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Thread: Do you agree with this statement...?

  1. MilitarySOS Jewel
    ~Christina~'s Avatar
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    #1

    Do you agree with this statement...?

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    You should come first, then your SO and then your children..

    I was listening to the radio yesterday and the subject was why sex fizzles after being together for a long time....and after all the calls the woman who was hosting the show says the above statement and says that this is what she believes the order of priority should be when you have a family...

    so what do ya'll think...? agree or disagree..

    Everyday you spend worrying about tomorrow...you miss living for today...
  2. Account Closed
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    #2
    Yes I do believe in it..Think for one second...if you don't love yourself first how are you going to love someone else...If you feel good then you are going to treat people good..When you feel crap you are going to be rude or passive aggresive towards them. My sis and I were talking about this the other day, so many women after having kids stop taking care of themselves, their lives revolve around the kids and husband the whole time. Which is nothing wrong, but what happens to your identity and your self? We know you are a mother but you are also a wife and you are also 'insert name. You need your own time to spoil yourself like once a week manicure or massage, or just alone at home with no kids for one hour. KWIM. I have DS but I still take care of my appearance when I go out. Thats what makes me feel good about myself and makes me happy.

    In the beginning I always thought to put my children first and then my husband..But then I saw the Oprah show with Seal and Heidi Klum, and he actually said something that make sense...You kids will always be part of your life but they grow old and they move with new family and children, etc...Whereas your husband will always be there till end of time...And you need to think that after the kids are gone, there is only going to be 2 of you. So you should put your husband second after you.

    If this offend anyone, am sorry but its just how I view things.
  3. I'm from the south and sometimes I have a big mouth
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    #3
    my kids come first.
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    #4
    Kids, Dh, me... My kids will always come first.
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    #5
    I put Tony first. Then Bailey. Then myself. I believe that Tony and I have to have a strong,loving relationship. And that Bailey will benefit from our relationship being that way. Bailey seeing her parents happy,in love,stable, and committed will teach her about how relationships should be.

    Putting Tony first doesnt mean that either of us neglect Bailey. Just in case some people want to think that.
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    #6
    I am beginning to believe it, yes! Before I did not! I ALWAYS put the kids first! But now that they are a tad older, I know I need to put myself first above all! It took a lot for me to see that!
  7. Yup... you STILL suck!
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by sharine25 View Post
    Yes I do believe in it..Think for one second...if you don't love yourself first how are you going to love someone else...If you feel good then you are going to treat people good..When you feel crap you are going to be rude or passive aggresive towards them. My sis and I were talking about this the other day, so many women after having kids stop taking care of themselves, their lives revolve around the kids and husband the whole time. Which is nothing wrong, but what happens to your identity and your self? We know you are a mother but you are also a wife and you are also 'insert name. You need your own time to spoil yourself like once a week manicure or massage, or just alone at home with no kids for one hour. KWIM. I have DS but I still take care of my appearance when I go out. Thats what makes me feel good about myself and makes me happy.

    In the beginning I always thought to put my children first and then my husband..But then I saw the Oprah show with Seal and Heidi Klum, and he actually said something that make sense...You kids will always be part of your life but they grow old and they move with new family and children, etc...Whereas your husband will always be there till end of time...And you need to think that after the kids are gone, there is only going to be 2 of you. So you should put your husband second after you.

    If this offend anyone, am sorry but its just how I view things.

    Oh honey NO offense taken here.. It makes sense what you are saying, especially the bolded part.. I guess I never looked at things like that. I guess for me RIGHT NOW I put my kids first because that is my job as their mother..

    The true hypocrite is the one who ceases to perceive his deception, the one who lies with sincerity. ~André Gide
  8. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #8
    personally i dont feel that way but i think thats because i am one of those peopl who wants to take care of everyone and everything. dont get me wrong i think taking car of myself is important and do things just for me when i know i need a little special attention... JMO
  9. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #9
    People who put their kids first tend to be the frazzled, stressed-out, depressed people in the end.

    If you put your husband before yourself, what happens if he ever leaves you? Will you still have your identity?

    I just don't get that way of thinking.

    I sacrifice a TON for my family, but I never come last, it wouldn't be fair to them.
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by farmerchyk View Post
    Oh honey NO offense taken here.. It makes sense what you are saying, especially the bolded part.. I guess I never looked at things like that. I guess for me RIGHT NOW I put my kids first because that is my job as their mother..
    Oh you will always be a mother to them and they will always know you are their mother. That will never change. But remember whereas you are a mother to them only. You also have 2 other roles.
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