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Thread: forced gender roles s/o

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    #1

    forced gender roles s/o

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    Can kids, young kids, under 6 for instance know they are in the wrong body? Meaning can there be a gender discrepancy in young kids? What age do you think it starts?
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    #2
    Nope.... I think that that in depth of a thought process wouldnt come up till late elem/middle school.
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    i believe that kids as young as 4 or 5 can know that something isn't right. as a matter of fact it's called Gender Identity Disorder and the onset is around 5 or 6. These are kids who feel fundamentally that they are in the wrong body or wrong gender.

    eta: it's not a matter of them knowing that all the other boys are playing with trucks or all the other girls are playing house. it's them knowing that they feel wrong in a dress and feel totally attracted to boy activities and get upset, sometimes violently, if forced to fit into the typical gender roles
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    I think they can know as a very small child. They may not be able to specify exactly what they are feeling, but at least have a feeling that they may be different.

    If my child expresses feelings like that, I would work through it with them, and NEVER make them feel ashamed or try to change them.
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    I think they know as soon as gender is apparent to them, which, in our society is when they're introduced to a multitude of children (school, playgroups) and are marketed to by clothes and toy companies. I believe that this can take place as young as probably 4 years old.
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    #6
    Can they know there's something "off"? Probably.
    Are they aware of what, and what that means? No.
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by harrisonsdream View Post
    i believe that kids as young as 4 or 5 can know that something isn't right. as a matter of fact it's called Gender Identity Disorder and the onset is around 5 or 6. These are kids who feel fundamentally that they are in the wrong body or wrong gender.

    eta: it's not a matter of them knowing that all the other boys are playing with trucks or all the other girls are playing house. it's them knowing that they feel wrong in a dress and feel totally attracted to boy activities and get upset, sometimes violently, if forced to fit into the typical gender roles
    I agree with you, and I also believe that as adults, these are the kids who will tell you they've "always known."

    A few years back I met a man in his mid-60s who said he "knew" he was gay when he was nine years old. That would have put him right around the early 1940s. I can't imagine how difficult life was for him, how troubled he must have been.
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by flowerchild View Post
    I think they know as soon as gender is apparent to them, which, in our society is when they're introduced to a multitude of children (school, playgroups) and are marketed to by clothes and toy companies. I believe that this can take place as young as probably 4 years old.
    That's what I was going to say. When they're able to define the difference between boys and girls.
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by harrisonsdream View Post
    Can kids, young kids, under 6 for instance know they are in the wrong body? Meaning can there be a gender discrepancy in young kids? What age do you think it starts?
    No, I don't believe so.
    If kids are so and easy going as was mentioned in the other thread about accepting differences and people then why wouldn't they be so and easygoing about their own bodies and selves?

    But I've never had to deal with issues like that with my kids - I'm sure someone else who's gone through it more personally has a different opinion. I've heard a lot of "there were signs that he was gay when we were little but we didnt' think about it much..." so who knows.

    I'm not even an expert on my own kids But we have so many other things to deal with - gender-issues have never been in my mind and hashed out with our therapists.
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by harrisonsdream View Post
    i believe that kids as young as 4 or 5 can know that something isn't right. as a matter of fact it's called Gender Identity Disorder and the onset is around 5 or 6. These are kids who feel fundamentally that they are in the wrong body or wrong gender.

    eta: it's not a matter of them knowing that all the other boys are playing with trucks or all the other girls are playing house. it's them knowing that they feel wrong in a dress and feel totally attracted to boy activities and get upset, sometimes violently, if forced to fit into the typical gender roles
    See and I think that there is a problem with that line of thinking. Not every child fits a norm. what I just bolded, that was Savannah to a T when she was little. Does that mean she felt she should be in a boys body instead? No, that is just the stuff that caught her attention. I think that sometimes, we as adults read WAY too much into things. And that goes the other way when boys want to wear dresses. It doesnt mean anything other than he wants to wear a dress. It doesnt mean that he feels he is in the wrong body or that he will be gay.

    I will give kids credit for understanding a lot of things. But I just cant do it when it comes to gender issues at that young of an age. JMO
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