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Thread: Contacting exes from previous relationships

  1. Darkly Dreaming Dexter
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    #1

    Contacting exes from previous relationships

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    What are your feelings on someone contacting their SO's ex - or contacting their own ex - for various reasons.

    I'll try to make these examples as diverse as possible to get a wide variety of views.

    (Example 1 - a current boyfriend is wanting to be more serious with his girlfriend but his lack of knowing anyone in her family/her friends leaves him feeling like he doesn't know her very well, still - so to 'get to know her' he gets ahold of his girlfriend's ex to 'hang out' and get a sense of what type of person she really is and what type of things she's done in her life.)

    (Example 2 - a wife is having a hard time in her marriage, they've had a lot of problems and she's struggling to understand her husband's actions. So she decides to contact her husband's ex girlfriend OR ex wife to figure out what's going on with him and maybe get some answers for their problems or some insight on their issues from someone who might hae been in the same problem.)

    (Example 3 - a husband/wife married, had children, divorced. The (ex)wife has sole custody of the kids. The (ex)husband has been out of hte picture for countless years. One day the ex husband has his current wife contact his ex wife to discuss visitation and child support issues, etc)

    (Example 4 - a couple that use to date and was never very serious eventually goes their seperate ways. Later on the ex girlfriend, now in a serious relationship, decides to contact her ex boyfriend to see how his life has changed and so on.)
  2. I love all my wifeys!! They rock my socks!!
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    #2
    I think it is wrong in every situation. I would never contact his exes for any reason. DB has a son and I wouldnt contact his ex even if something needed to be said. That is between them.



    YES I AM ADDICTED!!!!
  3. 1/2 hippie, 1/2 diva... all Jersey
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Aunt Sponge View Post
    What are your feelings on someone contacting their SO's ex - or contacting their own ex - for various reasons.
    (Example 1 - a current boyfriend is wanting to be more serious with his girlfriend but his lack of knowing anyone in her family/her friends leaves him feeling like he doesn't know her very well, still - so to 'get to know her' he gets ahold of his girlfriend's ex to 'hang out' and get a sense of what type of person she really is and what type of things she's done in her life.)
    this made me think:

    (Example 2 - a wife is having a hard time in her marriage, they've had a lot of problems and she's struggling to understand her husband's actions. So she decides to contact her husband's ex girlfriend OR ex wife to figure out what's going on with him and maybe get some answers for their problems or some insight on their issues from someone who might hae been in the same problem.)
    --ehh... i've been the exgf who got contacted by the current gf. actually, all three of us were living together (with 5 other people) in college during senior year. personally i didn't mind it. i was friends with everyone except my ex in the house, and even he and i got along in a friendly-ish way. and actually, the new gf and i became better friends because of that common tie. i wouldn't do that with any of DF's exes tho.

    (Example 3 - a husband/wife married, had children, divorced. The (ex)wife has sole custody of the kids. The (ex)husband has been out of hte picture for countless years. One day the ex husband has his current wife contact his ex wife to discuss visitation and child support issues, etc)
    --um... why cant hubby do it?

    (Example 4 - a couple that use to date and was never very serious eventually goes their seperate ways. Later on the ex girlfriend, now in a serious relationship, decides to contact her ex boyfriend to see how his life has changed and so on.)[/QUOTE]
    why bother?

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  4. Am
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    #4
    I'm still friends with an ex.

    I don't see a problem with it as long as boundaries aren't crossed.
  5. Im crazy, the good kind
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    #5
    Im friends with all but one of my ex's

    I don't think there is anything wrong with it...agree with you Amber
  6. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #6
    As far as someone contacting their spouse's SO... ummm NO. There are very very few reasons I can think of that my SO would need to contact my ex's for any reason...

    However, I am not against someone contacting their own ex for a few different reasons...



    As far as the examples go.... No, No, No, Dont see a problem with the last example
  7. Senior Member
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    #7
    I have never done it, and I would never do it. The only time I have ever talked to one of DH's ex's is because the stupid twat called him, and I answered the phone. Im majority of those instances I think the man needs to stand up and take care of his own business. And the rest just seem to sneaky.
  8. Senior Member
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    #8
    I don't think there is any problem with it, but it depends on what kind of relationship they had, how they broke it off, and so on. I know there is one of DF's exs that I wouldn't want him contacting because of how they ended their relationship


    **NO MORE TICKER....HE'S HOME **
  9. Navy Wife
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    #9
    I talk to my Ex a lot. He is one of my best friends.

    He is great to have around when I need advice or just someone to vent to. He has help me a lot in my marriage by giving me other views on situations.
    Do not take life too seriously, you will never get out of it alive
  10. I love all my wifeys!! They rock my socks!!
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    #10
    i agree with YOU keeping contact with YOUR exes but do you keep contact with your SO's exes? that is what I wouldnt do



    YES I AM ADDICTED!!!!
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