Rewarding your children?

[Callie]

In your opinion, how should children be rewarded for good grades? Cash, favorite place to eat, new clothes or shoes, etc...
Do you think that children should be rewarded for making good grades when it is expected of them in the first place?
How do you "reward" your children? Do you think this teaches them to do better in school?

[*mcstapleton*]

I think you should reward them. Sometimes making good grades is hard. But, you shouldn't over do it. Going out to dinner or something is enough in my opinion.

[harrisonsdream]

i think it's fine if it's like congrats let's take you to dinner or get you a new pair of jeans or something. if it turns into excessive things like $100 for an A or something that's a bit much

[Berkley]

Continuation of favorite extracuricular activities

[Callie]

Originally Posted by Berkley Continuation of favorite extracuricular activities

Thats a good idea.
I was always rewarded with money by both my parents and grandmother. Nothing excessive.

[NocturneSiren]

I was not rewarded for good grades, but grounded for bad ones. It was just expected of me to apply myself. I would have been frustrated if I had to struggle though. Honestly, though, I have to wonder the psychology here. My DH wasn't pushed to apply himself, and it showed in his grades. He was more than capable of better, too.

[harrisonsdream]

Originally Posted by jenbaby I was not rewarded for good grades, but grounded for bad ones. It was just expected of me to apply myself. I would have been frustrated if I had to struggle though. Honestly, though, I have to wonder the psychology here. My DH wasn't pushed to apply himself, and it showed in his grades. He was more than capable of better, too.

[TheBryTree]

I'm not for bribery. Although I view school as a child's job, I do not believe they should be paid for it. At that point in life, they should be learning the skills needed to succeed in life... which includes doing your best just to have pride in yourself.

Doing well should be reward enough... laying the foundation for their future should be reward enough. That is their pay for the job they do in school.

If a child refuses to do well, to do their homework, to try... then finding out the real reason behind that is what parents should do... not just bribing them to do something. I feel bribery only teaches a child that they don't have to do anything unless someone gives them what they want. Children need to learn that sometimes you just need to do things because it is good for you, not because you will get money for clothes.

and honestly? if there is no reason behind failing in school beyond just being lazy, and bribery is the only thing that would work... then the child should just be left to fail. Yeah, it really sucks to watch your kid fail... but they will never learn if they don't understand the consequences of being lazy and failing. Getting held back a time or two and being teased by classmates younger than them and friends who are no longer classmates will help wake them up. They need to wake up if they will ever do anything on their own.

[Callie]

Originally Posted by jenbaby I was not rewarded for good grades, but grounded for bad ones. It was just expected of me to apply myself. I would have been frustrated if I had to struggle though. Honestly, though, I have to wonder the psychology here. My DH wasn't pushed to apply himself, and it showed in his grades. He was more than capable of better, too.

I was pushed to make "A" and grounded if I made a "C" or less. My dad was super harsh about my grades. In high school I rebelled against him and didn't apply myself at all. The thing with him though, is he would call me stupid for not making an A in Math, but he wouldn't try to help me. I think if as long as your children are doing the best that they can do, they are doing okay. Some kids just don't get certain subjects and are great at other subjects.

[Aunt Sponge]

Well - I'm proud of every A my son's get, but I'm proud of their B's and C's (they both have developmental disorders)
Children should always be rewarded for making strong efforts to do quite well.
Not necessarily the grade that they get.

If a child has issues that tends to hold them back then raising a D to a B might be a stellar celebratory success - but someone, like my sister, who was just born all-knowing and doesn't have to work for it can really have it go to their head.

but, yeah, everything in moderation.

When my hubby was deployed we ate fast food all the time 'cause I was lazy and I always told the kids it was because they did good in school then I tried to encourage good behavior by promising something "special" if they did well all week - and then I tried to go to pizza hut for something "special" but to them it was all the same and they got pissed
(That's what happens when you overdo rewards - they lose their appeal and meaning)