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Thread: Is it selfish?

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    #1

    Question Is it selfish?

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    I was chatting with someone today about how I would like to have a baby sometime when my health is better and I could have one. Well she knows I have Crohns disease and that it is genetic, and she said that I was selfish be bring a child into the world knowing that she/he could have this disease

    I have never thought about it like that before. So do YOU think that it would be selfish for someone with a genetic disease to have a baby knowing that their condition could be passed on?

    For those who do not know what Crohns is here is a webmd link
    http://www.webmd.com/ibd-crohns-dise...crohns-disease
    Mom to Rebekah
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    #2
    If I were truly worried about bringing a child into the world that would likely suffer through something debilitating, I would adopt. If I were worried they would have my horrible acne or something, I would have kids. I wouldn't want to bring a life into this world with a strong chance of a very difficult life ahead of them. I'd rather adopt than make someone else suffer through that. But, if I have a good life, I'm not just surviving each day and really enjoy what I do, then there's no reason why your child can't have the same things.
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Hatetank View Post
    If I were truly worried about bringing a child into the world that would likely suffer through something debilitating, I would adopt. If I were worried they would have my horrible acne or something, I would have kids. I wouldn't want to bring a life into this world with a strong chance of a very difficult life ahead of them. I'd rather adopt than make someone else suffer through that. But, if I have a good life, I'm not just surviving each day and really enjoy what I do, then there's no reason why your child can't have the same things.
    I agree, especially with the bolded.

    I don't think you are selfish at all for wanting a child... and I wouldn't think you are selfish for TRYING for a child. Only you know exactly what would be best for your family.
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    #4
    Here's the thing. You can ALWAYS find something selfish about having babies. Always. If you want to have children, and it would make you happy, then have children, and don't worry about people saying things like that to you (which I personally feel is in extremely poor taste to say to someone contemplating TTC.)

    You have Crohn's. Are you happy? Is your life, in general, good? If so, then you will be able to help your child find that balance as well. Best of luck and peace to you in your decision.
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    #5
    I agree with the ladies above me.
    I do question bring a severely mentally handicapped child into the world who would never be able to live alone- just because IMO that's no way to live.
    I'm not going to say anyone is wrong for saying otherwise, but like TheBryTree said, only you know what is best for your family.
    For something like Chrons disease I'd say it's not even remotely selfish. I work with someone who is it and I understand it's a bit crippling, but you still have a life to live...

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    #6
    Either way that's a frigging HORRIBLE thing for someone to tell you!

    By the way, Dave Garrard of the Jax Jaguars also has Crohns, and manages to play pro football, so I don't think the disease is a reason to not have children.
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by HollyJay View Post
    Here's the thing. You can ALWAYS find something selfish about having babies. Always. If you want to have children, and it would make you happy, then have children, and don't worry about people saying things like that to you (which I personally feel is in extremely poor taste to say to someone contemplating TTC.)

    You have Crohn's. Are you happy? Is your life, in general, good? If so, then you will be able to help your child find that balance as well. Best of luck and peace to you in your decision.
    I am very happy. Does it suck sometimes YES, but in general I lead a semi normal life, sure I cannot eat some things, and yes I am sick more than most but I cope.
    Thank you Holly for the support
    Mom to Rebekah
    Tree hugging, peace loving, hippie.
    I love you when you bow in your mosque, kneel in your temple, pray in your church.
    For you and I are sons of one religion, and it is the spirit.
    Khalil Gibran
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    #8
    Had I understood about bipolar and genetics I would not of had my second child (I was diagnosed after my first) I would not of wanted to risk passing it on. Its a very personal choice and yes I feel I was selfish to not have researched the odds better. As for you or anyone else that is something you would have to decide.
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by steelrfn View Post
    Either way that's a frigging HORRIBLE thing for someone to tell you!

    By the way, Dave Garrard of the Jax Jaguars also has Crohns, and manages to play pro football, so I don't think the disease is a reason to not have children.
    WOW did not know that, thanks!
    Mom to Rebekah
    Tree hugging, peace loving, hippie.
    I love you when you bow in your mosque, kneel in your temple, pray in your church.
    For you and I are sons of one religion, and it is the spirit.
    Khalil Gibran
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by steelrfn View Post
    Either way that's a frigging HORRIBLE thing for someone to tell you!

    By the way, Dave Garrard of the Jax Jaguars also has Crohns, and manages to play pro football, so I don't think the disease is a reason to not have children.
    Darn you and your veritable epitome of random NFL facts... I was going to post that and couldn't remember the guys name. Was just looking that up. It's got electrolytes....
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