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Thread: Another child support spinoff

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    #1

    Another child support spinoff

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    What do you about people using their subsequent children created with a different partner as a reason to why they shouldn't have to pay as much child support and/or can't help out with their prior children's expenses as much? When they say, "I can't afford my child support and/or help with extras beyond it because I have another child at home to support." When that child at home came after the one they're paying support for.


    For example:

    My mom has said this before when complaining about all the extra herbal meds and stuff my stepsister's mom would buy for my stepsister and expect my stepdad to pay half of those expenses because she considered them "medical" expenses since they were reccommended by a therapist. My mom would complain about how much my stepsister's camps cost and stuff (my mom works full time too) and how it's harder to afford those extras since she and my stepdad had 2 kids together (planned). She thinks my stepdad should have to contribute less to my stepsister because he has 2 other little ones at home to take care of too, even though they were born after my stepsister. I know my mom isn't the only one who feels this way.

    So what are your thoughts about people feeling subsequent children should be considered in determining how much child support prior children from prior relationships recieve?
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    #2
    My mom dealt with this when she was trying to get the child support she received from my father raised. His child support was set at $25 a week in 1980 for a one year old. In 1994 when she tried to get it raised, he took her to court and cited the fact that he now had three other children living under his roof, and couldn't afford to get it raised. The judge told him he knew he had an older child before he had the other three, so that wasn't a factor.
    My opinion is basically the same as the judges. Just because you have more kids doesn't negate your responsibility, emotionally or financially to the children from a prior relationship.
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    #3
    You know, this is such a sticky topic. I do not want to step on any toes so please everyone KNOW that I speak from personal experience.
    In our home we have 2 children who live with us. We have 3 children that do not. We take care of all five children.
    There is no excuse to not. It is not about the adults. It is about the NEEDS of the children.
    Kids do not cause the breakdown in marriage they should not be punished because of that.
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    #4
    I do not think that it would be fair to that child for their support to be cut because one parent decides to have more children. They still medical care, extras and everything else that the other children need.
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    #5
    It's not fair to not support or not give as much support simply because you chose to have more kids. It should factor into your budget. Basically it's not the child's fault that you didn't plan accordingly.


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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by heather679 View Post
    My mom dealt with this when she was trying to get the child support she received from my father raised. His child support was set at $25 a week in 1980 for a one year old. In 1994 when she tried to get it raised, he took her to court and cited the fact that he now had three other children living under his roof, and couldn't afford to get it raised. The judge told him he knew he had an older child before he had the other three, so that wasn't a factor.
    My opinion is basically the same as the judges. Just because you have more kids doesn't negate your responsibility, emotionally or financially to the children from a prior relationship.
    I agree with this completely!
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by rosebud* View Post
    It's not fair to not support or not give as much support simply because you chose to have more kids. It should factor into your budget. Basically it's not the child's fault that you didn't plan accordingly.
    I agree. Does one love one child more? I think not. It would be just WRONG to show that type of partiality and that is essentially what it is. I think of it this way...( understand this is me and how I relate it to my situation) God loves us all the same. Could you imagine if He only gave some of us a mansion in Heaven and to others a tent?
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    #8
    The judge told him he knew he had an older child before he had the other three, so that wasn't a factor.
    My opinion is basically the same as the judges.
    For a while, I had agreed with my mom and thought the courts were messed up for "taking away" from my brothers by not factoring them into determining what my stepdad had to pay for in regards to my stepsister, but I was 19-21 or so and still in my "selfish, only think about me" stage cuz I was still young. When I got a little older and more mature and really started thinking about it, I realized the courts were right.

    People CHOOSE to have more children after they know they already have a responsibility to their first or first set, whatever. And in doing so, they need to still be able to properly help out financially with their first child/ren. My opinion has become that of the judge's too. And I have told my mom that.
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    #9
    I agree. It's every parent's responsibility to provide for ALL their children, regardless of the childrens' living situations.

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    #10
    I guess too, it's not just the amount of support that's an issue for some people when they have more kids. It's helping out with the "extras." My stepdad always helped out with my stepsister's "extras" without complaining. Then my mom comes into the picture and they have 2 more kids, and suddenly it's a financial burden to help with those "extras" for my stepsister and how they can't afford as many extras for their 2 younger children because they're paying so much for my stepsister's stuff including helping out with her "extras."

    I think it's sad they can't do as many "extra" activities for my 2 younger brothers, but they knew their financial obligation to my stepsister, including helping with her "extras" well before they decided to have 2 more kids.
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