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Thread: Please explain

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    #1

    Please explain

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    I constantly hear and see people, most especially females, make this statement, " I trust him/her but....."
    I only see two possible ways to interpret this
    A) You don't really trust the person, but are aware you should trust the person so you make sure to mention that you do trust the person and then clearly illustrate that you don't.

    Or

    B) You believe your SO is stupid, and therefore will be seduced by someone of the opposite, (or same, I guess), gender because they cannot possibly understand they are being manipulated into doing something they shouldn't.

    Right? Wrong?

    Thoughts on the subject?
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    #2
    I dont say that too often. but every realationship is based on trust if you dont have that you dont have anything.
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    #3
    My thoughts are that you take people too literaly, and based on previous posts, you see everything as either black or white with no room for interpretation.

    I can easily say "i trust my wife...but...i do not trust the freinds she hangs out with" or I trust my wife, but i am aware she is human and therefore imperfect, and like us all able to make mistakes or mis-judgements"
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    #4
    I've often thought this myself.

    I generally take it that they DO trust their SO to the best of their ability but that their own insecurities (within themselves or the relationship) won't allow them to fully let go of control.
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by guynavywife View Post
    My thoughts are that you take people too literaly, and based on previous posts, you see everything as either black or white with no room for interpretation.

    I can easily say "i trust my wife...but...i do not trust the freinds she hangs out with" or I trust my wife, but i am aware she is human and therefore imperfect, and like us all able to make mistakes or mis-judgements"


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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by guynavywife View Post
    My thoughts are that you take people too literaly, and based on previous posts, you see everything as either black or white with no room for interpretation.

    I can easily say "i trust my wife...but...i do not trust the freinds she hangs out with" or I trust my wife, but i am aware she is human and therefore imperfect, and like us all able to make mistakes or mis-judgements"
    I'm going to agree with that. Pretty smart.


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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by guynavywife View Post
    My thoughts are that you take people too literaly, and based on previous posts, you see everything as either black or white with no room for interpretation.

    I can easily say "i trust my wife...but...i do not trust the freinds she hangs out with" or I trust my wife, but i am aware she is human and therefore imperfect, and like us all able to make mistakes or mis-judgements"
    That's how I see it. At least for me. I trust them within the limits of human perfection, which is imperfection.

    Though, some people's use of the "I trust him or her but..." statement does throw me for a loop.

    And I also agree that you, OP, see things VERY black and white sometimes (not saying that is always a bad thing, but maybe you should try to look more towards the gray sometimes. )
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by guynavywife View Post
    My thoughts are that you take people too literaly, and based on previous posts, you see everything as either black or white with no room for interpretation.

    I can easily say "i trust my wife...but...i do not trust the freinds she hangs out with" or I trust my wife, but i am aware she is human and therefore imperfect, and like us all able to make mistakes or mis-judgements"
    You can SAY it, but is it really how you feel if/when you say it?
    I ask because of a couple of different cases where this phrase was used and then immediately followed by evidence to the contrary, ie, " I really trust my fiance' but if he's going to have a bachelor party I insist that my brother be there so he can report back to me exactly what happens."

    This is a perfect example, and kind of scary, really. If you trust your SO you don't need a spy.
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by CarolinaHokie View Post
    I've often thought this myself.

    I generally take it that they DO trust their SO to the best of their ability but that their own insecurities (within themselves or the relationship) won't allow them to fully let go of control.
    I agree with you here. My ex really screwed my trust, big time. And as much as I try not to carry things over from that relationship to this one, it's hard to get really hurt by someone misusing your trust then turn around and not have your guard up a little more the next time.
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by guynavywife View Post
    My thoughts are that you take people too literaly, and based on previous posts, you see everything as either black or white with no room for interpretation.
    Quote Originally Posted by helloimkaley View Post
    And I also agree that you, OP, see things VERY black and white sometimes (not saying that is always a bad thing, but maybe you should try to look more towards the gray sometimes. )
    Some things, infidelity and honesty in a relationship for example, are black and white issues.
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