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Thread: Would you call it self conscious or low self esteem

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    #1

    Would you call it self conscious or low self esteem

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    If a friend or acquaintance is not overtly friendly or seems upset, do you automatically think she is mad with you about something, even if you didn't do anything wrong. If a someone you meet on the fly is not very friendly or interested with you, do you think there just must be something about you, they don't like. Now I'm not talking about thinking these thoughts 24/7,or not using other reasonings, such as maybe they just had a bad day etc.

    In general, how often(if you do) think this way?

    Would it be a trait that resembles "low self esteem", or one who is just "self conscious", and how do the two differ?
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    ALWAYS! And, honestly, if you think about it, it's sort of self-absorbed to think you affect another person that much. I always worry, but really, can't s/he just be having a bad day? Geez, I hate feeling that way
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by WGs_Grrl View Post
    ALWAYS! And, honestly, if you think about it, it's sort of self-absorbed to think you affect another person that much. I always worry, but really, can't s/he just be having a bad day? Geez, I hate feeling that way
    Good point. I hate seeing it in other women, yet I posses this at certain times too! I guess we dislike traits in others, that we too, ourselves have.
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    I only obsess like that when it is SO being grumpy. I have learned to not worry about it too much as we ahve been together for a while. He is just moody, I am still perfect!
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    #5
    I don't automatically assume friends are mad at me/I did something wrong if they aren't their usual self. Sometimes I worry if my best friend and I don't talk for a few days because she is a little sensitive and I come off the wrong way sometimes. I do get worried a LOT about DH though - I know he loves me all the way down to my imperfections, but in past relationships I've always had the other shoe drop unexpectedly, and even though I know he won't do that to me, I'm still in the phase where I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. He still feels too good to be true, and I worry that I've done something wrong a lot, even though I know I haven't.

    However, when I meet new people and they don't seem too friendly or interested, I do think it's something about me they don't like. Sometimes I'm wrong and they're just shy, but I don't expect to click with everyone.
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    #6
    I feel like that would be a low self-esteem thing rather than a self-conscious thing. I say that because the only times I have had thoughts like that have been when I was depressed already, and susceptible to having bouts of low self-esteem as well. I agree with WGs_Grrl, it is pretty self-absorbed to think we can affect another person that much after having just met him/her. Self-sconscious to me is more like over-analyzing the situation rather than assuming I did something wrong, know what I mean?
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    #7
    there is a difference between low self esteem. holding yourself at a lower standard than everyone else... and self conscious, aware of your actions words etc.

    its a bit of an anxiety thing to jump to conclusions like that, and i totally do it too. i THINK maybe it has to do with womenly hormones, because i do it alot more during PMS too... but maybe thats just me?
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    #8
    Neither.
    People won't always like you. You won't always like people. Sometimes it's personal and sometimes it's not.
    And friends don't always feel the need to click into the 'friend' thing all the time.
    I never did - and thus I no longer have friends. A lot of people feel that if you don't include them in your routine, plans, etc, frequently, then you don't like them and they can't handle that.
    I wouldn't say self absorbed or whatever - others just consider friendship on a very different level than me.

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