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Thread: Marriage after death

  1. Veteran's Wife <---- this makes me sound so old! :(
    LaDonna's Avatar
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    #1

    Confused Marriage after death

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    What is your ruling on how long you should mourn your significant other after they pass away?

    Recently I have had two friends that met, dated, and married another within a year of their other spouse dying.... to me this is way too soon!!!! I think you not only owe it to the once "love of your life" but also to yourself to mourn!

    What are your thoughts?

    Also... do you really think you can be "in love" with more than one person in a lifetime? ETA I know you can love more than one person but is it a different love the second time around or is it the same do you think?

    Another edit

    Both couples have kids.... does this change things for you?
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    #2
    I think a period of mourning is a personal thing. But I also think that too many people jump on a new relationship way too soon just cause they dont want to be alone or they think they need someone.
  3. Of all the things I am, 'sweet' is not one of them
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    Of all the things I am, 'sweet' is not one of them
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    #3
    I would never feel comfortable deciding for someone else how long they need to mourn. Thats far too personal.
    ing My Family With All That I Am
  4. it's cliche but live, laugh, love.
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    it's cliche but live, laugh, love.
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    #4
    I think it's also a personal thing(mourning) but I believe that it is possible to find someone after the death of your spouse to share your life with.
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by LaDonna View Post
    ETA I know you can love more than one person but is it a different love the second time around or is it the same do you think?
    I don't know how to answer this, but I can say it bugs me to hear my dad call his new wife his "soul mate" my parents were married for 20+ years when my mom died and I just. It just bugs me He can love his new wife, but he shouldn't call her his soul mate.

    NOTE: I haven't told him any of this, would never, as I don't want to hurt him and I think it might. I did tell him I don't want her called Nana though.

    Miranda, mama to Ricky (12), Simon (5), Charlie (2), & Kevin (9)

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    #6
    to me yes you can really be in love more than once in your lifetime.

    and the other part. i think that every person mourns differently and moves on at a different amount of time.

    you are not in their shoes and what is right for you may not be right for them. no one really wants someone to spend the rest of their life mourning over them after they have passed, or at least i would not want it. i can see you wanting it done out of respect but the person that passed may not want that.

    to me it is silly to set a standard for everyone to follow in respects to marrying after the death of a spouse, you should do what you feel most comfortable with and they should do what they feel more comfortable with.
    I feel the need to be petted too!
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    #7
    It's different for everyone.
  8. Darkly Dreaming Dexter
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Meghan View Post
    I would never feel comfortable deciding for someone else how long they need to mourn. Thats far too personal.
    Exactly!
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    #9
    I think it's a personal thing of how long a person mourns for. Personally I'm not sure how long I would wait to remarry or even date, but that's just me. Everyone is different and have different ways of coping with loss.
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    #10
    There is no set standard for grief. And it's crazy to even to try and say that everyone has to follow a set timetable for it.

    As for the love thing. Yea, I think it's possible. But I think that maybe its different. I know right now, that I will never love another man the same as I do DH. That doesnt mean though that if God forbid something were to happen to him that I wouldnt fall in love again later in life. But I dont think that love would be exactly the same as I have for DH.
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