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Thread: Twist on Domestic Violence

  1. La Xicana
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    #1

    Twist on Domestic Violence

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    So I was having this debate with someone, I'm curious what your thoughts are.


    1) If a man and a woman are fighting, and a man hits the woman, do you think she has the right to hit him back? Should she try to fight back or just try to get away?


    2) If a man and a woman are having a heated fight, and the woman starts hitting the man, would you consider that domestic violence and physical abuse on the part of the woman?

    3) AND finally, if a woman is hitting the man, do you think he has the right to hit her back in defense? Should he try to fight back or just to try to get away?




    If you answered yes to #1, but no to #2 why?
  2. Formerly hishoneybee
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    #2
    1. she should just walk away, if she hits back, he'll hit her again...logic....
    2. yes, if the woman is the main combatant, she will be charged with domestic violence. if you hit the other person, it's domestic violence no matter what gender you are!!!
    3. he should just walk away, you don't have the right to hit someone back because they hit you first, defend yourself enough to get away.

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  3. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #3
    1) If a man and a woman are fighting, and a man hits the woman, do you think she has the right to hit him back? Should she try to fight back or just try to get away? Has the right to... no, would i be surprised if she did, not in the least... does it make it right, nope


    2) If a man and a woman are having a heated fight, and the woman starts hitting the man, would you consider that domestic violence and physical abuse on the part of the woman? Yes, she is hitting him, by definition its physical abuse...


    3) AND finally, if a woman is hitting the man, do you think he has the right to hit her back in defense? Should he try to fight back or just to try to get away? No he shouldn't hit her back, he should walk away, and if that's not a possibility, he should restrain her from hitting him until either she calms down or someone else comes into the picture and handles it (cops, friends, whatever)
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    #4
    Okay, I'm going to answer this...not sure if I'll return to this threat, it's very sensitive to me (after having a 12-year abusive relationship/marriage).

    [QUOTE=sdshorty;4367230]So I was having this debate with someone, I'm curious what your thoughts are.


    1) If a man and a woman are fighting, and a man hits the woman, do you think she has the right to hit him back? Should she try to fight back or just try to get away?

    She should first try to get away-if violence is needed to accomplish that goal, go for it. She should do everything she can to get away from the situation.


    2) If a man and a woman are having a heated fight, and the woman starts hitting the man, would you consider that domestic violence and physical abuse on the part of the woman?

    Honestly, it depends. If the woman is half the guy's size and her "physical abuse" consists of slapping him once when he called her a piece of shit whore, then no, I wouldn't call that physical ABUSE. To me the term "abuse" implies the infliction of one person's PROWESS over another. The truth is, it's often that the woman has no power over the man, so any attempt at physically harming him his laughable. HOWEVER, there are instances where the woman is clearly dominant and DOES have that prowess (whether physical or emotional) and then it IS indeed physical abuse.

    3) AND finally, if a woman is hitting the man, do you think he has the right to hit her back in defense? Should he try to fight back or just to try to get away?
    I think in most situations, the type of "abuse" a woman might do to a man entails a single slap or shove, seldom does it reach the point of "Beating" on a man. Therefore, I tend to think a man should do exactly as I said a woman should-try to get away and leave the situation. In most cases, this will be easier for a man to get away from a violent woman than vice versa. Also, men usually are stronger and bigger (it's just a general rule) and can even physically restrain a woman without "fighting back." That said, if the man truly cannot get away and is not bigger/stronger than the woman, he should do whatever he needs to do to get away-just as a woman should.

    All that said, the bottom line is this, IMO....there would have to be some pretty extenuating circumstances to me to believe a 6'2" 220-pound man cannot get away from a 5'2" 115-pound woman (as my XH tried to claim when the police were called when he broke my shoulder blade).
  5. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #5
    Yes, yes, and yes.

    Depending on the situation, of course. If someone strikes another person, that is assault no matter the gender. However, if someone is beating the life out of you, regardless of gender, the person being beat by all means should be able to defend themselves. If it's a situation where you can walk away, that's best.
  6. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Loretta View Post
    Yes, yes, and yes.

    Depending on the situation, of course. If someone strikes another person, that is assault no matter the gender. However, if someone is beating the life out of you, regardless of gender, the person being beat by all means should be able to defend themselves. If it's a situation where you can walk away, that's best.


    No one EVER has a "right" to touch (hit, slap, punch, etc.) another human being. Ever. (obviously excluding any situatuins where you are being physically abused and you absolutely can't get away)
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by hishoneybee View Post
    1. she should just walk away, if she hits back, he'll hit her again...logic....
    2. yes, if the woman is the main combatant, she will be charged with domestic violence. if you hit the other person, it's domestic violence no matter what gender you are!!!
    3. he should just walk away, you don't have the right to hit someone back because they hit you first, defend yourself enough to get away.
  8. Senior Member
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    #8
    1) If a man and a woman are fighting, and a man hits the woman, do you think she has the right to hit him back? Should she try to fight back or just try to get away?

    If he throws the first punch and she wants to punch him back, then it's fair game. She has the right to hit him back, but that's just a stupid idea. Same thing goes if the roles were reversed. You don't start or end a fight with hitting someone. It's not about fighting about, it's about being the mature one and leaving the situation because that isn't the way to handle anything.


    2) If a man and a woman are having a heated fight, and the woman starts hitting the man, would you consider that domestic violence and physical abuse on the part of the woman?

    Yes. Why is it okay for a woman to do it and not a man? Females are seen as the weaker sex, but that still doesn't make it right. (I'm not saying anyone is weak, but in general that's how we are seen. Just stating facts.) Any type of abuse shouldn't be tolerated. Unless the man/woman is into the whole getting slapped thing as a fetish, but that's a completely different ballgame. And if a woman is hitting a man, then I'm sorry but it's fair game to hit her back. Not deck her in the face, but if she pushes him, don't slam her into a wall but push her back. But that just leads me to my first reply, it shouldn't be going on in the first place. And no one should be hitting/getting hit.

    3) AND finally, if a woman is hitting the man, do you think he has the right to hit her back in defense? Should he try to fight back or just to try to get away?

    Hey, if she's hitting him, and he asked her to stop and she hasn't, fair game. That doesn't mean do it. I think he should just try to get away, but if you're giving it, be prepared to take it.



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    #9
    To me, the first two are clearly identified by a few dozen laws and everyone's post: Physical assault is physical assault, regardless of which sex is throwing the blows. The last question I sum up with a pearl of wisdom from my mom:

    "If she's man enough to hit a man, she's man enough to take a hit like a man." So, by her logic, I would be entitled, blow for blow, for retaliation.

    Of course, I was taught by my father to NEVER hit a woman, under any circumstance. So, by his logic, I'd walk away.

    And my grandmother taught me the BEST rule of all: "A LADY doesn't hit anybody. The moment she does, she loses her title of LADY and becomes a bitch." (She means bitch by definition of a female dog, who will bite if provoked). By her logic, a woman is considered a lady until she proves otherwise.

    Not one single male in my immediate family (well over 20 of them and not a small amount being bikers, truck drivers and jacks-of-all-trades) have never been arrested for domestic violence.

    So, from what I know in my experience, if a woman hits me, she's ready to FIGHT. If I hit her, I better be READY to fight. I know, however, that if we did get into an altercation, the judge would lean towards the fact that I should have walked away.
  10. Darkly Dreaming Dexter
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    #10
    1) If a man and a woman are fighting, and a man hits the woman, do you think she has the right to hit him back? Should she try to fight back or just try to get away?
    Absolutely - as in any fight you have the right to defend yourself against someone assaulting you.
    Of course is more LOGICAL to get away from the situation but sometimes that's just not possible.

    2) If a man and a woman are having a heated fight, and the woman starts hitting the man, would you consider that domestic violence and physical abuse on the part of the woman?
    Depends on what they're fighting over, honestly. Some situations, in my heart, a good hearty bitch slap is deserved - from BOTH sexes.
    But I've never considered ONE smack across the face to be the same as "domestic abuse" or what have you - or even a small scrapple to be domestic violence. To be "a fight" and "abuse" are two very different thinsg and completely unrelated.
    Abuse, IMHO, is ongoing and comes in many different forms. If you have one scrapple then you're just acting like dumb kids.

    Why is my opinion like this? Because I was in an extremely abusive marriage and I truely fail to see how that is remotely the same as one person getting smacked across the face in an arguement one time.

    3) AND finally, if a woman is hitting the man, do you think he has the right to hit her back in defense? Should he try to fight back or just to try to get away?
    Yep - see #1

    Notice, here, how my views don't flux when refering to man/woman. We are all humans and on the same level - no bias, here. For me there is no "you can't do that to me, I'm a woman...but I can do it to you."
    I was raised to "never hit a woman" but I think that's BS in this day and age and somewhat archaic.
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