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View Poll Results: wich is the bigger commitment?

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  • marriage

    18 18.18%
  • having children

    75 75.76%
  • had to throw this "other" in here

    6 6.06%
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Thread: the bigger commitment?

  1. Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta
    jamiev's Avatar
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    #21
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    i am one in the minority who said marriage. i will try to explain:

    i think kids are a larger commitment individually, but it isn't neccessarily a commitment to your relationship. i know it's best to have the committment to the relationship for the upbringing of the child, but it's not 100% always neccessary. also, like it or not, children can be unplanned. but in my mind, marriage is a conscious decision made by both parties. marriage doesn't happen "by accident" (ok not counting drunken trips to Vegas). some people aren't going to believe in divorce. i just think having a child with someone doesn't mean you have to commit to that person. you do have to commit to the child, but not to the other parent.
    JMO
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    #22
    Kids
    They are yours for life.
  3. Account Closed
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    #23
    Quote Originally Posted by Bex View Post
    I've shot two weddings in the last two weeks of couples who have had kids before they got married. Now, each to his/her own... but in casual conversation with one of the couples, they mentioned that they had been together and had kids before marriage because "they weren't ready for that kind of commitment..." ok... well, isn't having a kid a BIGGER commitment?


    so discuss... is marriage OR kids the "bigger commitment?"

    Having kids is WAY more the bigger commitment!

    Maybe they meant it as, if their married they can't just up and leave each other if things aren't working?
  4. browneyedbeauty's Avatar
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    #24
    I chose marriage. You can have children with someone and you just have to be passing civil with them. With marriage you're promising to love that person for the rest of your lives. To love only that person and be only with that person.

    With children you're committing to take care of them but you don't have to stay with their other parent if you don't want to.

    Marriage is a bigger commitment because it's harder to make.
  5. browneyedbeauty's Avatar
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    #25
    Quote Originally Posted by jlbecker View Post
    i am one in the minority who said marriage. i will try to explain:

    i think kids are a larger commitment individually, but it isn't neccessarily a commitment to your relationship. i know it's best to have the committment to the relationship for the upbringing of the child, but it's not 100% always neccessary. also, like it or not, children can be unplanned. but in my mind, marriage is a conscious decision made by both parties. marriage doesn't happen "by accident" (ok not counting drunken trips to Vegas). some people aren't going to believe in divorce. i just think having a child with someone doesn't mean you have to commit to that person. you do have to commit to the child, but not to the other parent.
    JMO
    I should have just quoted you.
  6. Senior Member
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    #26
    Sorry, I'm not following the op instructions but I'd have to say that kids are a bigger RESPONSIBILITY, and marriage is a bigger Commitment.

    Been married 13 yrs, and we have a large brood together. *MY* life experience tells me this is correct.
    Deployments don't last forever, they just feel like it

  7. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #27
    Quote Originally Posted by BTDT View Post
    Sorry, I'm not following the op instructions but I'd have to say that kids are a bigger RESPONSIBILITY, and marriage is a bigger Commitment.

    Been married 13 yrs, and we have a large brood together. *MY* life experience tells me this is correct.
    That's exactly what I meant. I'm glad someone who has experience agrees with me. I'm not married or do I have children so my opinion is purely based on how I view the two.
  8. The Cat Whisperer
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    #28
    Kids - you can always divorce the guy if he turns out to be a douchebag.
  9. Senior Member
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    #29
    While their both big commitments. Kids is a much bigger commitment. You can't divorce your kids.
  10. Wah Its called life idiot
    Chevy_Gurl's Avatar
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    #30
    Having kids is the bigger commitment.

    You can get married, get divorced, move on if you don't like the person.

    Kids they are stuck with you till the day you die.



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