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Thread: At least they aren't...

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    #1

    At least they aren't...

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    So, okay, here is a debate, and I'm not sure how to word it exactly, but maybe you will catch my meaning...I hear a lot of parents say things like, well, I don't like that behavior that my child is exhibiting, but at least it isn't this behavior...So, my question is, why are we comparing two negative things? I hear this a lot, and I just now am starting to question it. An example might be, well, yes, I let my daughter wear pants 4 sizes too small, but at least she isn't having sex, or yeah, I know my son is drinking, but I figure at least it isn't drugs. Why do we(as a society) make statements like this? Don't we know we are just comparing two behaviors we don't want from our children. Just a thought I've been having lately. What do you think?


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    #2
    "things could always be worse" is basically the issue of the day.
    We also don't like admitting our shortcomings or our helplessness or our "failures"
    Its a way of making ourselves feel better about a non-ideal situation.
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    I agree!!! Things are gradually declining and rather than making ourselves feel guilty for allowing to happen we just make ourselves feel better by downplaying the situation so that it seems much more appealing, therefore we pat ourselves on the back instead and our society is continuing it's gradual decline to crap!




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    #4
    Its about picking your battles really. In high school, I liked to dress like a little emo kid with too much eyeliner. At least I was wearing clothes. Which one would you rather have?
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer Lynn View Post
    Its about picking your battles really. In high school, I liked to dress like a little emo kid with too much eyeliner. At least I was wearing clothes. Which one would you rather have?

    That's not as serious as the issues that are really plaguing kids these days though. Clothing is something that has a very BROAD acceptance. You can dress in all black and wear lots of eyeliner and still be a very intelligent and upstanding person, but drinking, having sex behind your parents back (without being responsible), doing drugs, blatantly disrespecting people.. those are the things I think are being addressed in this situation...

    now if your parents really did not like the way you dressed and presented yourself then that could be something to discuss, especially if there was an extreme amount of disrespect that was shown.




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    #6
    It's all relative. To some parents, it's "well, little Sarah said a swear word today, but at least she's not reading those evil Harry Potter books!"

    In any case, it is a silly way to justify the behavior...
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer Lynn View Post
    Its about picking your battles really. In high school, I liked to dress like a little emo kid with too much eyeliner. At least I was wearing clothes. Which one would you rather have?
    See, that is sort of what I'm talking about. However, it is only that way if you see looking like an EMO kid as negative. If a parent does, and they do not want their child to dress like that though, why do they then justify it by saying, well, at least they are wearing clothes. That is two negative things in their view (EMO or Nekkid). I don't see why one is desirable by default.


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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Loretta View Post
    It's all relative. To some parents, it's "well, little Sarah said a swear word today, but at least she's not reading those evil Harry Potter books!"

    In any case, it is a silly way to justify the behavior...
    I heard a woman say something like this in a store one day

    Something along the lines of
    "My daughter wants to read "x" book (dont remember the name) but at least it is not as bad as the "devil Harry Potter" books" I almost laughed out loud.

    But I do agree with the rest of Loretta's post on this one
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by VinnysGirl View Post
    That's not as serious as the issues that are really plaguing kids these days though. Clothing is something that has a very BROAD acceptance. You can dress in all black and wear lots of eyeliner and still be a very intelligent and upstanding person, but drinking, having sex behind your parents back (without being responsible), doing drugs, blatantly disrespecting people.. those are the things I think are being addressed in this situation...

    now if your parents really did not like the way you dressed and presented yourself then that could be something to discuss, especially if there was an extreme amount of disrespect that was shown.
    Well, yeah. I was just saying that my parents picked their battles. They didn't dwell on the insignificant. Obviously things like being irresponsible in terms of sex and alcohol, or doing drugs, is totally different. I don't think it should be used to justify either.

    Quote Originally Posted by LaneyBug View Post
    See, that is sort of what I'm talking about. However, it is only that way if you see looking like an EMO kid as negative. If a parent does, and they do not want their child to dress like that though, why do they then justify it by saying, well, at least they are wearing clothes. That is two negative things in their view (EMO or Nekkid). I don't see why one is desirable by default.
    Because honestly, kids are going to find a way to do it. I used to hide clothes in my backpack and change when I got to school. Letting your child dye their hair pink (sorry loretta, only an example ) when they turn 18 isn't going to hurt anyone. Especially if the alternative is to go and get a really nasty ugly tattoo of some sort.
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    #10
    Yeah - it's the self-comfort and accepting that things could always be worse!

    I say things like that all the time when I truely am feeling that ___ behavior is just THE WORST -- yet I know it's not!
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