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Thread: Women who let men walk all over them...

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    #1

    Women who let men walk all over them...

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    I'm not intending to ruffle feathers and this isnt directed to anyone here.

    I just cant stand when women tell me that their SOs treat them like crap. They control everything they do or say, they keep them on a leash, they hit them or verbally abuse them or make them scared to leave. WHY?????? Why would you allow someone man or woman treat you this way? What makes this attractive? It makes you look weak and I know this sounds bad but if you allow it and feed into it, you kinda of deserve it. I know the moment things started making its way towards this direction I would walk, in love or not. No one should let these people think its ok to treat you that way. It also seems to me that young girls allow this too. They are so blinded by "love" that they allow anything. What are your ladies thought???

    Again this isnt about anyone here or to cause drama.
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    I think the main issue with that particular scenario is self esteem.

    my mother was in a VERY BAD abusive relationship and while she was strong enough to get out of it after only a couple of years, it was so hard because you get into this cycle of believing that they will treat you better. and that when they DONT, it is actually YOUR FAULT.

    i know you don't mean to ruffle any feathers, but i would really like you to look at it from the point of view of someone who thinks NOTHING of themselves. rather than get mad at them (i know it is easy to do!!) instead think that they just need a bigger group of support. people who can help them boost their ego and learn to LOVE themselves.

    that is what they need to get out of the cycle of letting others control them.
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Bryanna View Post
    I think the main issue with that particular scenario is self esteem.

    my mother was in a VERY BAD abusive relationship and while she was strong enough to get out of it after only a couple of years, it was so hard because you get into this cycle of believing that they will treat you better. and that when they DONT, it is actually YOUR FAULT.

    i know you don't mean to ruffle any feathers, but i would really like you to look at it from the point of view of someone who thinks NOTHING of themselves. rather than get mad at them (i know it is easy to do!!) instead think that they just need a bigger group of support. people who can help them boost their ego and learn to LOVE themselves.

    that is what they need to get out of the cycle of letting others control them.
    I agree.

    Also, a woman that grows up with her parents behaving like that, sees this as NORMAL. They dont know any different until someone shows them that it isnt supposed to be that way.
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    #4
    Your right. I guess it was hard for me to understand that view. I have always been taught to see things a little diffrently and not to let those kind of men in my life. I understand what you ladies are saying. I never grew up in an enviroment to allow it personally KWIM?
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    #5
    yup, my mom made DAMN sure i never fell into the same trap she did.
    i have always had major issues with self esteem but fortunately i got to see what an abusive relationship is like and had a mother who taught me what i DESERVE in a relationship so i have never fell into that trap either. one of the few good things with my self esteem.
    i may not think much of myself sometimes, but at least i always know i deserve all things GOOD.
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    #6
    yeah its hard to accept but its true..
    alot of women are subjected to such horrible relationships..
    it makes me really sad!
    but some women are either scared to leave.. really attached and don't know any better..
    but then again we never know the situations of some people.
    its hard to say..
    but its like you ladies said we need to stick close to these people and help them and lead them into the right path.. keep those people in our prayers.
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    #7
    I think it's sad.

    I have no idea why women settle for less than the best, much less than they deserve you know? I grew up with it ALL around me and there is NO way I would put up with ANY of those things, including being cheated on. I have a lot to say but I know it will def. ruffle many a feather so I'll just leave at that.
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    #8
    I think that its hard for me to understand, because I am not the type to allow that to happen to me. Once I get treated any less then I deserve I will up and leave, I don't think that i can allow myself to get verbally, mentally, or physically abused by any man. I was raise in a housewhole where the women is very independed and will not allow a man to control them.

    I also have a friend that is going through mental and verbal abused from her husband and she was afraid to leave knowing that financially she won't be able to make it. Just recently she became very strong and stood up to him and is actually filing for a divorce. She finally was open with everyone about whats been going on and is able to receive lots of support and is now standing strong.

    I know that its hard for me to understand why women will subject themselves to such things from men, but unless i was in their shoes i rather "try" to understand rather then judge them.
    Gina~

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  9. Wah Its called life idiot
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    #9
    This is coming from someone who has let men walk over her her whole life.

    1. I never had a male role model in my life that should me otherwise. I had a man who left 3 weeks before I was born and still 28 years later have no clue about the man other then his name and where he lives approximently. The other men in my childhood were verbally abusive and alcoholic men.

    2. As I got older I thought that the only way to be loved was to be submissive and to let them do what they pleased.

    3. Low self esteem and drugs as a teen helped warp the attributes that I wanted in a partner.

    4. Being raped more then once helped create more self hatred and helped reinforce that I didn't deserve any better.

    5. Mind you I still have abusive role models in one shape and form.

    6. One relationship to the next from abusive to abusive to abusive to abusive = more low self esteem.

    Add that all up and it creates a women who has no sense of self worth and is desperately trying to fill the void in her heart that was never filled as a child and only continued to grow bigger and deeper as she got older.

    That is why some people fall into this type of relationship.



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    #10
    People can only speculate on a situation that they have never been in. It is hard to say what you would do if put into that type of situation

    I was married to a man that physically and mentally abused me. I got out in a year and a half, but it was hard to do. I am a very strong independent Latino woman with a "damn that attitude" I was raised to be indepentdent and strong, but that did not make getting out of that relationship any easier.

    1) I was embarrassed and afraid what people would think of me if I said something about it. Like, how could you allow that to happen to you!!
    2) You think it is going to get better, they promise you the moon stars and the earth, you want to beleive them so you foolishly stay.
    3) Your self-esteem is so low that you think this is all their is and you deserve nothing better, even though you know better.
    4) you get judged by people, especially women who say I would never let that happen to me, why did you let him do that to you!!! That pissed me off the worst, I am not saying that you would stay or not, but one thing you cannot do is predict what you or anyone else will do in any given situation.
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