myself.

    In regards to the Wife Swap episode, it sounds like the lady just had her kids in daycare just for the sake of having them in there. That, in my opinion, isn't right. My only exception would be if she has to work and has to have them in it...
  10. Senior Member
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    #10
    I went to daycare, and my brother never did.

    While I see points from both ends, I, as a soon to be new mom, would not be able to stay home with my kid(s). I'm just not that type of person.

    DH is. So DH is staying home with lil' bebe once he gets out of the Navy.

    However, lil' bebe will be going into daycare at 6 weeks because well, we don't really have any other choice.
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