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View Poll Results: Can you be too patient to have a child?

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  • No - what a dipsh*t.

    28 73.68%
  • No, but I see his point.

    5 13.16%
  • I don't know.

    1 2.63%
  • Yes, you can be too patient

    4 10.53%
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Thread: Can you be TOO patient to have a child?

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    kiwijus's Avatar
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    #1

    Can you be TOO patient to have a child?

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    I had someone tell me tonight that my marriage is not ready to have kids, because DH is TOO PATIENT Because he's never seen my DH irritated or upset.


    Can you be Too Patient to have a child?
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    #2
    really, I do not know...I might know if I had children.

    but I do know that DF has been described as "too patient" he hardly ever
    gets upset about things. Or lets anyone see he is upset.
    Mom to Rebekah
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    #3
    Last I heard... patience is a virtue... and children NEED patience...

    I can't imagine a scenario where one could be 'too patient.'
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    #4
    I don't think you can be too patient. But I wonder if that was that person's way of saying they think your DH is too laid back and patient to the point that your children will get away with a lot and not be corrected because it doesn't bother your DH. Or they think your DH won't think anything your child does is a big deal and that whatever doesn't need correcting.

    Like I have a friend who is waaaay more laid back than me. Ok, she is laid back and I'm really uptight. lol Anyway, there are certain things I don't think it's ok for DD to be doing because it's rude, even if she is a child (say standing up in her chair at a restaurant and bothering the people at the table next to us). But my friend is so laid back that it doesn't bother her when her kids do that and she just lets them do it without correcting them. She's laid back and figures the kids are just being kids.

    I wonder if your friend was referring to things like this.
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by kiwijus View Post
    I had someone tell me tonight that my marriage is not ready to have kids, because DH is TOO PATIENT Because he's never seen my DH irritated or upset.


    Can you be Too Patient to have a child?

    Yeah - she's the one who knows all about your hubby's nature and personality. MMMHMMM
    'Cause we all know REAL good parents loose their temper and get highly irritated in front of other people all the time! That is a true sign of parenting-abilities! How you (mis)behave in front of others.

    Honestly - I think it's the opposite - I have a VERY hard time with my kids BECAUSE I'm impatient.
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    #6
    No, patience is somethig that many people have to work years to atain, especially when talking or dealign with chidlren.

    Patience means he can stay up rocking the baby not getting fustrated at the crying just waiting out the fussing till baby is calm, it means picking up cereal for the umpteenth time that was throw down and still geivign out more, reading bedtime stories over and over, staying out for weeks learning to ride a bike, workign on homework for however long it takes, waiting after school events till all are ready, etc... You get the point.
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    #7
    For the question yes.
    For your situation I dunno I don't know your dh. If you trust that he will make a good father then that guy is a dipshit.

    IMO you need to be patient but you can't just be so patient and ignore everything in lu of disipline. I've seen parents SO patient that they just are not aware their kids are little shits.
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    #8
    Patience is greatly needed when it comes to children. In droves in fact. I know that is why I don't want to have a child, DH has the no patience whatsoever. You have to have patience, to be able to stand a child splashing in bath water, to get pee'd on spit up on, thrown up on, etc.

    People think I'm far too patient when it comes to most things. However when it comes to children, I like keeping them on a short leash (not literally that is disturbing). I remember a few years ago, I had a friend who was shocked that I'd yelled at my nephew because she'd never heard me say anything loudly. However I thought it was funny because I had to call to me nephew. He happened to be about 3 years old and I'd taken him to the mall, and he decided to walk away from me.

    So all in all there is no such thing as too much patience as long as it's not a disciplining problem. To me these are two different unrelated things.
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    #9
    I do think there's such a thing as being "too patient" - giving someone too many chances (like a friend or an ex) when they've hurt you too many times, I'd call that being too patient.

    I'm not sure how you can be too patient to have a kid though! And even if they WERE, I don't think that should matter. Is anyone every truly 100% ready for their first child? Like from day 1 they're the perfect parent? I doubt it. We all have things to learn, mistakes to make. It's a growing process when you have a child.
  10. and still I think of you
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    #10
    No, I do not think a parent can be too patient. Patients is one of the best qualities in a parent, imo.

    patients and discipline are two completely different things.
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