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Thread: marriage/divorce/counseling..How come...?

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    Guynavywife's Avatar
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    #1

    marriage/divorce/counseling..How come...?

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    First, when I say "we" I mean a large general population of those who respond, not everyone, and not every individual...Now...

    How come when someone comes on the board (or IRL) and says they want to end their marriage, "we" suggest counceling, Dr. Phil, Books, retreats, etc, and just about anything but "if you feel you're ready for that, go for it."
    But...
    When someone comes on and says "My SO just proposed, we're getting married" "we" don't recommend counseling, retreats, dr. phil, etc, especially when the couple have only known each other for a short period of time?
    If you want my opinion on your relationship or life issues, just ask Villanelle!
    Quote Originally Posted by LittleMsSunshine View Post
    I think it's really funny when people come on here, and automatically assume that everyone here is a gung-ho, hoo-rah, i-bleed-red-white-and-blue, kiss-my-military-ass, people-in-uniform-can-do-no-wrong, and i'm-entitled-to-everything bitch.
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  2. I suck at grammar!
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    #2
    well cause we never want the bad stuff to happen soo we want everybody to get married and live happily ever after
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    #3
    Good question.
    If a couple decided to marry in a church most make the
    couple do some form of pre-marriage classes or what not before
    hand. I know DF and I have to
    Mom to Rebekah
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by guynavywife View Post
    First, when I say "we" I mean a large general population of those who respond, not everyone, and not every individual...Now...

    How come when someone comes on the board (or IRL) and says they want to end their marriage, "we" suggest counceling, Dr. Phil, Books, retreats, etc, and just about anything but "if you feel you're ready for that, go for it."
    But...
    When someone comes on and says "My SO just proposed, we're getting married" "we" don't recommend counseling, retreats, dr. phil, etc, especially when the couple have only known each other for a short period of time?

    Maybe because being engaged is the "trial" period where the two people have time to ask questions and work out any conflicts before marriage.

    When married, the couple should continue to try to work out the problems rather than just walk away. Supposedly they loved each other enough to get married so no one wants to see the two just walk away without giving it the "ole college try"?
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    #5
    On the forums I don't feel its my place.

    My friends in real life that engaged, I do suggest it.
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    #6
    Maybe because getting married is a positive, so no one wants to mess with it, while ending one is considered almost universally negative, which means to be avoided .
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    #7
    Honestly I recommend counseling because some problems that come across as insurmountable at the time are truly not. The couple fell in love for a reason, sometimes those reasons fade through time and if they are able to bring those reasons back to light and rekindle their relationship and continue on even stronger then that is wonderful... also I would hate to see someone wonder for the rest of their life "what if?"

    For pre-marital, while it is a wonderful thing it is not always effective for the simple fact that couples are in a honeymoon phase at that time, thinking that they are not going to have problems with XYZ later on down the road and that they are perfect for each other. In refusing to acknowledge that there are going to be struggles and hard times, by burring their head in the sand, I feel that until they are faced with struggles and controversy in their relationship they are not going to be open to learning how to address those struggles.

    Does what I said make sense? I know I rambled sorry
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    #8
    I dont know. I think that counciling should be mandatory before marriage though.
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by GeronimoPrincess View Post
    I dont know. I think that counciling should be mandatory before marriage though.
    I just made a S/O debate about that
    Mom to Rebekah
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    I love you when you bow in your mosque, kneel in your temple, pray in your church.
    For you and I are sons of one religion, and it is the spirit.
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by steelrfn View Post
    Maybe because getting married is a positive, so no one wants to mess with it, while ending one is considered almost universally negative, which means to be avoided .
    Except getting married is easy. Since most states have laws which require a period of seperation, up to a year before a divorce becomes final, wouldn't it make sense to have a waiting period for marriage? For example, register the engagement with the state, and the marriage can't happen until 1 year is up?
    If you want my opinion on your relationship or life issues, just ask Villanelle!
    Quote Originally Posted by LittleMsSunshine View Post
    I think it's really funny when people come on here, and automatically assume that everyone here is a gung-ho, hoo-rah, i-bleed-red-white-and-blue, kiss-my-military-ass, people-in-uniform-can-do-no-wrong, and i'm-entitled-to-everything bitch.
    "RIP Blackie, and Whitey, New Whitey. Goodbye Poopers and Momma Beige and Lady Grey. New Blackie and the Whitey Sisters rule the roost now!"
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